we’re alive at the same time :)

every person on earth i love you

                Steve Roggenbuck sees his wife appear offline. For those unaware he spends all of his time on the internet. Without Steve Roggenbuck the internet is nothing. Twerking is mentioned. Yes 2012 was the year of the twerk. Is twerking the greatest accomplishment 2012 has to offer besides Matt Romney? Well just imagine Matt Romney twerking it for America. Imagine the majestic ass of Matt Romney partying hard. This is by no means the ‘game-changing’ element of the video though.

                Positive comments come out about Steve’s dog. Usually Steve’s dog annoys him to no end with his weird interest in religion, his inability to get along, and his love of ‘I <3 Huckabees’. This time the dog is the Houdini of Dogs or Houdoggie. Revel in the beauty and splendor of Steve and his dog reuniting. Has the spirit of Christmas infected the two of them bringing them closer together? Perhaps, but Steve’s dog maybe maturing. Maybe Steve’s dog realizes that it is time to move on and become an adult dog. 

                Haters continue to hate. Many pray for their haters. This approach is highly ineffective. Rather engage the haters. What Steve does is reach out to his haters. Steve Roggenbuck loves his haters. Every time he receives hate he turns the metaphorical social media based cheek. He tweets back a smiley face or a boost. Remember it is easy to be a lover, hard to be a hater. While criticism has an important place in discourse haterade does not. Haterade is the harshest of drinks. Drink in the love not the hate. 

                Various hoots are distributed at a party. This is the famous ‘the people that don’t know you are judging you’. The response is ‘oh I know’. Where is the fun? Here at this party there appears to be no fun whatsoever. If one can’t scream out at a party what kind of party is it? Even the tone of the person is extremely negative. Guess it was an extreme hater (IRL) edition party. 

                Walt Whitman gets love. The footage is beautiful. He recorded all of it. From the soaring beauty of Walt Whitman Steve Roggenbuck gets down to the ass cracks, the way he earns money. It is popularity thought that Steve earns his money by selling promotional material on his website (Crunk Juice, T-shirts, etc.). Steve earns his money another way. Steve Roggenbuck is the autofellatio expert of alt lit. Here he watches football, goes to car dealerships, and earns cash right at somebody else’s home. That’s why anyone who hosts Steve in their home should always knock first before entering the room. It is only being polite. 

                John Kilduff is the dad of Beach Sloth. Yes the truth needed to come out eventually. Thanks to the power of John, Beach Sloth was created, to bring support and joy to girls and boys across this great planet. Here John is busy popping popcorn, painting, and shouting. John Kilduff lives life harder than anybody. That’s why John wears a helmet when he makes popcorn. Everything he does he does hard. 

                Finally it ends with inspirational post-rock crescendo. People need to do more than follow their dreams. People can make their dreams possible. Work can make it possible. Everyone is here for a purpose. Find purpose. Be happy. Be free.