Beach Sloth

livemylief:

BE YOURSLEF (“PART 2: THERE ARE NO TACTICS”)

thank you for watching this. see also part one of “BE YOURSLEF” from january

                Steve mates with a cat. This is unusual. For a moment the cat is on a mystical, higher level with a coyness that is unbelievable. However it is a cat. Being coy is all cats do, besides sleep and love lasagna. Yep this is how cats live. Later on Steve Eskimo kisses the cat. Unfortunately the cat does not understand what this means, or how deep Steve’s love goes.

                This is the ultimate underground movement. Steve is literally in a basement. A Vicks dehumidifier is shown as an off-brand IMAC computer. Despite being a dehumidifier without a computer screen it manages to work better and crash less than the average Gateway desktop computer. Next to it is a sink. For some people a sink can be a sexual turn on. Clearly this is the case with Steve Roggenbuck. 

                A poor defenseless washing machine takes a drubbing by Steve. Though he boosts, he limits it to living creatures. Guess Steve has never seen ‘The Brave Little Toaster’. In that movie the appliances are alive. Some of the scenes in that movie are rather dark, particularly at the car ‘junkyard’ where the cars willing accept their fate to be crushed into small cubes. Children’s movies don’t get much darker than anthropomorphic cars killing themselves. 

                Pinterest is serious. Steve kills people using it. One day he meets somebody who has the same interest in smocks. Steve notices they have a cute picture of a smock. After gaining enough confidence Steve messages them on their Facebook with the line ‘Oh you have a smock on’ referencing the line in his first chapbook. Interested the other person meets Steve. The other person of course is Justin Bieber. Does Steve do it? Can Steve kill Justin Bieber to retain his title as the Pinterest killer? 

                Here Steve gets into the topic on everybody’s lips: the semi-boost. It is almost there but not quite. When one boosts, one must boost all the way. Would anybody have ever gotten to the moon if they did a half-boost? Of course not it took a full thrust, a full boost to escape the Earth’s gravity. Thanks to the space program humanity discovered golf could be played on the moon. 

                ‘I don’t care what other people think about me boosting’ is what Steve shouts. Haters are always going to hate. Once somebody starts appeasing the haters, well then everybody is going to be a hater. Dramatic post rock music does its little crescendo thing as Steve’s energy begins to peak. From there it goes to ‘the wine guy’ who apparently knows a ‘shit ton’ about wines. 

                Vlogtober continues like some out of control video blogging month.