Beach Sloth

Steve Roggenbuck & Friends

               Steve says hi to everyone. He apologizes for his lateness. Poncho shows up in his first Spreecast event. While I got over that we had a new feature for the Spreecast. Spreecast loves Steve Roggenbuck. They built him a boost button so he could boost instantly. In fact, the boost button almost destroyed him. Boosting is a tough business. We could barely hear him. We only felt the power of his physical boosting presence on-screen. Steve cannot handle it. It says ‘boost’ and Steve laughs uncontrollably for about two hours. 

                James LaMarre comes up first. He tells us about Wendy’s. When you remove yourself from the Wendy’s lifestyle it becomes funny. We see the power of the display screen behind him. This is a multi-media presentation. It is so juvenile yet so funny. 

                Hillary Gardiner has a beautiful reading. I have read her work before. This is the first time I’m hearing a voice behind the work. While I listened to this I felt too close to the material. She takes reality and makes it ours. ‘Kid Rock endorses Mitt Romney’ she says. ‘That is all I will need to know about Mitt Romney’ she dryly delivers. Love this work. Things are better than they were five years ago she tells us. Her words about our generation are amazingly heavy. We long for a past that never existed. PDA does exist at the movies. She writes about writing about loneliness. She worries about live after the single life is over. 

                Greg Santos read Hulk in blue. The blue color indicated the sadness of Hulk. Hulk hates her yet thinks about her every single day. He reads about Westies. Apparently he dislikes Westies. In spite of this problem he finds beauty in their flaws. Everything can be beautiful if you look hard enough. Ugly is what makes MEMEs true MEMEs. Kim Kardashian gets a shout-out. Think poetry ignores Kim and her many foibles. 

                Steve Roggenbuck finishes it. Every ounce of his energy is used for the reading. Wearing a ‘Live My Lief’ T-shirt he appears happy. Spreecast gave Steve a ‘boost’ button. He presses it and it says ‘boost’. I hope to hear a 17 trance remix of the ‘boost’ button. A sunset heralds Steve’s reading. People appear to believe they have my identity ‘figured out’. Hope nobody figures it out. I am an enigma. Anybody who truly figures it out wins $5 probably or not. I’m poor. Steve now has cookies to give away, chewy chocolate chip cookies. I think Steve has officially made it.

                Macros are on screen. This is amazing. Steve has never done things with a teleprompter. You know who else uses a teleprompter? The President of the United States and Steve Roggenbuck has one more thing in common. ‘um yea my driveway is as big as fuck douchebag’ is shown for the world to see ‘with a shocking amount of Tumblr notes’ Steve says. Several macros of the ‘pants bro’ come up. I shall be doing music reviews via macros shortly. This may be a thing. I already ghostwrite. Why not move to the macro life? We hear about coral. Coral are animals according to a random YouTube visitor. 

                We are all on the internet Steve says. It is true. Even when I am away from the internet I’m always here for you. Remember that. IRL takes up most of my time. I like the fact that my online presence basically makes me a 24/7 operation. Steve knows this too. When you expand yourself on the internet long enough you basically create new versions of yourself. Is this the only version of me? Am I anything else besides Beach Sloth now? Is it possible to have a persona so great it eats up your IRL persona? I wonder about these things. I’m no internet Plato but somebody needs to ask these timeless questions.