unboxing video of the yolo pages :)

                The Boost House team together for the Christmas time of their lives. Unlike other Christmas times this one takes place in the Spring Time for that is the only time for true growth. Deep in the winter nothing happens. Bunch of snow falls on the ground, families come together, a few individuals live-tweet their lives, etc. Not very exciting for sharable click-bait and web content, in fact the holiday season is most dominated by parents on social media sharing pictures of their children. 

                Individuals express their happiness upon opening the six hundred copies of the Yolo pages. Steve Roggenbuck appears happy. Joseph Kendrick has lost his English accent having taken on the accent of a young American child. Lately Joseph Kendrick has been big into the American lifestyle. His bedroom has soda cans strewn across it. Had Joseph Kendrick maintained his Englishness doing English-type things he could have kept the accent. Anytime any English person goes waltzing into a Wal-Mart ready to save, that’s when the Americanization begins. 

                Everyone smiles at the Yolo Pages. Due to the color of the Yolo Pages the book is able to smile back. Across the world are over fifty contributors to the Yolo Pages. People express the utmost joy at finally having the Yolo Pages enter their homes. Young parents are going to read the Yolo Pages to their children. Those children, those silly children, are going to bring the Yolo Pages to school to express how boosted they were by a motley cast of assorted authors. Will teachers even be ready for the boosting that Boost House is bringing to countless neighborhoods of the world? Probably not as few teachers appear in the Yolo Pages, with a few #rare exceptions. 

                Beach Sloth continues to follow this fascinating story about the Yolo Pages. This is one of the few times Beach Sloth will ever see his name printed on pages. Currently only a select few places have ever published Beach Sloth in reality: Reality Hands, Lovebook (twice, thanks Lovebook) and now the Yolo Pages. In the future there will be future publishers who will look back at this time as the time Beach Sloth made it into the medium stream. 

                Yes Boost House is bringing tens of people into the limelight. Lemon-light is considerably sourer. Boost House believes in bringing the funk into the world. The Yolo Pages will bring the funk into the world of the readers across the world. Order the Yolo Pages here and enter into a world of beauty.

livemylief

livemylief:

I REALLY WANT HORSES TO KILL ME

               Steve Roggenbuck discusses the power of limp cock snapchats. For those unaware a limp cock is a cock that is not fully erect. Typically individuals using the esteemed snapchat application take pictures of their own cocks as is their want. Any technology that can further improve upon the ‘dick pic’ phenomenon is worth far more than three billion dollars, it is priceless. A snapchat account dedicated to the everyman’s cock, the flaccid cock, is a rare find indeed. With his flaccid cock blowing in the breeze like a proud American flag with the red white and blue displayed prominently Steve Roggenbuck is a patriot where it counts in his cock. Millions of people have been saved by the unbelievable power held within Steve Roggenbuck’s limp cock. 

                 Yes Steve Roggenbuck says that is one of his favorite species to look at, unfortunately he is ‘shut down’ by another individual who prefer looking alone. In a world full of pornography it makes sense to look alone. Watching pornography with a bunch of people tends to ruin the experience. Every time somebody puts up a cat poster of ‘hang in there’ they are putting up pornography. Animals walk around naked all the time. For some reason humans feel strange showing off their stuff letting it all hang out. Hence tailors are happy with any conservative style to cover everything up. Tailors are trying to hide people’s true outer beauty. 

                Families gather around the cellphone to watch Vines. Long ago people heard it through the grape vine. This is now. Grapes have been let go due to budgetary costs leaving the vines behind to tell it to whoever wants to listen. Release waivers need to be signed in order to get that sweet yummy vine information. When someone discovers what vines are for the first time it is a beautiful experience. Everything on a phone and a computer can be beautiful. Life is migrating to be fully online, up and running 24/7. 

                Ending it with some of the most poignant observations known to humankind Steve Roggenbuck discusses his web content creation skills. Lots of politicians promise to create jobs. That never really happens. What politicians can promise (and deliver on) are the beautiful pieces of web content. Humanity has evolved past the point of needing careers, sustainable income, and shelter. Because of the power of Daft Punk and of a constantly slow moving reality more people are migrating to become digital creatures of the night. Steve Roggenbuck is simply the beginning, the glad-handing grand-standing great good gargantuan guy who gives the world a hug from the comfort of his laptop. Remember to hug back.

what is heavy petting and can we please do it by Steve Roggenbuck

                YOLO is a hell of a phrase. People respond with YOLO because life is pretty short. Long lives are just long in perspective to other people. Satan sees these lives come down to his true pit of fire. Un-Satanic acts are incredibly disappointing to the dark lord. Without Satanic acts Satan feels left out in the cold which definitely bodes poorly for an individual into the whole molten Earth core. 

                British men narrate mating rituals all the time. The pornography industry took a cue from nature documentaries. Hearing a well-bred British man narrate a sexual act makes it far more intense. Oftentimes dirty movies have hard to follow plotlines. With a British narrator that problem is eliminated. Jumps in the narrative for a typical porno can be hard to swallow as well. For those there is the narrator ready to give important backstory to the dirty movie. 

                People look good when they take pictures of themselves. SELFIEs are going to bring world peace. After enough fighting what the world needs is SELFIE, sweet SELFIE. Focus on the self is incredibly important in a world with billions of people, all of whom have entirely different dreams. The right filters help people look softer than they actually do. Deep in the electronic world everyone manages to soften up and to get a little vulnerable. Life in the digital world is incredibly vulnerable: giving oneself up for plenty of others to view. 

                Comfortable silence happens with close relationships. Few effectively pull off comfortable silence. Anybody who has someone they can share moments without speaking, that is a keeper. Rarely do people feel the need to simply stare off into the distance with neither saying a word. Those moments ought to be cherished for they are beautiful. 

                Body language requires translators. Not everyone can understand body language. A wide variety of body types exist in the world from bodacious to banging. Categorizing body types is impossible. Everyone wants different things. Like the sun people’s beauty radiates. People can get tan in the beauty that comes from others. Sometimes the best things in life are those that are full of light. 

                Going with a special someone into the night is excellent. The night covers everything like a big blanket. The night wants to be understood as a time of affection, not fear. After a hot day the best thing that can be done is to cool down underneath the glowing patient moon.

WHY I DROPPED OUT OF MY MFA PROGRAM BY STEVE ROGGENBUCK

                Remember why you are alive. Take a chance. Go out your door and greet the beautiful day that exists just for you. Every day you get is another day that is subdivided by names, numbers, months, years. You have no idea how fortunate you are to make your own decisions. Lots of people wish they could be you, as clever, as resourceful, as full of life, and as beautiful. When you grab this day by the horns prepare to hold on tight for the day is a mechanical bull. One of your friends rented it for $800 and they have it until 9:00 PM when Gary comes to pick it up. 

                You might ask yourself “What am I doing today that is different from any other day”? That is an incredibly important question. Fortunately you are not alone. Every day people stare at sunrises and sunsets getting work done. School is supposed to prepare people for this routine. Probably you have gone to school. A person you respect told you it was a good idea. Depending on your goals it may or may not have been, I don’t want to speak for you. That’s your job. What you ought to know is there can be new paths to forge. The path less traveled by is more than a Robert Frost concept it is a source of hope and people still take it. 

                Steve Roggenbuck took it. You may remember Steve Roggenbuck from Rolling Stone Magazine, from the New York Times, or, most importantly, the Beach Sloth BlogSpot, a famous BlogSpot for those in the Blog. What Steve Roggenbuck did was find his own path. You may find it hard to believe but Steve Roggenbuck found his own path easier than the one prescribed. Not everybody is meant for predetermined paths. Plenty of people take those traveled by paths jammed with people moving slowly. Sometimes the way you succeed is by jumping off the path and running. Believe it or not the exercise is good for you. On the path less traveled by you can go on your own pace. The path less traveled by seems lonely at times. 

                Loneliness can be a part of picking a different path. You might feel alone at first. Upon traveling down a path, the one you choose, you’ll become honest with yourself and your goals. Eventually you’ll meet others, people like yourself, who choose different ways to live. There is no way that works for everybody, thank goodness. Difference is what makes people so exciting. You should listen to yourself. You have some good ideas. Now is the time to follow them.

livemylief
livemylief:

kiss my dad at a shinedown concert

It was the best of times; it was the face of times. Steve Roggenbuck describes in graphic detail his relationship to his dick, his dad, and his doo-doo. Using the juvenile word ‘poop’ to replace the sophistication of feces adds a level of humor into the poem. This might be one of Steve Roggenbuck’s silliest poems, and that’s certainly saying something. Despite the obvious absurdity there is a clear linear path of what is happening within the poem. Several stories are intermingled within the piece allowing for a great variety of color beyond the basic brownish color that human solid waste usually takes. 

Steve Roggenbuck’s dick undergoes a stroke of genius. Facetime is a great way for people to get into contact with their dicks. Roughly 80 to 90 percent of Facetime is soft-core or partly soft-core porn. Everyone is happy. Young buck Roggenbuck takes his dick pic, by all accounts majestic, and strangely burns it to a CD-R. The reason for this remains unclear. Does Steve Roggenbuck hope someone will listen to the CD-R to hear the sounds of dick? It is too hard and throbbing to tell. 

Poop is the star of the poem. Where the poop originates from is of the utmost importance. Steve Roggenbuck appears to be rather attracted to his own defecation. Oddly Steve Roggenbuck spanks his poop before flirting with it. Relationships typically begin with flirting and end with spanking. They do not usually outright begin with spanking. Maybe relationships with one’s own defecation take a different route, a kinkier route. Anyone who plays with their own defecation has a fetish that goes a bit beyond the norm. 

Dad poop is cherished by Steve Roggenbuck. Here Steve Roggenbuck treats his dad’s feces with respect. For some reason Steve Roggenbuck manages to purchase his dad’s poop on the internet. This means his dad is strapped for cash trying to sell his poop on the internet. Such a poignant look at dire financial straits gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘shit is tight’. Petting his dad’s poop it is obvious that Steve Roggenbuck enjoys the company of his dad’s poop. Out of kindness Steve Roggenbuck buys head phones for his dad on eBay and a Pac-Sun gift card. 

The Pac-Sun gift card gets hit by a bag of poop. Here it is unclear whether it is a sandwich bag of Steve Roggenbuck’s poop, his dad’s poop, or an unknown third party’s poop. Whoever is responsible for the defecation it is a clear sign that Steve Roggenbuck has extreme doubt about purchasing the Pac-Sun gift card. Maybe this entire poem is a great rumination about the state of consumer culture, of how the objects purchased for others are nothing more than defecation. Or maybe, just maybe, this is a poem about poop. 

livemylief:

kiss my dad at a shinedown concert

It was the best of times; it was the face of times. Steve Roggenbuck describes in graphic detail his relationship to his dick, his dad, and his doo-doo. Using the juvenile word ‘poop’ to replace the sophistication of feces adds a level of humor into the poem. This might be one of Steve Roggenbuck’s silliest poems, and that’s certainly saying something. Despite the obvious absurdity there is a clear linear path of what is happening within the poem. Several stories are intermingled within the piece allowing for a great variety of color beyond the basic brownish color that human solid waste usually takes. 

Steve Roggenbuck’s dick undergoes a stroke of genius. Facetime is a great way for people to get into contact with their dicks. Roughly 80 to 90 percent of Facetime is soft-core or partly soft-core porn. Everyone is happy. Young buck Roggenbuck takes his dick pic, by all accounts majestic, and strangely burns it to a CD-R. The reason for this remains unclear. Does Steve Roggenbuck hope someone will listen to the CD-R to hear the sounds of dick? It is too hard and throbbing to tell. 

Poop is the star of the poem. Where the poop originates from is of the utmost importance. Steve Roggenbuck appears to be rather attracted to his own defecation. Oddly Steve Roggenbuck spanks his poop before flirting with it. Relationships typically begin with flirting and end with spanking. They do not usually outright begin with spanking. Maybe relationships with one’s own defecation take a different route, a kinkier route. Anyone who plays with their own defecation has a fetish that goes a bit beyond the norm. 

Dad poop is cherished by Steve Roggenbuck. Here Steve Roggenbuck treats his dad’s feces with respect. For some reason Steve Roggenbuck manages to purchase his dad’s poop on the internet. This means his dad is strapped for cash trying to sell his poop on the internet. Such a poignant look at dire financial straits gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘shit is tight’. Petting his dad’s poop it is obvious that Steve Roggenbuck enjoys the company of his dad’s poop. Out of kindness Steve Roggenbuck buys head phones for his dad on eBay and a Pac-Sun gift card. 

The Pac-Sun gift card gets hit by a bag of poop. Here it is unclear whether it is a sandwich bag of Steve Roggenbuck’s poop, his dad’s poop, or an unknown third party’s poop. Whoever is responsible for the defecation it is a clear sign that Steve Roggenbuck has extreme doubt about purchasing the Pac-Sun gift card. Maybe this entire poem is a great rumination about the state of consumer culture, of how the objects purchased for others are nothing more than defecation. Or maybe, just maybe, this is a poem about poop. 

livemylief

livemylief:

we can change the world

                Steve Roggenbuck is the rogue of bucks. According to this video he is the rogue of ducks too. Ducks fly away from Steve like they owed him money. Weirdly the ducks do owe him money. Long ago Steve Roggenbuck sent his critically acclaimed book ‘CRUNK JUICE’ to lots of ducks and Canadian Geese. Unfortunately those slick birds never paid up for the books. Hence that’s why Steve Roggenbuck is surrounded by various forms of bird defecation. 

                Justin Timberlake is called out for his failure to bring sexy back. Recently Justin Timberlake has been riding a wave of good will with his chart-topping hit album ‘The 20/20 Experience’ about optometry. Many eye doctors were moved by Justin Timberlake’s vision, which is perfect. However Steve Roggenbuck isn’t letting Justin Timberlake get away that easily. If in fact Justin Timberlake has this ‘20/20’ vision he should be able to easily spot out sexy. Upon seeing sexy Justin Timberlake should be able to shepherd the return of sexy. Honestly Justin Timberlake is a relatively attractive young chap with a serious bro following. If he can’t bring sexy back then nobody can. 

                ‘Fucker’ is a popular word in the English lexicon. Steve Roggenbuck asks the ancient question: who is the fuckee? It is worth asking. ‘What is the sound of one hand fucking?’ is pretty easily answered. But this, who is the one getting fucked, that’s hard to say. Politicians say it is the American people suffering under the yolk of one of the worst economic downturns in decades. The American people don’t deserve to suffer under the yolk of one of the worst economic downturns in decades they deserve egg whites. Egg whites are way healthier. Egg whites are delicious and nutritious.  

 

                Will Smith is another celebrity endorsement. Yep Will Smith is endorsed by Steve Roggenbuck internet celebrity. Out of thousands of celebrities only one has created a word that will last through the ages: jiggy. Getting jiggy with it remains one of the great 90s masterpieces, up there with Slint’s ‘Spiderland’, Tortoise’s ‘Millions Now Living Will Never Die’, and Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’. Of course Will Smith minds a lot though. He never uses the word ‘Nevermind’ because Will Smith loves everything. Will Smith is the embodiment of pure love. 

                Hugging is a huge part of Steve Roggenbuck’s brand. Without hugs Steve Roggenbuck is less of a man. Real men hug. Real women hug. Real sloths hug. Real anything likes hugs. That’s why materialism is so scary. No piece of stuff hugs a person back. People need each other. People need to work for each other. Geography is only a thing that separates people. Hugs bring them together.

livemylief
livemylief:

when i was in high school i wanted to play in a band for a living. in college i switched my focus to poetry and later i expanded to video, but esentialy i kept the same goal: i wanted to “make a living” from my art, so i can spend my #rare time alive on what i believe in and what makes me hapy. for the past two years i’ve worked particularly hard at making that hapen. i’ve been sucessful by my definition (yayy!), and one of my bigest guides along the way has been gary vaynerchuk
if you’ve seen many of my videos at all, u have probaly seen clips of gary (here, here, here, here, here). gary’s message is rooted in a strong awareness of YOLO: you only live once, so do what you love. much of gary’s work is teaching specific ways to make it possible to do what u love, he talks about how to build a folowing and community around your work online. much of my aproach to social media community building—how i run my twitter, livestreams, etc—has been adapted from gary’s ideas
the core of gary’s marketing philosophy is to CARE—to be there for your folowers, actualy respond to them, say thanks when people share your work, check out their work in return, make friends and be part of the comunity. this works because when you give back (or give first) so generously, your folowers tend to get more enthusiastic and help share your work. equally simple is gary’s philosophy of personal brand, which is basicaly be yourself.. gary says “there are no damn tactics: be who you are, talk about shit you love”
today i got to interview gary! often gary addresses the concerns of big brands, but this interview is directed at young artists who are trying to build a folowing and eventualy make money from what they love

(back-up mp3 link if the player isn’t working: click here!)take-away points (SPOLIER ALERT)
if you’re considering pursuing your art/passion, dont focus on concerns about whether you’ll have success or security within 5-10 years—focus on whether you’ll be 70 years old and have regrets that you never tried!!
when you eventualy release a book/album/etc and you need your community to actualy follow thru and support you, you should just ask them for what you want, don’t fear rejection.
when you do IRL events like shows or readings, make the most of any turn-out by giving your full heart and soul to the attendees. connect personaly w/ each person there. then those few ppl wil be the ones to help u get many more ppl out next time
don’t beat yourself up for sucking at 99.9% of things, just go super hard at the 0.1% you are realy good at!! build around what u are good at

if you like this interview i recomend gary’s book CRUSH IT, and this video of him click here!! his upcoming book this fall is called Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook! u can also follow him on twitter and facebook, and look thru his website garyvaynerchuk.com

                Steve Roggenbuck has sampled Gary Vaynerchuk’s videos for an extremely long period of time. For a long time Gary has served as a sort of guide to young Steve Roggenbuck. Many of the inspirational quotes from Gary Vaynerchuk have inspired Steve to set off into the world. The tour of the United States, East Coast and Best Coast, has been due to Gary’s ability to inspire Steve that ‘YOLO’. 

                Art can support people. This is hugely important. Gary wonders why passions are sort of ‘simmered down’. Structured systems create this feeling that art is too risky. Picking another career path is what is generally suggested. Doing this is a bit of a downer however. For those artists who give up there is the sense of regret. Life should not be a series of ‘What Ifs’. Of course that will happen, one cannot do everything. Life desires passion. By giving up on this passion and resigning one’s fate to just a job, a job that’s not loved, is the saddest thing possible. Going for it, and even failing, is life. It is okay to fail. If someone fails that means they at least tried. Not even doing that can be such a sad occurrence. 

                Story telling depends on the medium. Multiple online platforms exist. Here Steve asks Gary about shares for sites that allow it versus sites those that do not. Functions of sharing are inevitable. Gary states that people find ways to pass on information. Long ago the share-ability of songs came from cassettes, CDs; MP3s. Things have taken on since then. Platforms are forced to share. Twitter used to lack a re-tweet function many years ago. Now thankfully such a thing is made possible. The will of the end consumer will prevail over this lack of sharing. 

                Money from art is important. Gary suggests getting someone to help with sales can help. Some artists like ‘Beach Sloth’ do occasionally ask for money by asking readers to paypal: pleasepaybeachsloth@gmail.com. Yes it can be that transparent. Business requires this in order to sustain the art. Through giving lots of stuff away for free artists can feel worried when they ultimately have to ask for money. However if the art can be monetarily sustainable then the art can last quite a while. 

                Videos of Gary on YouTube get Steve ‘pumped’. The IRL events are for everyone. Gary states that even small exhibits can improve turnout. If eight people show up then that’s worth it. Showing those eight people an amazing time can result in a greater turnout the next time. Bigger audiences do not mean better. What a bigger audience means is those smaller audiences beforehand helped to improve everything. 

                Tapping into self-awareness is extremely important for Gary. Parts of this came from his upbringing. Gary lives life pretty hard. Honestly though Gary feels he is terrible at most of what he does. For that 0.1% though he rocks it hard. Everyone is special at something. Nobody can be perfect at everything. Mastery of one skill is critical. 

                Finally it ends with the sort of question and answer session that needs to be heard to be believed. Everything that came before the last question becomes crystal clear by the end. Honestly Gary and Steve come across as two similar souls on this epic phone interview.

livemylief:

when i was in high school i wanted to play in a band for a living. in college i switched my focus to poetry and later i expanded to video, but esentialy i kept the same goal: i wanted to “make a living” from my art, so i can spend my #rare time alive on what i believe in and what makes me hapy. for the past two years i’ve worked particularly hard at making that hapen. i’ve been sucessful by my definition (yayy!), and one of my bigest guides along the way has been gary vaynerchuk

if you’ve seen many of my videos at all, u have probaly seen clips of gary (here, here, here, here, here). gary’s message is rooted in a strong awareness of YOLO: you only live once, so do what you love. much of gary’s work is teaching specific ways to make it possible to do what u love, he talks about how to build a folowing and community around your work online. much of my aproach to social media community building—how i run my twitter, livestreams, etc—has been adapted from gary’s ideas

the core of gary’s marketing philosophy is to CARE—to be there for your folowers, actualy respond to them, say thanks when people share your work, check out their work in return, make friends and be part of the comunity. this works because when you give back (or give first) so generously, your folowers tend to get more enthusiastic and help share your work. equally simple is gary’s philosophy of personal brand, which is basicaly be yourself.. gary says “there are no damn tactics: be who you are, talk about shit you love”

today i got to interview gary! often gary addresses the concerns of big brands, but this interview is directed at young artists who are trying to build a folowing and eventualy make money from what they love

(back-up mp3 link if the player isn’t working: click here!)

take-away points (SPOLIER ALERT)

  • if you’re considering pursuing your art/passion, dont focus on concerns about whether you’ll have success or security within 5-10 years—focus on whether you’ll be 70 years old and have regrets that you never tried!!

  • when you eventualy release a book/album/etc and you need your community to actualy follow thru and support you, you should just ask them for what you want, don’t fear rejection.

  • when you do IRL events like shows or readings, make the most of any turn-out by giving your full heart and soul to the attendees. connect personaly w/ each person there. then those few ppl wil be the ones to help u get many more ppl out next time

  • don’t beat yourself up for sucking at 99.9% of things, just go super hard at the 0.1% you are realy good at!! build around what u are good at

image

if you like this interview i recomend gary’s book CRUSH IT, and this video of him click here!! his upcoming book this fall is called Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook! u can also follow him on twitter and facebook, and look thru his website garyvaynerchuk.com

                Steve Roggenbuck has sampled Gary Vaynerchuk’s videos for an extremely long period of time. For a long time Gary has served as a sort of guide to young Steve Roggenbuck. Many of the inspirational quotes from Gary Vaynerchuk have inspired Steve to set off into the world. The tour of the United States, East Coast and Best Coast, has been due to Gary’s ability to inspire Steve that ‘YOLO’. 

                Art can support people. This is hugely important. Gary wonders why passions are sort of ‘simmered down’. Structured systems create this feeling that art is too risky. Picking another career path is what is generally suggested. Doing this is a bit of a downer however. For those artists who give up there is the sense of regret. Life should not be a series of ‘What Ifs’. Of course that will happen, one cannot do everything. Life desires passion. By giving up on this passion and resigning one’s fate to just a job, a job that’s not loved, is the saddest thing possible. Going for it, and even failing, is life. It is okay to fail. If someone fails that means they at least tried. Not even doing that can be such a sad occurrence. 

                Story telling depends on the medium. Multiple online platforms exist. Here Steve asks Gary about shares for sites that allow it versus sites those that do not. Functions of sharing are inevitable. Gary states that people find ways to pass on information. Long ago the share-ability of songs came from cassettes, CDs; MP3s. Things have taken on since then. Platforms are forced to share. Twitter used to lack a re-tweet function many years ago. Now thankfully such a thing is made possible. The will of the end consumer will prevail over this lack of sharing. 

                Money from art is important. Gary suggests getting someone to help with sales can help. Some artists like ‘Beach Sloth’ do occasionally ask for money by asking readers to paypal: pleasepaybeachsloth@gmail.com. Yes it can be that transparent. Business requires this in order to sustain the art. Through giving lots of stuff away for free artists can feel worried when they ultimately have to ask for money. However if the art can be monetarily sustainable then the art can last quite a while. 

                Videos of Gary on YouTube get Steve ‘pumped’. The IRL events are for everyone. Gary states that even small exhibits can improve turnout. If eight people show up then that’s worth it. Showing those eight people an amazing time can result in a greater turnout the next time. Bigger audiences do not mean better. What a bigger audience means is those smaller audiences beforehand helped to improve everything. 

                Tapping into self-awareness is extremely important for Gary. Parts of this came from his upbringing. Gary lives life pretty hard. Honestly though Gary feels he is terrible at most of what he does. For that 0.1% though he rocks it hard. Everyone is special at something. Nobody can be perfect at everything. Mastery of one skill is critical. 

                Finally it ends with the sort of question and answer session that needs to be heard to be believed. Everything that came before the last question becomes crystal clear by the end. Honestly Gary and Steve come across as two similar souls on this epic phone interview.

COLOR ME FUNNY


                March 14th at Delia Foley’s at 8:30 PM Alt Lit history will be borne out of the mouths of babes. One of those babes is the infinitely affable Steve Roggenbuck, webmaster of ‘Live my Lief’ and preeminent poet of the online generation. Rarely does Mr. Roggenbuck make his way to Baltimore, Maryland. Yet that’s exactly what is happening this very Thursday, March 14th. Things are changing. Baltimore has done a lot to prepare itself for Steve Roggenbuck’s visit. What are most exciting are the little things about the arrival. Blink and one might miss them. 

                The first thing is the most obvious. The ‘Shamrock’ shake has transfigured itself into the ‘Shamcock’ shake to better advertise itself to Steve Roggenbuck’s legion of cockboys. Since settling down the cockboys have had an easy time of things in merry old Chicago, working as baristas and street walkers. And boy when one of Steve Roggenbuck’s cockboys passes, each person they pass goes ‘Ah’. It is like ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ but updated to include Steve Roggenbuck’s cockboy entourage. Many of them are looking forward to seeing Baltimore once more, a place so nice they named it once and promptly forgot about it because Washington, D.C. is right next door and less funky. More no mistake about it, Baltimore is funky as fuck. There is a reason John Waters set ‘Pink Flamingos’ in Baltimore. People get a real thrill out of it, like Steve Roggenbuck does whenever he visits. 

                Baltimore is ready for its self-appointed ‘sexual cartographer’.  Flowers are budding. Trees are growing there leaves once more. Some say this is due to the change of the seasons, from winter into spring. Life is coming to rescue people from the cold dark grays of winter. While there is some truth to this whole ‘season’ thing part of the reason is due to the infinitely fertile loins of Steve Roggenbuck. Sadly since Steve Roggenbuck last arrived on Baltimore’s hallowed-ass shores, he’s shed himself of the ‘pre and post’ cum filled pants that defined an era of him. Now sold on EBAY to someone who will definitely not wash them Steve has new plans for Baltimore. In Baltimore Steve Roggenbuck will twerk hard to create pre cum stains on the pants of hundreds of lucky boys and girls, transforming them into adults from mere children. 

                Alt Lit and comedy will come together for this delightful little shindig. Among the lucky ones are a bunch of comedians who will probably raise the roof, transforming scrappy little Delia Foley’s regular ceiling height into loft style. That’s classy. As an additional bonus Beach Sloth, a rare and mysterious beast, will make a rare appearance where he will either ‘rock the house’, ‘suck’, or more probably reach a level in between those two extremes. No photography please for Beach Sloth, but for Steve Roggenbuck: go nuts. Take lots of pictures. Steve Roggenbuck is the Johnny Appleseed of poetry. Watch him plant seeds of wisdom in the mind.

COLOR ME FUNNY

                March 14th at Delia Foley’s at 8:30 PM Alt Lit history will be borne out of the mouths of babes. One of those babes is the infinitely affable Steve Roggenbuck, webmaster of ‘Live my Lief’ and preeminent poet of the online generation. Rarely does Mr. Roggenbuck make his way to Baltimore, Maryland. Yet that’s exactly what is happening this very Thursday, March 14th. Things are changing. Baltimore has done a lot to prepare itself for Steve Roggenbuck’s visit. What are most exciting are the little things about the arrival. Blink and one might miss them. 

                The first thing is the most obvious. The ‘Shamrock’ shake has transfigured itself into the ‘Shamcock’ shake to better advertise itself to Steve Roggenbuck’s legion of cockboys. Since settling down the cockboys have had an easy time of things in merry old Chicago, working as baristas and street walkers. And boy when one of Steve Roggenbuck’s cockboys passes, each person they pass goes ‘Ah’. It is like ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ but updated to include Steve Roggenbuck’s cockboy entourage. Many of them are looking forward to seeing Baltimore once more, a place so nice they named it once and promptly forgot about it because Washington, D.C. is right next door and less funky. More no mistake about it, Baltimore is funky as fuck. There is a reason John Waters set ‘Pink Flamingos’ in Baltimore. People get a real thrill out of it, like Steve Roggenbuck does whenever he visits. 

                Baltimore is ready for its self-appointed ‘sexual cartographer’.  Flowers are budding. Trees are growing there leaves once more. Some say this is due to the change of the seasons, from winter into spring. Life is coming to rescue people from the cold dark grays of winter. While there is some truth to this whole ‘season’ thing part of the reason is due to the infinitely fertile loins of Steve Roggenbuck. Sadly since Steve Roggenbuck last arrived on Baltimore’s hallowed-ass shores, he’s shed himself of the ‘pre and post’ cum filled pants that defined an era of him. Now sold on EBAY to someone who will definitely not wash them Steve has new plans for Baltimore. In Baltimore Steve Roggenbuck will twerk hard to create pre cum stains on the pants of hundreds of lucky boys and girls, transforming them into adults from mere children. 

                Alt Lit and comedy will come together for this delightful little shindig. Among the lucky ones are a bunch of comedians who will probably raise the roof, transforming scrappy little Delia Foley’s regular ceiling height into loft style. That’s classy. As an additional bonus Beach Sloth, a rare and mysterious beast, will make a rare appearance where he will either ‘rock the house’, ‘suck’, or more probably reach a level in between those two extremes. No photography please for Beach Sloth, but for Steve Roggenbuck: go nuts. Take lots of pictures. Steve Roggenbuck is the Johnny Appleseed of poetry. Watch him plant seeds of wisdom in the mind.

RARE STEVE ROGGENBUCK PANTS (WHAT THE FRICK)


                Steve Roggenbuck’s pants are majestic. Many have referred to his pants as ‘the brotherhood of the traveling pants’. They are the only pants Steve has owned for years. Worn down due to his intense belief in living his life, they are a mere shell of their previous full-panted shelves. Nevertheless, they are a part of history. Featured in the exclusive footage of the Style Section of the New York Times, they are iconic. No pair of pants has done what Steve Roggenbuck’s pants have done. Going across America, spreading poetry, starting poetic mosh pits, the pants pictures are plentiful. One could simply stare at the many pictures of Steve with his pants on, despite many people’s desperate pleas to remove them, and figure they are a symbol of fortitude. More importantly however is the ability to purchase said pants. 

                For the Satanic price of $666, one can remove Steve Roggenbuck’s pants. Many have asked Steve Roggenbuck to ‘take off his shirt’, ‘swing peen on cam’, and ‘take off pants’ many times before. Well this is their opportunity to put their money where their crotch is. Steve Roggenbuck has an extremely rabid fan base, up to the point where some people literally ‘foam at the mouth’ with each additional poem or video. Yes Steve Roggenbuck makes the world a happier place. Honestly Steve Roggenbuck has worked really hard to create poetic communities across the country. Countless people who would have otherwise never met became close friends thanks to Steve’s tireless efforts.

                Well it may be time to give back. Steve Roggenbuck is settling down in Chicago to continue his poetic pursuits. Like all great members of Alt Lit, Steve Roggenbuck wants to get in on that sweet ‘Alt Lit Dad’ life. Beach Sloth does it. Every morning when Beach Sloth wakes up at the crack of noon he sees his kids working on the farm, picking beets and composing tweets. Typically Beach Sloth’s kids are up several hours before Beach Sloth, since Beach Sloth loves the ‘sleeping in sloth life’. Though the beets are delicious, the tweets are weak. It isn’t their fault. Beach Sloth’s children are still too young for some of the more adult themes in Alt Lit. Steve Roggenbuck knows this too, which is why he reverts to the safer parenting decision of having his children just whip quarters at him from the comfort of his brand-ass new apartment in Chicago. 

                A permanent residence is a beautiful thing for the former nomad. Steve Roggenbuck will continue to maintain his ‘online as fuck’ presence. Upon a few more months there might even be an ‘Alt Lit House’ dedicated to better serving community needs for sick fucks. Every city in America deals with its Alt Lit sick fucks differently. With additional income Steve can begin this house, a house the likes of which have never been seen before. If the internet gives back with a Satanic level of money (or higher) than Steve’s ability to raise a family of truly fricked up kids can be achieved. Honestly Steve Roggenbuck would make a great Alt Lit dad, gesticulating wildly, shouting at them, and shaking what the good lord gave him, his cunning intellect. 

                Please peruse and perchance purchase Steve Roggenbuck’s pants. Pre-cum and Post-cum stains are included as they have never been washed.

RARE STEVE ROGGENBUCK PANTS (WHAT THE FRICK)

                Steve Roggenbuck’s pants are majestic. Many have referred to his pants as ‘the brotherhood of the traveling pants’. They are the only pants Steve has owned for years. Worn down due to his intense belief in living his life, they are a mere shell of their previous full-panted shelves. Nevertheless, they are a part of history. Featured in the exclusive footage of the Style Section of the New York Times, they are iconic. No pair of pants has done what Steve Roggenbuck’s pants have done. Going across America, spreading poetry, starting poetic mosh pits, the pants pictures are plentiful. One could simply stare at the many pictures of Steve with his pants on, despite many people’s desperate pleas to remove them, and figure they are a symbol of fortitude. More importantly however is the ability to purchase said pants. 

                For the Satanic price of $666, one can remove Steve Roggenbuck’s pants. Many have asked Steve Roggenbuck to ‘take off his shirt’, ‘swing peen on cam’, and ‘take off pants’ many times before. Well this is their opportunity to put their money where their crotch is. Steve Roggenbuck has an extremely rabid fan base, up to the point where some people literally ‘foam at the mouth’ with each additional poem or video. Yes Steve Roggenbuck makes the world a happier place. Honestly Steve Roggenbuck has worked really hard to create poetic communities across the country. Countless people who would have otherwise never met became close friends thanks to Steve’s tireless efforts.

                Well it may be time to give back. Steve Roggenbuck is settling down in Chicago to continue his poetic pursuits. Like all great members of Alt Lit, Steve Roggenbuck wants to get in on that sweet ‘Alt Lit Dad’ life. Beach Sloth does it. Every morning when Beach Sloth wakes up at the crack of noon he sees his kids working on the farm, picking beets and composing tweets. Typically Beach Sloth’s kids are up several hours before Beach Sloth, since Beach Sloth loves the ‘sleeping in sloth life’. Though the beets are delicious, the tweets are weak. It isn’t their fault. Beach Sloth’s children are still too young for some of the more adult themes in Alt Lit. Steve Roggenbuck knows this too, which is why he reverts to the safer parenting decision of having his children just whip quarters at him from the comfort of his brand-ass new apartment in Chicago. 

                A permanent residence is a beautiful thing for the former nomad. Steve Roggenbuck will continue to maintain his ‘online as fuck’ presence. Upon a few more months there might even be an ‘Alt Lit House’ dedicated to better serving community needs for sick fucks. Every city in America deals with its Alt Lit sick fucks differently. With additional income Steve can begin this house, a house the likes of which have never been seen before. If the internet gives back with a Satanic level of money (or higher) than Steve’s ability to raise a family of truly fricked up kids can be achieved. Honestly Steve Roggenbuck would make a great Alt Lit dad, gesticulating wildly, shouting at them, and shaking what the good lord gave him, his cunning intellect. 

                Please peruse and perchance purchase Steve Roggenbuck’s pants. Pre-cum and Post-cum stains are included as they have never been washed.

livemylief

livemylief:

PUMP UP VIDEO FOR LIEF IN GENERAL

if anyone shows us the ceiling, we show them sky

                Fathers are an important part of Alt Lit. Steve Roggenbuck reveals he’s part of the ‘Dad wave’ though he is no ‘Sad core’. Rather the inner happiness of parenthood is shown. Kids love cutting their parents. Throwing things at parents is part of growing up. What kind of kid doesn’t enjoy throwing quarters at their parents? Any kid who does not is a ‘fricked up kid’ to use the parlance of the times. For his kids, Steve Roggenbuck engages in painful activities. Raising kids hurts, particularly when the kids step on their parents’ backs or shove them into table corners. Of course the parents knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. Parenthood is not a game for everyone. But at the end, when those kids become parents and have children of their own, the circle of life is complete. Grandparents really enjoy seeing their offspring suffer under the yoke of children. Grandparents encourage children to ‘mess up’ their parents. 

                Abandonment is another part of growing up. Steve Roggenbuck is on the road a lot of the time. Steve Roggenbuck’s kids, those crazy stupid kids, have no idea where their father goes. Currently his kids don’t even follow their father on twitter, or even tumblr. All Steve Roggenbuck’s kids know is soda needs to be called pop, just like their dad. In one unfortunate accident Steve Roggenbuck’s kids tried to open up their dad like a soda can. Steve Roggenbuck had to go to the emergency room for several hours to re-sew the top half of his head back on. Oh Steve Roggenbuck’s kids, they are seriously deranged yet utterly lovable. 

                Pod-racing comes up. Vegan pod-racing has been gaining a lot of popularity lately. Steve Roggenbuck loves pod-racing. The sport of pod-racing has been catching on lately thanks to celebrity endorsements from such heavyweights like Alan Thicke, Dave Coulier, and Paul Montgomery Shore. Life doesn’t have enough pod-racing in it. Elements of pod-racing are beautiful. Obviously pod-racing is going to be bigger, bigger than football, bigger than Canada. Pod-racing is a slippery slope to ‘bod-racing’ a far more suggestive form of pod-racing. 

                Things from the past are wonderful. Being appreciative of past events is aging. With age comes wisdom. Youth brings idiocy. That’s okay. Aging exists so people can realize how good they had it and how good they can have it. Some ages are ideal for this reflection. Moments in life where it all comes together, where it smells like spring, where the air has been cleaned out by the rain, those are beautiful moments. Cherishing those moments can create a new-found appreciation for life. 

                Steve Roggenbuck creates a beautiful video the whole family can enjoy. Families across the world should gather around the old internet and watch this video. How it manages to inspire those to tear off the ceiling, tear off the roof and soar into the sky is incredible. There is a reason to ‘raise the roof’ at parties. It is because the party goers want to soar into the sky leaving the mundane house music behind. To soar as the eagle soars requires both wings. Anyone can do it. And Steve Roggenbuck is there; ready to lead the way to true enlightenment via flying to the sun.