lieking

lieking:

selling some things for various reasons

there are also some intangible offers that i will accept payment for

INSTRUCTIONS:
if u want to buy something, send me an email at margauxzlee[at]gmail[.]com stating:

1) what u want to buy

2) name & address (gta make sure im not gna have to pay crazy…

                Maggie Lee is the Bruce Springsteen of Alt Lit. Raised in New Jersey, Maggie Lee was born to run. With ‘Bargain Sale’ her latest artistic endeavor, she hopes to make a little scratch. Lately Maggie Lee has been living the ‘eating out of garbage cans’ lifestyle. Obviously there is something romantic about rummaging through trash looking for two day old pizza crusts. Such a lifestyle can take its toll on the stomach. Hence Maggie, in her infinite kindness, has bestowed this ‘ye olde internet sale’ to those fortunate enough to follow her on Tumblr. Money raised from this sale will be donated to the ‘Maggie Lee endowment fund’ that supports Maggie Lees everywhere. 

                Headphones are the first thing on the block. For the low (getting low) price of $25 there are these rocking headphones. As a bonus Maggie Lee throws in something else into that $25 price tag: trust. Typically non-tangible emotions are not thrown into sales. Maggie Lee is no ordinary salesperson. Maggie Lee is a hero for the internet era. $25 is pretty good too considering that used headphones usually go for more online. Besides these aren’t gross looking ones. They look good. If they were ear buds though that would be pretty nasty. 

                Keep This Bag Away from Children is for sale as well. Maggie will use the proceeds from this sale to wine and dine the editor in chief. The mere fact that Maggie states where the money will go is really reassuring. $12 can go a long way in buying a couple slices of pizza and really cheap beer. Helping Maggie Lee to network with such highly esteemed editors is a very good thing. She really needs to connect with these wonderful people. Keep This Bag Away from Children changes lives. Isn’t it about time somebody changed theirs? And for $12 that can be done. 

                There’s even more tangible stuff. Hats are for sale. People really dig hats. Beach Sloth personally thinks hats are foolish especially when hoodies exist, but to each their own. A pink watch is on sale because Maggie no longer cares about the construct of time. A dress is for sale for an incredible bargain of only $10. $10 for a dress is amazing, that’s better than Target prices. Is Maggie Lee trying to be the Target of Alt Lit? She already is the ‘Bruce Springsteen of Alt Lit’, how many titles does she need? Seriously this is getting unreasonable. 

                Finally there’s the ‘personal touch’ of singing voicemails. $2 for this is a ‘steal’. Maggie Lee has an incredible singing voice probably. Maybe she doesn’t. Beach Sloth has never heard Maggie Lee sing so there’s no independent verification on this extremely important-ass topic. However to hear Maggie Lee trying ‘with effort’ to sing during a voicemail, that’s priceless. $2 is too little to pay for such a service. Beach Sloth suggests at least $8 for this once-in-a-lifetime service. 

                Help out Maggie Lee and she can finally afford food again. Food is good. Food is very good.