Brian Morton is a dad on the Internet. This is meant as the sincerest form of praise. Plenty of individuals live life on the Internet pretending to be dads. At this point being a dad on the Internet is a bit of a MEME. For dads the Internet is a thing their children use. Long ago dads might have been into computers getting everything programmed up but now that a computer is a form of communication, forget it. Good thing dads still have TV and recliners in their ‘man caves’ where they can retreat away from the rest of the world. Writing dads call ‘man caves’ their ‘studies’ in an attempt to disguise the generally useless activity that goes on in such a place.
With Twitter Brian Morton has found his perfect craft. Every tweet is focused on his inner dad. This is hard work especially to do online with sincerity. His children provide plenty of tweet-able quotes. Parents have children for a variety of reasons. At first children are adorable being cute not really contributing much of anything. Next with early childhood they become nearly philosophical with their musings about the world unfiltered from any particular basis. Later the children become entertaining providing a conversation partner. Bringing in the teens is troublesome due to the extreme irrational behavior they display. Finally when children become adults they leave to start new families or do whatever it is adults actually do with their lives. Reaching adulthood takes a lifetime.
Children psyche out their parents. Many child-held beliefs are insincere. Few children actually believe in Santa Claus. Rather the children humor their parents pretending that their parental overlords have that amount of power and influence behind them. When children fight the only thing that brings them back together is an even more pronounced dislike of those who brought them into the world. Anyone who tries to live-tweet their children fighting is in for a world of hurt. On the plus side the children will stop fighting each other giving the parents a peace of sorts.
A child eventually becomes an adult. Surprisingly children have incredibly good memories. Whatever is said to a child comes back to stay synced up in their mind for the rest of their days, even nights depending on how long they stay up for. Hipsters begin in childhood. Little fragments try to come together to build something very truly grand. There is a time and place for becoming a hipster. Enough effort on the part of a hipster makes them into aging hipsters into something entirely different. Inane thoughts of an aging hipster include what was cool and what is cool. Unfortunately due to age few aged hipsters are ever acknowledged for their hipness. On the plus side many aged hipsters have financial security and a roof over their heads, something few regular hipsters could even dream of.
Eventually Enlightenment happens. It takes a while. Younger individuals never understand what Enlightenment means. With years of living the purpose of Enlightenment becomes clear. Due to age restrictions Enlightenment can never be shared on the Internet for it is different for everyone.
Alt Lit is Casper the friendly ghost of literature. Kind, supportive, surrounded by a bunch of larger, oftentimes bully-like older ghost brothers Alt Lit has it rough. Life is difficult for Alt Lit. What makes it so difficult for those on the inside of the normal or money-producing literary scene is how fucking dang Alt Alt Lit is. Compared to other literary scenes Alt Lit is the absolute altest. Explaining how Alt Lit is different can be somewhat difficult. Thanks to the help of a particularly lovely ‘numbering scheme’ perhaps some of these Alt Lit problems can be clarified:
1. Alt Lit gives no fucks: this is true. Usually literature consists of a couple stuffy bros exploring philosophy using big old fancy words or some elegant grand scheme. With Alt Lit there is a greater focus on the most minimal usage of words for maximal impact. Everything is fair game. This includes GCHATS, text messages, Macros, Tweets, etc. For whatever reason the rest of literature decided that conversations over the phone are fair game for dialogue but for whatever reason text messaging, something done all the time, isn’t. Or even the whole ‘surfing the net’ that the young ones engage in is left out. Little reference is made to all the places that people tend to consume culture. Nobody goes to museums anymore. New art is rarely found in museums. Art is online. Art is free. Which is part of Alt Lit’s other problem.
2. Alt Lit is free: this is very true. There hasn’t been much of a sustainable business plan for Alt Lit. Indeed this is for something entirely different. People in Alt Lit tend to write for extremely personal reasons. Getting recognition for it and merging it with other forms makes it even more difficult for it to have a sustainable business model. Putting videos into a book is downright impossible. Sometimes they write for profit. With few profit centers even for those interested in turning a profit, the next best option is to at the very least ‘break even. More focus has been placed on trying to bring attention to the wonderful things going on and being given away for free after great amounts of work have been put in. Hopefully at some point in the future there will be a way to bring this into the future.
Of course these problems can be easily solved. Dan Holloway discusses how Tao Lin’s ‘Taipei’ could be a game-changing. Indeed Dan uses the violent language of a stealth fighter plane emerging from the clouds to wreak havoc upon the hopeless outdated villages below filled with foolish fools clinging to books and religion. Alt Lit in general is a non-violent sort of movement. If anyone from Alt Lit were to simply emerge out of the sky and start bombing things it would be that young dashing rapscallion Andrea Coates. Perhaps Alt Lit will continue to grow up to a point where it can no longer be ignored. Will Alt Lit be forever confined to the internet or can it grow beyond being a mere phenomenon like ‘Weird Twitter’ or ‘Vapor Wave’. Only time will time. Even if Alt Lit never becomes popular never becomes critically successful it shall linger on, like a ghost, forever cached on the internet, for discovery.