Mr. Steinberg goes to Washington
Jacob Steinberg got appointed to a major political office. After Anthony Weiner resigned from office, the Governor of New York needed someone to fill his seat. Looking around on the internet, he noticed a particular poet. Flipping a coin, Jacob ended up being picked over those with less internet presence. But no one can control Jacob and what he does. He fights for the American people, not for the corrupt politicians. With this he began the poetry reading in Washington, DC, our nation’s capital.
Ana (a poet from Argentina) had her material start the spirited reading. It was a rather hot poem. First it focused on cooking, then moved on to more “carnal” interests. Since I stink at cooking I couldn’t relate to that part. The later part felt like a cool summer breeze. Little did I realize the poem’s focus on sexuality would set the mood for this reading.
Carolyn De Carlo read a poem in the vein of her ‘Down’ project. It was written by Cassandra Troyan. The name of the poem was called “Bleed on me” a parody of the song “Lean on me”. For the poem’s content, think of an event which occurs once a month. Add lust to the equation.
“The Aesthetics of Circumcision” kept with the theme of sex. Jae (previously unknown) read this tale of circumcised versus uncircumcised. LetPeoplePoems came up with Carolyn De Carlo. This was a poem by Ras Mashramani. Every single movie she could think of and every offensive scene got followed by the line “masturbated to that”. She created this absurd situation and then finds pleasure in it. It was pretty funny, especially the sheer amount of references.
Jae read about Kaiser, West Virginia. I’m glad she’s going to create an internet presence. Right now she doesn’t have a blog. Hopefully she will join the internet soon. Carolyn will keep us updated as they are close, close friends. Perhaps we might even see her on the poetry project “Down” though I’m not certain.
One of Jacob’s first poems “Your Departure” came up. It is nice to see how artists, poets, etc. start out. This one ended up being a tad bit sad as Jacob missed the joy that person brought. Soon I’ll be leaving New York and I hope to keep the many good people I adore kept up with my day to day life in a new, big city. I hope my love can transcend towns, counties, and even states. To continue with the ‘where they are now’ theme we had Grace Marston who read poetry and had a specific skill: she knew Poncho. She talked about how he used to go to concerts and engage in “extreme yo-yoing”. Never before had I been offered a look into Poncho’s soul, a portrait of the young artist as a yo-yoer.
“Your room is like a goodwill disaster right now” Jacob told his friend Mickey. Glad that Jacob is able to keep his wit about him outside of poetry. “Sex in the City”, from an Argentine poem followed in theme of relationships. This one ended being less sexual and more relationship-based then the previous poems.
“Down” came up a lot. Another one of Ras’s poems “My Size Barbie” received much needed attention. Gushers and wine were offered to the husband, along with X-Men towels. Next to the poem was a picture of a Barbie Doll. Really, I fully support and encourage anyone to follow their muse. Among many internet poets, they uniquely picked this explicit work.
Jackson Nieuwland and Carolyn De Carlo wrote poems together. One of them “Jobs” talks about various sexual acts that could be seen as ‘jobs’. Two people, separated by many time zones, were able to come together through the power of words. Other poems mentioned Jackson and described his homeland, talking about how “everything is fantastic” in New Zealand. It mentioned one amazing part of the country: its large hobbit population.
Shaun Gannon arrived wearing a white cardigan sweater. Once he arrived, he drank alcohol out of a jar going all 18th century on us. “Knife Show” showed off Shaun’s parody of the American sales show “Knife Show”. To complete the picture Shaun read it with a ridiculous accent. Each knife ended up being extremely expensive. He offered knifes for finding bears and defeating your nightmares.
Eventually sex came up in full. This was perhaps inevitable. Jacob stripped down to his undergarments. In case this reading was NSFW (not safe for work) before, it was confirmed once we witnessed Jacob’s ‘happy trail’. Glad that Jacob and I have that single thing in common, well, besides the whole ‘New York’ based thing.
Susie Anderson’s poem “Minutes” received a bizarre treatment. First Shaun read his re-translation of it from Jacob’s translation, perhaps to show his expertise with the Spanish language. Next Jacob read it originally from NewWaveVomit (number 162). We only missed the original Spanish delivery.
11:00 PM (East Coast Time Zone) came up. For those unaware, Jordan Castro released a video showing him earnestly trying to rip off his own dick. Hearing Carolyn’s reaction was priceless; I can’t replicate it without using unreasonable amounts of CAPS lock. While unsuccessful at pulling off his own dick, everyone in the chat and at the reading wondered about their own urges. Carolyn wrote a poem about dick pictures as Jacob became sexually aroused by the language. Eventually Carolyn’s poem will posted on ‘Down’. I’d like to say more about Jacob’s actions but I’ll leave it at possibly profane images entered my mind, ones I’ll never be able to forget. The action may jeopardize Jacob’s attempt to become a college professor or ensure it, we’ll have to see.
How did it end? Well, first Jacob Steinberg read about how his “Blog is no longer a safety zone”. Next up came Shaun Gannon (a particular favorite) reading in his patented voice. I hope to meet Shaun at some point; I’m a big supporter of his work. Plus, he enjoys Tristan Tzara, so that’s a big plus. Finally, they gathered into a giant ball and bid us adieu. Look at the photo. Feel the love.