Beach Sloth

liefplus:

IRL FEST is New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn!!! there will be (1) a Pop Serial reading featuring Steve Roggenbuck, Crispin Best, Mira Gonzalez, Guillaume Morissette, Spencer Madsen, Ashley Opheim, Heiko Julien, and Maggie Lee, hosted by Stephen Tully Dierks; (2) an IRL presentation of the Alt Lit Gossip Awards, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (3) an IRL presentation of the Beachys, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (4) HUGGING. Check out the Facebook event for IRL FEST

                The end of the world requires an immense celebration. Alt lit heard the cry of thousands of people across the world and said ‘Yes we will be together for New Year’s Eve, on the edge of a new dawn’. People from across the globe and the Tri-State area will come together for something very grand: the second annual Alt Lit Gossip Awards and second annual ‘Beachies’. People are beyond excited; they don’t know where to begin. For these awards ceremonies, whose prizes pay nothing like alt lit in general, bring great things to light. Some of alt lit works so danged hard too. It is about time it gets celebrated in whatever way is possible. 

                Many wanted the alt lit gossip awards (or ‘alties’) to be hosted in Chicago, alt lit’s previous capital. While there are plenty of outstanding alt lit writers in Chicago (more than can be counted on one, nay two hands) there is a major problem with Chicago. Chicago blows hence the title ‘the windy city’. This isn’t anybody’s fault. Geography makes it impossible to host such a thing in Chicago. Chicago has been exporting writers. Recently one Stephen Tully Dierks of the ‘Dierks-life’ has migrated over to the beautiful shores of the East Coast, living permanently in New York City. What will Stephen Tully Dierks do in New York City? Well with the help of Stephen Tully Dierks New York City will consume just a little more alcohol and have one more hip twenty-something to call its own. Plus earlier this year New York City gained the ravishing beauty of one Marie Calloway, pickle firmly in mouth (this is not a metaphor, Marie really love pickles apparently). 

                Hence these events celebrate the beauty of more and more writers coming over to the Eastern Shore of the United States. These celebrations bring countable numbers of alt lit writers many of whom are meeting for the first time. For part of the joy of alt lit is bringing people together. On the internet everyone is the same. In that way the internet is the great equalizer. The internet makes everyone equal. It is up to the user to strive for greatness, to give up on real life in exchange for the lucrative internet life. What these awards do is award those willing to improve the internet for better and alter. 

                Who will win an alt lit gossip award? It is hard to say. So many categories, so many contestants, so little time. The Beachies know everybody is a winner in their own special way but only a certain amount of people can be nominated. Who will win a Beachie? The world may never know, at least for a week and a half.

Spencer Madsen

                Recently Spencer Madsen let go the biggest part of him. Nope it isn’t his world renowned infinite depression. The website, SpencerMadsen.com has gone off to that big cloud in the cloud. Yes his site has been repossessed. Many thought Spencer let this go because he is sad and doesn’t care about anything besides sadness. “Just be patient and you’ll die eventually” Spencer’s forthcoming book, shows his continued devotion to sadness. In a world where Spencer lacks a girlfriend his sadness is that girlfriend. When Spencer Madsen goes to sleep he does not sleep alone. Next to him is a beautiful imagined girlfriend named ‘seems bleak’ that appears to be very bleak and very fictional. 

                 In a recent tweet Spencer asked for $100 to renew his website. Unfortunately the $100 never materialized. This is sad. Hope nobody asks “Spencer, you mad son?” about the loss of his website. Millions remember Spencer’s beautiful website. Every night people would dream about the all-encompassing beauty of Spencer’s web presence, from his sad Facebook to his sad Twitter to his sad Tumblr to his happy Pinterest. Yes it all came together into a neat-ass little package online for mere pennies a day. However those pennies had to run out at some point. 

                Where will Spencer Madsen go from here? He keeps people abreast of his daily activities. Sometimes he wonders aloud whether or not he will masturbate like on July 15^th. Spencer Madsen needs to gain up the courage to stroke it. This is particularly troubling. Millions of young, virile Americans jerk it each and every day. It isn’t merely an American thing. Internationally masturbation is recognized the best way to end war. For if everybody decided to jerk it at home and take a nap afterwards 80% of all fighting could be eliminated. 

                Pop Serial has decided to include Spencer Madsen’s work into its world-ass renowned publication. While some remain worried about the artistic direction of Pop Serial most acknowledge that this Pop Serial will be the best. For one Spencer Madsen can use it as a way of properly acknowledging the death of his website, a blow akin to losing one’s job. Stephen Tully Dierks can use Pop Serial as a way of putting his energy into something besides work, as he remains extremely unemployed. Indeed this is a rough year for many members of alt lit. Where will alt lit get money from if not work?

                Can Spencer Madsen ever regain control of his lovely website? Or will it forever display that cryptic message of “Welcome to 37.222.196.19-02!” Spencer Madsen may have deliberately decided such a method might have been ‘on brand’. With no web presence left to lose or even maintain perhaps Spencer Madsen will come up with his greatest artistic statement yet.

Illuminati Power Hour 23

                Halloween comes once a year. Steve Roggenbuck is satanic. Together the two form an unstoppable duo. On Halloween or All Hallows Eve, Steve will run through the neighborhood of America. Upon countless doorsteps will be countless snacks better known as candy. Steve will have more than enough candy for the special once in a year celebration.

                Rents are discussed. Life is expensive. Stephen Tully Dierks lives for cheap. This helps Stephen. Stephen has no job. For anybody with a ‘vacancy’ hire Stephen. He’s a chill bro. He works hard. Check out the Pop Serial Tumblr. That is hard work. Re-blogging things are not easy. Mastery of the re-blogging skill is difficult. How Stephen does it is remarkable. He eats tree branches and the occasional can of soup. Help out Stephen. 

                Jack Gooding returns. The wolf mask is back. Lately Jack has been going to school. Fortunately his major is in being a wolf. To this extent Jack Gooding is doing quite well. People love Jack. Everybody needs Jack. His return is greatly appreciated. Steve laughs whole-heartedly thanks to the power of Jack’s expression-filled mask. Is Jack’s masking the mask of all of the UK? Nobody in the UK has a mask on par with Jack’s eerie silence. 

                Steve remembers the 90s. Robin Williams ruled the 90s. Various bands rocked. Dave Matthews Band, No Scrubs, etc. are all from the late 90s. The 90s were a great time. Back then America was a lot chiller. Presidents got seriously lazy. Everyone was delighted. Then what happened was the ‘EMO’ decade aka the Bush years. Bush ruined everything. Sometimes people wonder why Bush was even allowed to be so unchill and his unchillness got re-elected. Life is bleak. In fact it is so bleak Steve spanks Stephen. Yes they are close. 

                Movie talk takes up a lot of those movies. ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ should have been one movie according to Steve Roggenbuck. What kind of movie would that be? Dinosaurs are a huge part of the 90s. Most childhoods involve dinosaurs. Parents tell their kids about dinosaurs so they seem cute. However the darker side of dinosaurs is to remind children of their own mortality. Every child realizes their time on Earth is limited when they hear dinosaurs have died. 

                Humor is a strange thing. Many fail to understand the Beach Sloth brand of humor. Tongue-in-cheek, bizarre, surreal, oftentimes nonsensical, it tries to warm the hearts of people all across the world. People love this stuff. Another thing people like too is the Twitter thing. What the most popular favorite tweet in the whole world (with 28,000 favorites) is ‘Never Be Afraid’ from the Red Bull Guy. According to Stephen Tully Dierks this is ‘bullshit’. 

                A rare reading happens. Heiko reads his upcoming book in Pop Serial. No one has ever heard this read before. Only Stephen Tully Dierks has seen it. Yet even he, in spite of his extreme coolness, never bothered to ask Heiko to read it. A hoodie holds Heiko together. The chatroom sits silently waiting for him to finish. Upon completion the chat goes wild probably. 

                I appear on cam. Of course no one can see me. I talk slowly. I’m a sloth. Steve Roggenbuck may or may not get a tattoo of me on his face. The contender “Steve Johnny is the Johnny Appleseed of Alt Lit”. Yep that’s a winner. On cam I talk about my kids. My kids are beautiful. I love them. But they can’t pick beets that well. And they can’t tweet that well. No worries though my kids seem chill.

                Stephen Tully Dierks jerks it. Every day he has a box of tissues and moisturizer right in an important part of his room. Masturbation station is where Mr. Dierks gets his ‘jerk on’ via the jerk off lifestyle. People in the chat are happy that Stephen jerks it. When Dierks is not busy understanding experimental literature he jerks off to experimental porn. In experimental porn the view wonders ‘Is this even hot? Does it even matter?’ Thankfully Dierks for all his bro-ness has never been a true bro. 

                Steve Roggenbuck is the D’angelo of alt lit. The chat goes wild. Is Steve Roggenbuck the sex symbol of alt lit? Has Steve Roggenbuck finally surpassed Tao Lin in sexiness? Most indicators state ‘yes’. Everyone thinks yes. Ever since Steve Roggenbuck began his trip across this great-ass country of America people have swooned for him. Does this happen for anonymous blogging bros? No it doesn’t. Few are attracted to anonymous alt lit bros. 

                The Three Keys of Being ‘Truly Alt Lit’

1.       Get mentioned by Beach Sloth

2.       Get an email from Peterbd

3.       Get a butt/other explicit pic from Jacob Steinberg 

This is how alt lit works. After these three main steps nothing else matters. Writing, that’s silly, tweeting, perhaps, but the above three, yeah that’s important as heck. Is this collection ever going to change? Probably not, people seem to enjoy Peterbd’s emails and Jacob Steinberg’s beautiful pieces. Yes Jacob’s new Cityscapes gets read by Alexander Allison is read to bring a beautiful conclusion to the night. And thus it ends with the British alt lit contingent.

livemylief:

Mrs. Doubtfire

After a bitter divorce, an actor disguises himself as a female housekeeper to spend secret time with his children held in custody by his Ex.

                ‘Prose before bros’ a wise man once said. Steve ignores this sound advice. Only poetry exists for Steve. ‘Heather’ is Steve’s single short story. The beauty of nature surrounds Steve as he regales the viewer about Heather. Yeah Steve thinks she is cool. Unfortunately for Steve though she explodes. No reason is given for the bomb. If she is such a cool girl why did someone successfully blow her up? Steve refuses to answer this all important question. Unsolved mysteries involve her acceptance into Heaven. Has Steve seen the afterlife? Is that why he lives life so hard?

                A light is above Steve’s head. That is his halo. That’s how he knew about Heather. In Cincinnati he refuses to go outside. Most people in Cincinnati take that approach as well. Somebody gave Steve an entire abandoned dorm room. Obviously Steve is most at home in a dorm room or college. College students dig Steve’s ‘YOLO’ lifestyle. If there is a place that embodies ‘You Only Live Once’ it is college. Hands down, no contest, and game over it wins. College is the best place for being simultaneously happy and sad. 

                Buddhism is tearing Steve apart. Steve’s dog adheres to a strict Buddhist lifestyle. Every morning Steve wakes up to let his dog out. Indeed Steve is the one who let the dogs out. The Baha Men, after years of searching, have found their answer. Unfortunately not even the mellow jams of the Baha Men can save Steve. Poor Steve is driven mad by his dog. Someday Steve’s dog will find enlightenment. Now though that appears unlikely. In time the dog will first start a twitter handle, then Tumblr, and eventually submit to literary journals. All goes well; the dog has no need to search for meaning in religion. If the dog gets rejected from too many literary journals the cycle begins all over again. 

                By the end Steve Roggenbuck reverts to happy people once more. Spencer Simone urinated on by Steve Roggenbuck. Spencer Simone is exceptionally lucky. There are some ‘sick twisted souls’ who would paypal good money for that opportunity. Yep Steve is appearing in dreams already. One of those dreams had to involve something quite foul. Of course whenever dreams are mentioned Stephen Tully Dierks is nearby. For some reason Stephen wants to unzip his skin. Maybe that is due to the excessive naming going on within his soul. People tend to have two names. Using three names all the time is extremely indulgent. 

                What better way to end it than with Steve’s laughter.

STD: The Stephen Tully Dierks Collection

               Stephen Tully Dierks: where to begin? I call him the glue of the alt lit community. Everything he does is positive. Guess Dierks is the beautiful brooding baby boy of the blogosphere. How do I know this? Look at that freaking face. He’s single? How does this even happen? Life sure is crazy sometimes. 

                Each day Stephen tumbles into Tumblr. Day or night, the tumbling just has to feel right. Recently Pop Serial got a makeover. A few people told Stephen that Pop Serial was too ‘dark’ via black background and white text. Now it has reversed. Some have stated this is due to a sudden positive life change, that Mr. Dierks has finally found true meaning in his life, but I doubt that. I think Stephen just wanted to Pop Serial a little hotter. According to HTML Giant, it was voted the #24^th hottest Litmag. That is an outrage. Pop Serial is really hot. Usually before I read Pop Serial I need to take a really cold shower, before I go out into the cold air of my unheated apartment. Then I warm myself by the glow of my computer screen and the sensual re-blogs of Pop Serial. 

                Is that all? Yeah, you probably think that’s all. You’d be dead freaking wrong! Stephen, in an attempt to expand his web presence (i.e. pick up hot alt lit babes) has created a new, more personal and indeed more intimate Tumblr. This one goes over his tremendous personal output. For you can only do Tumblr boosts for so long, before you got to branch out and leave the re-blog nest. Stephen spread his wings and soared right through that open door. 

                ‘Everything is sad and sad-making’ is a tragic tale about relationships. It has a beautiful, colorful background. On top of that background we get small details, often a single sentence, to form a greater picture about these two people who are in some sort of sad relationship. It reminds me of that line ‘As soon as we are born we start dying’. When the relationship begins in this story, it starts to end. I felt sad that their relationship didn’t work out, felt sad they were close but distant, and most of all, felt sad they were living in Wisconsin. For me it just doesn’t seem right to have that sort of relationship in America’s heartland, like that should be some East elite latte-drinking liberal’s problem. Maybe what Stephen is trying to say is this happens everywhere, that it isn’t unusual but it isn’t uncommon. Dysfunction is universal. All we can do is learn from it and maybe get a little better for next time until one day we can find them. You know your alt missing piece to make you whole. 

                Hope you all find your alt missing piece. I want you all to roll on, to rock on, and to be one. Glad Mr. Dierks reminds all of us about the importance of being human.

I LOVE MUSIC by Steve Roggenbuck and Stephen Tully Dierks

                See that? That’s the cover. If that doesn’t prepare you, nothing will. Well, maybe this will: Steve Roggenbuck and Stephen Tully Dierks are the masters of online word blasters. Perhaps that can drill itself into your noggin. Not sure what else I can say. Clearly the two of them care greatly about each other. Some pictures are worth a thousand words and for me to truly capture their relationship would be pointless. Let’s just say they are poets worth hugging. 

                Both of them are big fans of organized melodic sound better also known as ‘music’. I’m big into music, having dedicated countless hours to listening, reviewing, critiquing, and random party discussions. What this collaboration does is focus on an aspect of music I’m woefully unfamiliar with: that’s right I’m talking about metal.

                I LOVE MUSIC equals metal. The way the book is structured, it’s extremely violent, goofy energy harkens back to a young Steve Roggenbuck. Steve used to be in death metal bands back in the day, which was a long time ago. CDRs of Steve’s work exist somewhere out there, similar to extraterrestrial life except more metal. Aliens I think are more into shoegaze and Post-Rock. 

                The book introduces a different side of Roggenbuck and Stephen. Sure you might be familiar with Steve’s now famous inspirational boosting videos, or Stephen’s rap project with Ana C., but do you really know them? Did you know all the crazy ways they want others to perpetrate violence onto them for nothing more than the sickest of amusement? Online literature is not a joke. Writing stuff online is serious business. I LOVE MUSIC can change everything. 

                Counteracting the extreme goofy violence are evens sillier asides and misspellings. By now you ought to be familiar with their love of the misspelling. Misspelling indicates an expression of one’s individuality. Everybody could spell things properly but why? Wouldn’t that be boring? It is way more fun to look up randomly misspelled Facebook fan pages and become fans. Encouragement of this expression is important as most people would tell you proper spelling and grammar is the only way to be. Throw it back in their faces, misspell everything. Don’t let the spelling bee rule your life simply because you misspelled ‘chocolate’ in the fifth grade spelling bee and have never forgotten the extreme trauma resulting from that interaction. 

                Stephen Tully Dierks has been on something of a ‘writing bender’ lately. He turned 26 this Saturday in a widely publicized fashion befitting of such a shining light of inspiration. Perhaps that reminder of his own mortality convinced Mr. Dierks to pick up the pen, to pick up the laptop, and write like he’s never written before. Besides this collaboration he released the work “Ganga Loners” which may be covered at some point in the near to distant future on this very blog. 

                Learn to enjoy music. Learn to love music. They have. Check it out here.

Pop Serial and NewWaveVomit: Together at last

               Stephen Tully Dierks and Ana Carrete are aware of most, if not all, online poetry happenings. By law they must be. Pop Serial is S T to the D’s baby. NewWaveVomit, Ana C’s testament to ‘anything you need to let out’ used to be a member of the Talking Heads. Growing tired of all the partying, drugs, and literal vomit, NewWaveVomit settled down to focus on poetry over the past year. Eventually NewWaveVomit managed to transform itself into a website and gave control over to Ana after she found a gold ticket in her bar of chocolate. It helps that Ana is an accomplished poet. Go here to learn more about her.

                I eagerly awaited this meeting of the internet poetry powerhouses. Unlike countless other forms of media, I feel there hasn’t been a ‘poetry beef’ before between different parts of the country. By having this reading together Stephen and Ana prevented any ‘drive-by flarfings’ from occurring. They knew how much was not on the line here. Good thing they took the entire reading with seriousness more often associated with playgrounds or high-end bars than actual poetry readings. 

                We got thrown into the middle of things. Several people were walking. The chat watched as Stephen, Steve Roggenbuck, Ana Carrete, and Mike Kitchell along with other people walked around America’s heartland, Chicago, IL. I think other people might have been around. Really I couldn’t tell. Quickly everyone began making plans for pulling out ID cards to show they were ‘of age’ to purchase and consume alcoholic beverages. Steve referred to it as ‘carding hard’. Unfortunately we saw things only from a sideways angle. All I saw from a straightforward angle was a picture of a young Roggenbuck. Finally I can honestly say I’ve seen a picture of an artist as a young man. 

                “Congratulations you’ve arrived” some mysterious voice announced as they arrived at the poetry reading. Then we were treated to some shoegaze as in literally looking at people’s shoes. For an indefinite period of time we heard random conversations. Someone stated “That’s a bad angle. I think some of your viewers are going to get seasick” to which Stephen eloquently replied “Meh” or another equally innocuous response. 

                Ustream did not care for the venue they choose. We knew because of its frequent crashes. Towards the end of the week I tend to feel a bit tired, forlorn, and ready to call it a week. So I can’t be entirely angry at the liberal elitist social media. Perhaps it too got on a few uncomfortable conference calls during the week. It acted a bit too human for me. Negativity began to drag it down.

                A poll came up. Without asking a question, it reaffirmed the positive. The poll didn’t even ask a question. Roggenbuck set up the poll knowing we’d answer ‘yes’ since we are his positive pals. Everyone in the chat knew how important this ustream would be. Never before had all these literary icons come together in the same place in real life. We were extremely excited about this event. So did the audience who clapped and screamed “woo” at Stephen Tully Dierk’s announcement.

                Mike Kitchell (Impossible Mike) came up on stage. Wearing his trademarked white framed glasses (part of his ‘rebranding’ strategy) he began the session forcefully. Each time I heard a slight delay in the ustream recording I thought no. Apparently the technology heard my plea and came back. For me I liked the repetition of the square. The square was my favorite part of the poem. 

                Andrew James Weatherhead continued at great pace reading poems about Astoria, Basketball, and bits from the Economist magazine. Halfway into his own reading, he decided to engage the audience. Suddenly he put down the papers and began to talk. What it did was turn the reading into a conversation. Using this approach, he ruined any chance of hecklers to try and wreak the reading. Instead people began to find poetry a bit more approachable.

                Right as everyone in the room was about to feel that magical charge, the charge you get when you finally understand art, when poets and non-poets come together into a big circle and sing around the campfire, it ended. Steve’s phone battery died. I guess a phone can only handle so much poetry ustreaming before it thinks to itself “This is intense. I better go into sleep mode and contemplate my existence.” That’s what the phone did, I’m absolutely positive. 

                Everything might have been fantastic!

Cut your Hair

               People came from all over the world to see Stephen Tully Dierks get his hair cut on ustream. I hoped for the best. The audience worried a little bit. Most poets have to cut their hair on their own due to financial problems. By having friends cut your hair you save money, money which can be used for food, shelter, and two pairs of jeans. 

                “We will find a Way” by Poncho Peligroso got read by Stephen Tully Dierks. This was posted July 8^th. I consider this the fastest you can get your poetry read. Published in the morning and read late at night is a pretty quick turn-around. Most publishers couldn’t pull this off. Poncho is no ordinary poet; he is the 2011 Poet Laureate for a reason. Stephen began the reading strongly with Poncho’s hot-off-the-presses poem. 

                Steve Roggenbuck focused on Ron Silliman. Ron is a poet who has written twenty books which are part of a total poem called “Ketjak”. This has become his life work. Beginning in the 70s to today his life’s work is massive. You can’t really understand how massive it truly is to have so much material working with itself. I can see why Steve enjoys Ron’s work. The idea of a “Memeplex” where countless ideas are brought to work for one great purpose is something Steve’s mentioned on his blog before. I hope that Steve is able to create his ‘master work’ as he’s on something of a ‘roll’ lately. 

                “I worship Satan” was written by Sam Pink. As Stephen got his hair cut he multi-tasked with reading. Being a Satan worshiper allows you unlimited amounts of free blood. Sam Pink writes positive poetry about imagining his brutal death. Brutal death is funny according to Mr. Pink.  “Frowns Need Friends Too” is the name of his book filled with these life-affirming messages. “Goth Girls make me horny but also make me laugh” summarized my entire time in High School. Part of me still has a certain, near-grudging respect for the Goth subculture. Listening to the poem reminded me of how I used to be, like I was visiting old me. 

                Chicago Neo-Realism came into being as we shifted between watching Stephen’s hair get cut, reading tweets, and learning more about poetry. Due to the reading in the middle of the week it had a laid-back feel. Usually we see a bunch of readers come and go. Going between two of my favorite readers (Steve and Stephen, the Chicago Superhero duo) made me so happy. They were happy enough to record it too. 

                Expansion of the poetry selection helped considerably. Finding poems on Google made the reading much funnier. One poem, called “An Erotic Poem” by Romeo Della Valle came up. Had we not decided to search for new horizons it might have remained hidden. Sharing it with you I refuse to comment on it. Read it aloud and feel the passion Romeo felt for his long lost love. It breaks my heart to picture Romeo alone without his companion. Hopefully Romeo found someone else who shares his passion for life. 

                This ended up being a pretty amazing ustream. Besides doing the usual poetry readings, Steve talked about flarf criticism and criticism of the boykitten movement in general. I liked hearing it from other people’s perspectives. Obviously I’m very interested it this but I always wonder how people react to criticism. Since I’m basically a sloth I don’t really receive much criticism besides being named after a sin. Excluding that, I got nothing. We’re lucky though. Both members of the ustream plan on revolutionizing poetry for a long time. Just keep in mind that age old advice when people try to bring you down:

                Live your lief!

Stephen Tully Dierks

               Stephen Tully Dierks appears on the internet with alarming frequency. In fact, he’s been known to roam around this very blog, commenting with near-abandon. Along with Steve Roggenbuck, he forms the dynamic heroic duo known as the “Steve-Team” where they fight crime in the Chicago metropolitan area. Together they work to bring literature to the internet. Besides this, they show the internet how it itself is a form of literature, with varying degrees of belief and disbelief being displayed by those fortunate enough to live in the internet (such as myself). Flarf is one of many examples. 

                “Pop Serial” is an art/literary magazine edited by Mr. Dierks. With Pop Serial, Stephen manages to bring together the written and online literary world into a single magazine. Oddly, not many people have tried to bridge that gap. I have nothing but the utmost respect for what Mr. Dierks does so diligently. You can actually go to the Tumblr created on the literary magazine’s behalf. The tumblr serves as a ‘Daily Post’ of online literary happenings. An added bonus is the entire first edition of Pop Serial available for free download.

                This isn’t all Stephen does. Besides his tireless support of others he’s also a writer. On his honestly titled blog “What I like is a book that’s at least a little funny once in while” he has some of his poetry available for the reading pleasure of passers-by. You are treated to a vast array of styles, formats, but they are at least a little funny.

                I’ll start with the most recent one, a poem he read live at the “Cool Dogs” session. “The Death Section” references famous deaths, such as JFK, but also incredibly stupid deaths, such as the embarrassing ‘death by autoerotic asphyxiation’. We alternate between these two scenarios. Laughing at the idiot who killed himself while masturbating is one thing, but getting shot in the back of a limo while in Texas is entirely different. Part of what makes this poem so interesting is how it requires some participation from the reader to figure out who the line references, if anyone. Watch the clip of Stephen as well; he has a good reading voice. 

                “I fell asleep during Winter’s Bone” takes up a controversial stance. Here our young lad Stephen talks about falling asleep during the movie “Winter’s Bone” one of the critical darlings of 2010. “Enter the Void” bored Stephen. The mere presence of the lovely Paz de la Huerta gave him hope. Hope existed strongly enough for Stephen to skip through the movie in the hope that such a beautiful American actress would have a ‘nude scene’. He then moves onto movies where she is nude (The Limits of Control) and finally onto a scathing critique of “Broken Flowers”. Unlike Stephen, I am a huge proponent of Bill Murray doing the exact same thing in every movie. Someday I hope a style of acting is created around Bill Murray of staring dejectedly into a camera for roughly one to two minutes. 

                Everyday Genius published a piece by Stephen called “Serious European Art Film”. The beginning is incredibly, almost farcically bleak. Stephen mocks the slow pacing. In the movie the main character is called Sven. Sven contemplates his dreadful life. We’re reminded it is just a film with Stephen fidgeting in his seat. Once the movie is over we’re brought back down to reality through a stereotypical text message. After all that despair on screen we’re reminded just how mundane and comfortable our lives really are. 

                Stephen is prolific. Hopefully he continues to encourage others through his literary magazine “Pop Serial”. Thankfully we’re guaranteed to continue seeing him on ustreams.  

Ustream Team

                Cupcakes introduced the poetry reading. If you ever want to attract people to a reading, free food is usually a solid choice. Art exhibits are made better, freer, and more enjoyable with food offered. Unfortunately, I was online and unable to eat any of their food. Those there got some delicious baked goods. For those online, we had to make our own dinner and drink our own beers.

                “Dead Poets Society” got a shout-out. It makes sense for the Internet Poetry Society (aka BoyKittens) to read this out online. Steve Roggenbuck had part of it posted in real life as a form of inspiration. Robin Williams is an inspirational figure. His hairy arms make me feel better about myself. Unlike Robin Williams, I don’t need to shave my arms on a daily basis. 

                A few new faces were introduced. Cassandra Nguyen read Blake West on his tumblr. In fact, this was the second time this weekend I saw Cassandra, the first was the night prior at Ms. Troyan’s lovely abode. Since I had once encouraged her to meet Steve Roggenbuck, I feel that I helped push along this great meeting of the minds. 

                “Eat when you feel Sad” by Zachary German got some attention. Balloons got a lot of attention as well. As Brett Gallagher’s reading progressed of Richard Chiem’s work, they constantly tried to derail the proceeding. Richard Chiem was even there in the chat room, showing off his IPOD music skills.  It felt avant-garde. Constantly the reader tried to focus on the poetry but broke down into laughter. For other readings, Brett appeared to be treated as the “straight man” as they played volley ball with the balloons.

                The performance between Stephen Tully Dierks and Cassandra Nguyen went fantastic. Each one read a line. Slowly the action became hotter and hotter. A twist completely changed it up. Obviously energy drinks were put to good use for this performance. Perhaps it wasn’t the inappropriate amount of caffeine they consumed. Instead, it might have been the rowdy celebration of their cat’s birthday. Sunday, May 2^nd marked the celebration of their cat’s birth. 

                Poncho Peligroso (better known as the 2011 Poet Laureate) had one of his poems read during the broadcast. House plants were viciously tormented and abused during this time. I cried a little inside. Gardening happens to be a hobby of mine. So hearing about emotionally abused plants proved to be rather heavy for a Sunday evening. Thankfully, the ending of the poem made it worth everything. 

                Beach Sloth got read on ustream which was infinitely excellent. Cassandra Nguyen read my Lookbook post which felt great. Never before has anyone read one of my posts online before. In fact, I rarely even read them aloud in person. Hearing it read tempted me to do a potential PodCast at some indefinite point in the future. Right now, it is merely a thought. I’m curious to see how my delivery and inflection would change the reader’s perception of what I write. 

                After much coaxing, we got a reading of Brett Gallagher’s work Vessel. Vessel is something Brett has been working on for a while. It takes place in a Fjord in Scandinavia. Two main characters (whose names I can’t begin to spell) interact. Somehow I enjoy it; I like the delivery and the rhythm of it. Saturday night I heard a bit of it but I still wanted more. Brett’s stated it will be published at some point. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later, and I’ll definitely have my eye out for it. 

                Jackson Nieuwland had a great poem. The word ‘fuck’ got used more than I’ve heard from everyone in the entire week. Due to the strong language, it ended up being pretty funny. I try not to curse but fail most of the time. To err is to be human so the celebration of the exclamation point of words always is a bit relieving.  

                Finally the moment everyone was waiting for arrived. Cassandra Nguyen re-activated Facebook. A flood of friends came forth, after several added the incorrect Cassandra Nguyen (myself included, in my defense I only followed other people). Now she’s re-integrated into Facebook life. Things will be better for her, as countless online poets are there to ease her transition. As the UK went to sleep and New Zealand (UK-lite) woke up, one last poem remained.

                Stacey Teague got her poem “New Zealand Dinosaur” read by the collective group of four. The reading got passed off among each other. With each new line read by some with the prefix ‘popcorn’ they read it with as much gusto as you can muster on a Sunday night. 

                When they left, I remembered a New York Times article I read earlier on Sunday. It explained the allure of Soho in the late 70s/early 80s. Art movements are the most passionate in the beginning. They form tight-knit communities. Obviously the Boykittens have no geographic locale, but I feel closer to them, thousands of miles away, than I do with my coworkers. Boykittens have staked claim to their own friendly neighborhood on the internet. I guess it is the welcoming environment which has made itself a favorite bookmark on my browser.

                Have the Boykittens created the late 70s Soho of the internet? What do you think? I know my answer.