Pop Serial Pre-Gaming
                Put on your party hat and call yourself a donkey because Pop Serial 5 is coming at you! From an Internet far away from you Stephen Tully Dierks has been doing amazing work for a long time. The world of Pop Serial is a yearly one. Once a year Stephen Tully Dierks becomes an Alt Lit Santa Claus and drops serious literature onto the unsuspecting masses of the world. Nobody in the world ever knows what to expect with Pop Serial, except for Beach Sloth obviously. Beach Sloth knows all. 

                This year’s Pop Serial 5 is being given “the weekly treatment”. 2014 has been the year of the weekly treatment on the grand old Beach Sloth blog spot. Honestly Beach Sloth cannot think of a better person to celebrate than Stephen Tully Dierks. Ever since Stephen Tully Dierks moved to New York City, Beach Sloth and he have been as thick as thieves or some shit. Seeing each other across from major readings where an unheard ten to twenty people came out, Stephen Tully Dierks and Beach Sloth both visually process information. 

                Beach Sloth is happy that Stephen Tully Dierks moved to the Big Apple to take a bite out of crime. This happens quite frequently when Stephen Tully Dierks works his night job, fighting crime. What’s different about Stephen Tully Dierks fighting crime in New York City versus Chicago is there are a lot more 24-hour places to get food than Chicago. So Stephen Tully Dierks hasn’t gotten tired as easily and hasn’t fought crime for like half an hour before spending the rest of the night checking Facebook. 

                Pop Serial is perhaps the greatest thing Stephen Tully Dierks has ever done, including his crime-fighting capabilities. While it probably is all great to save cats from trees and let drunk people in Brooklyn know if the L train is running, Stephen Tully Dierks knows he was destined for greater things. Those things come in a variety of shapes and sizes. For the fifth installment of Pop Serial, there are a few rarely seen creatures. Additionally there is a text message that shows how texting is about to become a new celebrated form of literature. 

                All this and more will be revealed in deep-ass coverage beginning next week. People who are not ready, those heads that are not ready, well they better get ready. They better gather the damned family around the laptop and feel the warming glow of its pixelated messages for the whole world to see.

Pop Serial Pre-Gaming

                Put on your party hat and call yourself a donkey because Pop Serial 5 is coming at you! From an Internet far away from you Stephen Tully Dierks has been doing amazing work for a long time. The world of Pop Serial is a yearly one. Once a year Stephen Tully Dierks becomes an Alt Lit Santa Claus and drops serious literature onto the unsuspecting masses of the world. Nobody in the world ever knows what to expect with Pop Serial, except for Beach Sloth obviously. Beach Sloth knows all. 

                This year’s Pop Serial 5 is being given “the weekly treatment”. 2014 has been the year of the weekly treatment on the grand old Beach Sloth blog spot. Honestly Beach Sloth cannot think of a better person to celebrate than Stephen Tully Dierks. Ever since Stephen Tully Dierks moved to New York City, Beach Sloth and he have been as thick as thieves or some shit. Seeing each other across from major readings where an unheard ten to twenty people came out, Stephen Tully Dierks and Beach Sloth both visually process information. 

                Beach Sloth is happy that Stephen Tully Dierks moved to the Big Apple to take a bite out of crime. This happens quite frequently when Stephen Tully Dierks works his night job, fighting crime. What’s different about Stephen Tully Dierks fighting crime in New York City versus Chicago is there are a lot more 24-hour places to get food than Chicago. So Stephen Tully Dierks hasn’t gotten tired as easily and hasn’t fought crime for like half an hour before spending the rest of the night checking Facebook. 

                Pop Serial is perhaps the greatest thing Stephen Tully Dierks has ever done, including his crime-fighting capabilities. While it probably is all great to save cats from trees and let drunk people in Brooklyn know if the L train is running, Stephen Tully Dierks knows he was destined for greater things. Those things come in a variety of shapes and sizes. For the fifth installment of Pop Serial, there are a few rarely seen creatures. Additionally there is a text message that shows how texting is about to become a new celebrated form of literature. 

                All this and more will be revealed in deep-ass coverage beginning next week. People who are not ready, those heads that are not ready, well they better get ready. They better gather the damned family around the laptop and feel the warming glow of its pixelated messages for the whole world to see.

liefplus
liefplus:

IRL FEST is New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn!!! there will be (1) a Pop Serial reading featuring Steve Roggenbuck, Crispin Best, Mira Gonzalez, Guillaume Morissette, Spencer Madsen, Ashley Opheim, Heiko Julien, and Maggie Lee, hosted by Stephen Tully Dierks; (2) an IRL presentation of the Alt Lit Gossip Awards, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (3) an IRL presentation of the Beachys, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (4) HUGGING. Check out the Facebook event for IRL FEST

                The end of the world requires an immense celebration. Alt lit heard the cry of thousands of people across the world and said ‘Yes we will be together for New Year’s Eve, on the edge of a new dawn’. People from across the globe and the Tri-State area will come together for something very grand: the second annual Alt Lit Gossip Awards and second annual ‘Beachies’. People are beyond excited; they don’t know where to begin. For these awards ceremonies, whose prizes pay nothing like alt lit in general, bring great things to light. Some of alt lit works so danged hard too. It is about time it gets celebrated in whatever way is possible. 

                Many wanted the alt lit gossip awards (or ‘alties’) to be hosted in Chicago, alt lit’s previous capital. While there are plenty of outstanding alt lit writers in Chicago (more than can be counted on one, nay two hands) there is a major problem with Chicago. Chicago blows hence the title ‘the windy city’. This isn’t anybody’s fault. Geography makes it impossible to host such a thing in Chicago. Chicago has been exporting writers. Recently one Stephen Tully Dierks of the ‘Dierks-life’ has migrated over to the beautiful shores of the East Coast, living permanently in New York City. What will Stephen Tully Dierks do in New York City? Well with the help of Stephen Tully Dierks New York City will consume just a little more alcohol and have one more hip twenty-something to call its own. Plus earlier this year New York City gained the ravishing beauty of one Marie Calloway, pickle firmly in mouth (this is not a metaphor, Marie really love pickles apparently). 

                Hence these events celebrate the beauty of more and more writers coming over to the Eastern Shore of the United States. These celebrations bring countable numbers of alt lit writers many of whom are meeting for the first time. For part of the joy of alt lit is bringing people together. On the internet everyone is the same. In that way the internet is the great equalizer. The internet makes everyone equal. It is up to the user to strive for greatness, to give up on real life in exchange for the lucrative internet life. What these awards do is award those willing to improve the internet for better and alter. 

                Who will win an alt lit gossip award? It is hard to say. So many categories, so many contestants, so little time. The Beachies know everybody is a winner in their own special way but only a certain amount of people can be nominated. Who will win a Beachie? The world may never know, at least for a week and a half.

liefplus:

IRL FEST is New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn!!! there will be (1) a Pop Serial reading featuring Steve Roggenbuck, Crispin Best, Mira Gonzalez, Guillaume Morissette, Spencer Madsen, Ashley Opheim, Heiko Julien, and Maggie Lee, hosted by Stephen Tully Dierks; (2) an IRL presentation of the Alt Lit Gossip Awards, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (3) an IRL presentation of the Beachys, hosted by Steve Roggenbuck; (4) HUGGING. Check out the Facebook event for IRL FEST

                The end of the world requires an immense celebration. Alt lit heard the cry of thousands of people across the world and said ‘Yes we will be together for New Year’s Eve, on the edge of a new dawn’. People from across the globe and the Tri-State area will come together for something very grand: the second annual Alt Lit Gossip Awards and second annual ‘Beachies’. People are beyond excited; they don’t know where to begin. For these awards ceremonies, whose prizes pay nothing like alt lit in general, bring great things to light. Some of alt lit works so danged hard too. It is about time it gets celebrated in whatever way is possible. 

                Many wanted the alt lit gossip awards (or ‘alties’) to be hosted in Chicago, alt lit’s previous capital. While there are plenty of outstanding alt lit writers in Chicago (more than can be counted on one, nay two hands) there is a major problem with Chicago. Chicago blows hence the title ‘the windy city’. This isn’t anybody’s fault. Geography makes it impossible to host such a thing in Chicago. Chicago has been exporting writers. Recently one Stephen Tully Dierks of the ‘Dierks-life’ has migrated over to the beautiful shores of the East Coast, living permanently in New York City. What will Stephen Tully Dierks do in New York City? Well with the help of Stephen Tully Dierks New York City will consume just a little more alcohol and have one more hip twenty-something to call its own. Plus earlier this year New York City gained the ravishing beauty of one Marie Calloway, pickle firmly in mouth (this is not a metaphor, Marie really love pickles apparently). 

                Hence these events celebrate the beauty of more and more writers coming over to the Eastern Shore of the United States. These celebrations bring countable numbers of alt lit writers many of whom are meeting for the first time. For part of the joy of alt lit is bringing people together. On the internet everyone is the same. In that way the internet is the great equalizer. The internet makes everyone equal. It is up to the user to strive for greatness, to give up on real life in exchange for the lucrative internet life. What these awards do is award those willing to improve the internet for better and alter. 

                Who will win an alt lit gossip award? It is hard to say. So many categories, so many contestants, so little time. The Beachies know everybody is a winner in their own special way but only a certain amount of people can be nominated. Who will win a Beachie? The world may never know, at least for a week and a half.



Spencer Madsen


                Recently Spencer Madsen let go the biggest part of him. Nope it isn’t his world renowned infinite depression. The website, SpencerMadsen.com has gone off to that big cloud in the cloud. Yes his site has been repossessed. Many thought Spencer let this go because he is sad and doesn’t care about anything besides sadness. “Just be patient and you’ll die eventually” Spencer’s forthcoming book, shows his continued devotion to sadness. In a world where Spencer lacks a girlfriend his sadness is that girlfriend. When Spencer Madsen goes to sleep he does not sleep alone. Next to him is a beautiful imagined girlfriend named ‘seems bleak’ that appears to be very bleak and very fictional. 

                 In a recent tweet Spencer asked for $100 to renew his website. Unfortunately the $100 never materialized. This is sad. Hope nobody asks “Spencer, you mad son?” about the loss of his website. Millions remember Spencer’s beautiful website. Every night people would dream about the all-encompassing beauty of Spencer’s web presence, from his sad Facebook to his sad Twitter to his sad Tumblr to his happy Pinterest. Yes it all came together into a neat-ass little package online for mere pennies a day. However those pennies had to run out at some point. 

                Where will Spencer Madsen go from here? He keeps people abreast of his daily activities. Sometimes he wonders aloud whether or not he will masturbate like on July 15th. Spencer Madsen needs to gain up the courage to stroke it. This is particularly troubling. Millions of young, virile Americans jerk it each and every day. It isn’t merely an American thing. Internationally masturbation is recognized the best way to end war. For if everybody decided to jerk it at home and take a nap afterwards 80% of all fighting could be eliminated. 

                Pop Serial has decided to include Spencer Madsen’s work into its world-ass renowned publication. While some remain worried about the artistic direction of Pop Serial most acknowledge that this Pop Serial will be the best. For one Spencer Madsen can use it as a way of properly acknowledging the death of his website, a blow akin to losing one’s job. Stephen Tully Dierks can use Pop Serial as a way of putting his energy into something besides work, as he remains extremely unemployed. Indeed this is a rough year for many members of alt lit. Where will alt lit get money from if not work?

                Can Spencer Madsen ever regain control of his lovely website? Or will it forever display that cryptic message of “Welcome to 37.222.196.19-02!” Spencer Madsen may have deliberately decided such a method might have been ‘on brand’. With no web presence left to lose or even maintain perhaps Spencer Madsen will come up with his greatest artistic statement yet.

Spencer Madsen

                Recently Spencer Madsen let go the biggest part of him. Nope it isn’t his world renowned infinite depression. The website, SpencerMadsen.com has gone off to that big cloud in the cloud. Yes his site has been repossessed. Many thought Spencer let this go because he is sad and doesn’t care about anything besides sadness. “Just be patient and you’ll die eventually” Spencer’s forthcoming book, shows his continued devotion to sadness. In a world where Spencer lacks a girlfriend his sadness is that girlfriend. When Spencer Madsen goes to sleep he does not sleep alone. Next to him is a beautiful imagined girlfriend named ‘seems bleak’ that appears to be very bleak and very fictional. 

                 In a recent tweet Spencer asked for $100 to renew his website. Unfortunately the $100 never materialized. This is sad. Hope nobody asks “Spencer, you mad son?” about the loss of his website. Millions remember Spencer’s beautiful website. Every night people would dream about the all-encompassing beauty of Spencer’s web presence, from his sad Facebook to his sad Twitter to his sad Tumblr to his happy Pinterest. Yes it all came together into a neat-ass little package online for mere pennies a day. However those pennies had to run out at some point. 

                Where will Spencer Madsen go from here? He keeps people abreast of his daily activities. Sometimes he wonders aloud whether or not he will masturbate like on July 15th. Spencer Madsen needs to gain up the courage to stroke it. This is particularly troubling. Millions of young, virile Americans jerk it each and every day. It isn’t merely an American thing. Internationally masturbation is recognized the best way to end war. For if everybody decided to jerk it at home and take a nap afterwards 80% of all fighting could be eliminated. 

                Pop Serial has decided to include Spencer Madsen’s work into its world-ass renowned publication. While some remain worried about the artistic direction of Pop Serial most acknowledge that this Pop Serial will be the best. For one Spencer Madsen can use it as a way of properly acknowledging the death of his website, a blow akin to losing one’s job. Stephen Tully Dierks can use Pop Serial as a way of putting his energy into something besides work, as he remains extremely unemployed. Indeed this is a rough year for many members of alt lit. Where will alt lit get money from if not work?

                Can Spencer Madsen ever regain control of his lovely website? Or will it forever display that cryptic message of “Welcome to 37.222.196.19-02!” Spencer Madsen may have deliberately decided such a method might have been ‘on brand’. With no web presence left to lose or even maintain perhaps Spencer Madsen will come up with his greatest artistic statement yet.

Muumuu House - Meta Knight



                One Postitbreakup, a fine internet lad, bequeathed to me the title of ‘Alt Lit’s Guardian Angel’. I promise to uphold the key principles of alt lit in my new position. He sent me a Tweet about the recent ‘Meta Knight/Muumuu House/Alt Lit Gossip controversy’. To reply with a 140 character explanation seems outright foolish. No tweet sized text can accurately capture the thrill and drama alongside this highly complicated course of events. Every key outlet of alt lit was involved: Meta Knight, Muumuu House, Tao Lin, crown prince of alt lit and ultimately the New York Times of alt lit, alt lit gossip.

                Meta Knight is an up and coming player in the alt lit scene. Recently he tweeted that Muumuu House was publishing his short story collection ‘School’. This created a veritable discussion thread the likes of which have never been seen on the ‘Alt Lit Gossip’ group page. Many congratulated Meta Knight for this accomplishment he did not accomplish. It was a lie. An inside joke that Meta Knight took to the outside via ‘Twitter’.

                Seeing the potentially ‘huge’ amount of clout surrounding the news, Meta Knight emailed Tao Lin about this development. Tao politely declines the invitation to publish said short story collection ‘School’. Meta Knight is informed his chances of being published in Muumuu House are less than 0%, indicating a negative level of interest in publishing. Meta Knight, true to his word of shaking things up, promises to email Tao Lin in 2014, after which Tao Lin will be enormously rich and successful probably. 

                People express dissatisfaction at this level of ‘fooling around’. Muumuu House is a serious endeavor. It serves as a way for Tao Lin to publish works that interest him. The way it works is Tao publishes things from people he likes and feels he doesn’t owe anything to. Pressure is a bad thing for a publishing house to run under. Unfortunately many do just that, soliciting submissions and ‘smacking down’ the respondents. Rejections are a natural part of any zine/publishing house/etc. For this very reason I can promise one thing: Beach Sloth will NEVER create an independent zine, lit journal, etc. Having to make that sort of judgment call would break my little heart. I want to support everybody. Rejection is something I just don’t do. So these ‘solicitations’ that Muumuu House, Pop Serial, and others engage in show a way of avoiding this level of disappointment by selecting a specific few. 

                Of course Alt Lit Gossip was discouraged by this ruse. Meta Knight published a piece on Alt Lit Gossip that was promptly removed. The piece stated that Meta Knight’s piece was definitely not going to be published. Alt Lit Gossip understandably might have been somewhat upset for having fallen victim to this literary hoax. However it is hoped by me and others that the rift between Meta Knight and Alt Lit Gossip will be repaired, bridged, and hugged (for good measure).

                How does this effect anything going on in alt lit? It shows to some degree how news can ‘go viral’ when a particularly large name (Muumuu House) is thrown in with a smaller, lesser known writer. Overall it shows the extreme level of what a tight-knit community looks like. Judging by Tao Lin’s response, Meta Knight’s behavior, and Alt Lit’s forgiveness, all appears to be well within the alt lit community. And this is a good thing. Perhaps this model can be used for future promotional material. Only time will tell.

Muumuu House - Meta Knight

                One Postitbreakup, a fine internet lad, bequeathed to me the title of ‘Alt Lit’s Guardian Angel’. I promise to uphold the key principles of alt lit in my new position. He sent me a Tweet about the recent ‘Meta Knight/Muumuu House/Alt Lit Gossip controversy’. To reply with a 140 character explanation seems outright foolish. No tweet sized text can accurately capture the thrill and drama alongside this highly complicated course of events. Every key outlet of alt lit was involved: Meta Knight, Muumuu House, Tao Lin, crown prince of alt lit and ultimately the New York Times of alt lit, alt lit gossip.

                Meta Knight is an up and coming player in the alt lit scene. Recently he tweeted that Muumuu House was publishing his short story collection ‘School’. This created a veritable discussion thread the likes of which have never been seen on the ‘Alt Lit Gossip’ group page. Many congratulated Meta Knight for this accomplishment he did not accomplish. It was a lie. An inside joke that Meta Knight took to the outside via ‘Twitter’.

                Seeing the potentially ‘huge’ amount of clout surrounding the news, Meta Knight emailed Tao Lin about this development. Tao politely declines the invitation to publish said short story collection ‘School’. Meta Knight is informed his chances of being published in Muumuu House are less than 0%, indicating a negative level of interest in publishing. Meta Knight, true to his word of shaking things up, promises to email Tao Lin in 2014, after which Tao Lin will be enormously rich and successful probably. 

                People express dissatisfaction at this level of ‘fooling around’. Muumuu House is a serious endeavor. It serves as a way for Tao Lin to publish works that interest him. The way it works is Tao publishes things from people he likes and feels he doesn’t owe anything to. Pressure is a bad thing for a publishing house to run under. Unfortunately many do just that, soliciting submissions and ‘smacking down’ the respondents. Rejections are a natural part of any zine/publishing house/etc. For this very reason I can promise one thing: Beach Sloth will NEVER create an independent zine, lit journal, etc. Having to make that sort of judgment call would break my little heart. I want to support everybody. Rejection is something I just don’t do. So these ‘solicitations’ that Muumuu House, Pop Serial, and others engage in show a way of avoiding this level of disappointment by selecting a specific few. 

                Of course Alt Lit Gossip was discouraged by this ruse. Meta Knight published a piece on Alt Lit Gossip that was promptly removed. The piece stated that Meta Knight’s piece was definitely not going to be published. Alt Lit Gossip understandably might have been somewhat upset for having fallen victim to this literary hoax. However it is hoped by me and others that the rift between Meta Knight and Alt Lit Gossip will be repaired, bridged, and hugged (for good measure).

                How does this effect anything going on in alt lit? It shows to some degree how news can ‘go viral’ when a particularly large name (Muumuu House) is thrown in with a smaller, lesser known writer. Overall it shows the extreme level of what a tight-knit community looks like. Judging by Tao Lin’s response, Meta Knight’s behavior, and Alt Lit’s forgiveness, all appears to be well within the alt lit community. And this is a good thing. Perhaps this model can be used for future promotional material. Only time will tell.

STD: The Stephen Tully Dierks Collection

               Stephen Tully Dierks: where to begin? I call him the glue of the alt lit community. Everything he does is positive. Guess Dierks is the beautiful brooding baby boy of the blogosphere. How do I know this? Look at that freaking face. He’s single? How does this even happen? Life sure is crazy sometimes. 

                Each day Stephen tumbles into Tumblr. Day or night, the tumbling just has to feel right. Recently Pop Serial got a makeover. A few people told Stephen that Pop Serial was too ‘dark’ via black background and white text. Now it has reversed. Some have stated this is due to a sudden positive life change, that Mr. Dierks has finally found true meaning in his life, but I doubt that. I think Stephen just wanted to Pop Serial a little hotter. According to HTML Giant, it was voted the #24th hottest Litmag. That is an outrage. Pop Serial is really hot. Usually before I read Pop Serial I need to take a really cold shower, before I go out into the cold air of my unheated apartment. Then I warm myself by the glow of my computer screen and the sensual re-blogs of Pop Serial. 

                Is that all? Yeah, you probably think that’s all. You’d be dead freaking wrong! Stephen, in an attempt to expand his web presence (i.e. pick up hot alt lit babes) has created a new, more personal and indeed more intimate Tumblr. This one goes over his tremendous personal output. For you can only do Tumblr boosts for so long, before you got to branch out and leave the re-blog nest. Stephen spread his wings and soared right through that open door. 

                ‘Everything is sad and sad-making’ is a tragic tale about relationships. It has a beautiful, colorful background. On top of that background we get small details, often a single sentence, to form a greater picture about these two people who are in some sort of sad relationship. It reminds me of that line ‘As soon as we are born we start dying’. When the relationship begins in this story, it starts to end. I felt sad that their relationship didn’t work out, felt sad they were close but distant, and most of all, felt sad they were living in Wisconsin. For me it just doesn’t seem right to have that sort of relationship in America’s heartland, like that should be some East elite latte-drinking liberal’s problem. Maybe what Stephen is trying to say is this happens everywhere, that it isn’t unusual but it isn’t uncommon. Dysfunction is universal. All we can do is learn from it and maybe get a little better for next time until one day we can find them. You know your alt missing piece to make you whole. 

                Hope you all find your alt missing piece. I want you all to roll on, to rock on, and to be one. Glad Mr. Dierks reminds all of us about the importance of being human.

STD: The Stephen Tully Dierks Collection

               Stephen Tully Dierks: where to begin? I call him the glue of the alt lit community. Everything he does is positive. Guess Dierks is the beautiful brooding baby boy of the blogosphere. How do I know this? Look at that freaking face. He’s single? How does this even happen? Life sure is crazy sometimes. 

                Each day Stephen tumbles into Tumblr. Day or night, the tumbling just has to feel right. Recently Pop Serial got a makeover. A few people told Stephen that Pop Serial was too ‘dark’ via black background and white text. Now it has reversed. Some have stated this is due to a sudden positive life change, that Mr. Dierks has finally found true meaning in his life, but I doubt that. I think Stephen just wanted to Pop Serial a little hotter. According to HTML Giant, it was voted the #24th hottest Litmag. That is an outrage. Pop Serial is really hot. Usually before I read Pop Serial I need to take a really cold shower, before I go out into the cold air of my unheated apartment. Then I warm myself by the glow of my computer screen and the sensual re-blogs of Pop Serial. 

                Is that all? Yeah, you probably think that’s all. You’d be dead freaking wrong! Stephen, in an attempt to expand his web presence (i.e. pick up hot alt lit babes) has created a new, more personal and indeed more intimate Tumblr. This one goes over his tremendous personal output. For you can only do Tumblr boosts for so long, before you got to branch out and leave the re-blog nest. Stephen spread his wings and soared right through that open door. 

                Everything is sad and sad-making’ is a tragic tale about relationships. It has a beautiful, colorful background. On top of that background we get small details, often a single sentence, to form a greater picture about these two people who are in some sort of sad relationship. It reminds me of that line ‘As soon as we are born we start dying’. When the relationship begins in this story, it starts to end. I felt sad that their relationship didn’t work out, felt sad they were close but distant, and most of all, felt sad they were living in Wisconsin. For me it just doesn’t seem right to have that sort of relationship in America’s heartland, like that should be some East elite latte-drinking liberal’s problem. Maybe what Stephen is trying to say is this happens everywhere, that it isn’t unusual but it isn’t uncommon. Dysfunction is universal. All we can do is learn from it and maybe get a little better for next time until one day we can find them. You know your alt missing piece to make you whole. 

                Hope you all find your alt missing piece. I want you all to roll on, to rock on, and to be one. Glad Mr. Dierks reminds all of us about the importance of being human.

POP SERIAL/AWP CHICAGO HOUSE PARTY

                OMG stop the freaking Blogspots and Tumblrs. This is bloggable news. Yeah, you know the Titanic? How it crashed into an ice burg in the Atlantic in 1912? That is a mere blurb compared to the knowledge I’m about to impart on your unknowing ass. 


                PhiLOLZophy are coming to the Pop Serial AWP Chicago House Party. 


                Now you might be thinking “Who the eff are they?” To which I’d respond “Sit down. I’m about to teach you the ways of the Midwestern Philosophers.”

                Right hand PhiLOL, left hand Zophy, they are the duo of Chrissy Stockton and Sarah Heuer. Together they change lives by blending a love of philosophy with a love of cheap, trashy pop culture. Many people have changed for the better thanks to their pearls of wisdom, dispensed via their website, Facebook fan page, and twitter. Fans love them. I’m okay having fewer fans on my Facebook fan page, but if you want to join, be my guest.

                I’m thankful, so thankful for these two. When nobody read my blog, when I was just a pimple on the ass of blogspot, they read and cared. Both of them reached out to me. Starting out as a little confused blogger in a big sea, I didn’t know who I could trust. Blogging is an extremely competitive, poorly paid job. Just looking into their web-based eyes, hugging them, and reading them, I knew they would help me. Each of them gave me advice, told me to start a Tumblr, to tweet, and eventually to care greatly about whatever I blogged about. 

                To see these two cool cats come to such a prestigious party, to imbibe alcohol in all its forms, makes me wonder: should I go? I like PhiLOLZophy, I like Stephen Tully Dierks, and I like so many people there. Rarely do I make the journey out to any readings in real life; it is even rarer for me to introduce myself to such great, remarkable people. Megan Boyle, someday I’ll introduce myself to her. I already introduced myself to Mr. Roggenbuck, but Dierks, that cheese-eating Wisconsin native, no, I’ve never met the bro, but I feel a real connection to him via his insanely well-updated Pop Serial Tumblr. 

                Now I need to know: should I stay or should I go? If I stay there will be trouble, but if I go it will be double. If I stay I save money, precious money I need for things like food, shelter, clothing, etc. Plus I don’t live in the Midwest; I live on the East Coast of the United States. Going there is easy for Midwestern based bloggers, but little old me, who barely has a dime to his slothy name? Man that would be a dilly of a pickle indeed. But going would be following my dreams. Already Sarah has advised me to go ‘IRL’ as the parlance goes. So has the famous Cassandra Nguyen. Even Stephen has created a mantra ‘Beachy IRL 2k12’ which I’m assuming refers to me and not another beach-based blog form. 

                So I’m conflicted. Stay tuned as I continue to cover more guests to this infinitely prestigious event. Plus, I’ll continue to debate aloud whether or not I’ll be going. To go, simply click here to see all the wonderful people awaiting you on March 3rd, 2012. As a further boost, it is a Saturday. You’re not working. Just go. It will be ustreamed as well.

POP SERIAL/AWP CHICAGO HOUSE PARTY

                OMG stop the freaking Blogspots and Tumblrs. This is bloggable news. Yeah, you know the Titanic? How it crashed into an ice burg in the Atlantic in 1912? That is a mere blurb compared to the knowledge I’m about to impart on your unknowing ass. 

                PhiLOLZophy are coming to the Pop Serial AWP Chicago House Party. 

                Now you might be thinking “Who the eff are they?” To which I’d respond “Sit down. I’m about to teach you the ways of the Midwestern Philosophers.”

                Right hand PhiLOL, left hand Zophy, they are the duo of Chrissy Stockton and Sarah Heuer. Together they change lives by blending a love of philosophy with a love of cheap, trashy pop culture. Many people have changed for the better thanks to their pearls of wisdom, dispensed via their website, Facebook fan page, and twitter. Fans love them. I’m okay having fewer fans on my Facebook fan page, but if you want to join, be my guest.

                I’m thankful, so thankful for these two. When nobody read my blog, when I was just a pimple on the ass of blogspot, they read and cared. Both of them reached out to me. Starting out as a little confused blogger in a big sea, I didn’t know who I could trust. Blogging is an extremely competitive, poorly paid job. Just looking into their web-based eyes, hugging them, and reading them, I knew they would help me. Each of them gave me advice, told me to start a Tumblr, to tweet, and eventually to care greatly about whatever I blogged about. 

                To see these two cool cats come to such a prestigious party, to imbibe alcohol in all its forms, makes me wonder: should I go? I like PhiLOLZophy, I like Stephen Tully Dierks, and I like so many people there. Rarely do I make the journey out to any readings in real life; it is even rarer for me to introduce myself to such great, remarkable people. Megan Boyle, someday I’ll introduce myself to her. I already introduced myself to Mr. Roggenbuck, but Dierks, that cheese-eating Wisconsin native, no, I’ve never met the bro, but I feel a real connection to him via his insanely well-updated Pop Serial Tumblr

                Now I need to know: should I stay or should I go? If I stay there will be trouble, but if I go it will be double. If I stay I save money, precious money I need for things like food, shelter, clothing, etc. Plus I don’t live in the Midwest; I live on the East Coast of the United States. Going there is easy for Midwestern based bloggers, but little old me, who barely has a dime to his slothy name? Man that would be a dilly of a pickle indeed. But going would be following my dreams. Already Sarah has advised me to go ‘IRL’ as the parlance goes. So has the famous Cassandra Nguyen. Even Stephen has created a mantra ‘Beachy IRL 2k12’ which I’m assuming refers to me and not another beach-based blog form. 

                So I’m conflicted. Stay tuned as I continue to cover more guests to this infinitely prestigious event. Plus, I’ll continue to debate aloud whether or not I’ll be going. To go, simply click here to see all the wonderful people awaiting you on March 3rd, 2012. As a further boost, it is a Saturday. You’re not working. Just go. It will be ustreamed as well.

Pop Serial and NewWaveVomit: Together at last

               Stephen Tully Dierks and Ana Carrete are aware of most, if not all, online poetry happenings. By law they must be. Pop Serial is S T to the D’s baby. NewWaveVomit, Ana C’s testament to ‘anything you need to let out’ used to be a member of the Talking Heads. Growing tired of all the partying, drugs, and literal vomit, NewWaveVomit settled down to focus on poetry over the past year. Eventually NewWaveVomit managed to transform itself into a website and gave control over to Ana after she found a gold ticket in her bar of chocolate. It helps that Ana is an accomplished poet. Go here to learn more about her.

                I eagerly awaited this meeting of the internet poetry powerhouses. Unlike countless other forms of media, I feel there hasn’t been a ‘poetry beef’ before between different parts of the country. By having this reading together Stephen and Ana prevented any ‘drive-by flarfings’ from occurring. They knew how much was not on the line here. Good thing they took the entire reading with seriousness more often associated with playgrounds or high-end bars than actual poetry readings. 

                We got thrown into the middle of things. Several people were walking. The chat watched as Stephen, Steve Roggenbuck, Ana Carrete, and Mike Kitchell along with other people walked around America’s heartland, Chicago, IL. I think other people might have been around. Really I couldn’t tell. Quickly everyone began making plans for pulling out ID cards to show they were ‘of age’ to purchase and consume alcoholic beverages. Steve referred to it as ‘carding hard’. Unfortunately we saw things only from a sideways angle. All I saw from a straightforward angle was a picture of a young Roggenbuck. Finally I can honestly say I’ve seen a picture of an artist as a young man. 

                “Congratulations you’ve arrived” some mysterious voice announced as they arrived at the poetry reading. Then we were treated to some shoegaze as in literally looking at people’s shoes. For an indefinite period of time we heard random conversations. Someone stated “That’s a bad angle. I think some of your viewers are going to get seasick” to which Stephen eloquently replied “Meh” or another equally innocuous response. 

                Ustream did not care for the venue they choose. We knew because of its frequent crashes. Towards the end of the week I tend to feel a bit tired, forlorn, and ready to call it a week. So I can’t be entirely angry at the liberal elitist social media. Perhaps it too got on a few uncomfortable conference calls during the week. It acted a bit too human for me. Negativity began to drag it down.

                A poll came up. Without asking a question, it reaffirmed the positive. The poll didn’t even ask a question. Roggenbuck set up the poll knowing we’d answer ‘yes’ since we are his positive pals. Everyone in the chat knew how important this ustream would be. Never before had all these literary icons come together in the same place in real life. We were extremely excited about this event. So did the audience who clapped and screamed “woo” at Stephen Tully Dierk’s announcement.

                Mike Kitchell (Impossible Mike) came up on stage. Wearing his trademarked white framed glasses (part of his ‘rebranding’ strategy) he began the session forcefully. Each time I heard a slight delay in the ustream recording I thought no. Apparently the technology heard my plea and came back. For me I liked the repetition of the square. The square was my favorite part of the poem. 

                Andrew James Weatherhead continued at great pace reading poems about Astoria, Basketball, and bits from the Economist magazine. Halfway into his own reading, he decided to engage the audience. Suddenly he put down the papers and began to talk. What it did was turn the reading into a conversation. Using this approach, he ruined any chance of hecklers to try and wreak the reading. Instead people began to find poetry a bit more approachable.

                Right as everyone in the room was about to feel that magical charge, the charge you get when you finally understand art, when poets and non-poets come together into a big circle and sing around the campfire, it ended. Steve’s phone battery died. I guess a phone can only handle so much poetry ustreaming before it thinks to itself “This is intense. I better go into sleep mode and contemplate my existence.” That’s what the phone did, I’m absolutely positive. 


                Everything might have been fantastic!

Pop Serial and NewWaveVomit: Together at last

               Stephen Tully Dierks and Ana Carrete are aware of most, if not all, online poetry happenings. By law they must be. Pop Serial is S T to the D’s baby. NewWaveVomit, Ana C’s testament to ‘anything you need to let out’ used to be a member of the Talking Heads. Growing tired of all the partying, drugs, and literal vomit, NewWaveVomit settled down to focus on poetry over the past year. Eventually NewWaveVomit managed to transform itself into a website and gave control over to Ana after she found a gold ticket in her bar of chocolate. It helps that Ana is an accomplished poet. Go here to learn more about her.

                I eagerly awaited this meeting of the internet poetry powerhouses. Unlike countless other forms of media, I feel there hasn’t been a ‘poetry beef’ before between different parts of the country. By having this reading together Stephen and Ana prevented any ‘drive-by flarfings’ from occurring. They knew how much was not on the line here. Good thing they took the entire reading with seriousness more often associated with playgrounds or high-end bars than actual poetry readings. 

                We got thrown into the middle of things. Several people were walking. The chat watched as Stephen, Steve Roggenbuck, Ana Carrete, and Mike Kitchell along with other people walked around America’s heartland, Chicago, IL. I think other people might have been around. Really I couldn’t tell. Quickly everyone began making plans for pulling out ID cards to show they were ‘of age’ to purchase and consume alcoholic beverages. Steve referred to it as ‘carding hard’. Unfortunately we saw things only from a sideways angle. All I saw from a straightforward angle was a picture of a young Roggenbuck. Finally I can honestly say I’ve seen a picture of an artist as a young man. 

                “Congratulations you’ve arrived” some mysterious voice announced as they arrived at the poetry reading. Then we were treated to some shoegaze as in literally looking at people’s shoes. For an indefinite period of time we heard random conversations. Someone stated “That’s a bad angle. I think some of your viewers are going to get seasick” to which Stephen eloquently replied “Meh” or another equally innocuous response. 

                Ustream did not care for the venue they choose. We knew because of its frequent crashes. Towards the end of the week I tend to feel a bit tired, forlorn, and ready to call it a week. So I can’t be entirely angry at the liberal elitist social media. Perhaps it too got on a few uncomfortable conference calls during the week. It acted a bit too human for me. Negativity began to drag it down.

                A poll came up. Without asking a question, it reaffirmed the positive. The poll didn’t even ask a question. Roggenbuck set up the poll knowing we’d answer ‘yes’ since we are his positive pals. Everyone in the chat knew how important this ustream would be. Never before had all these literary icons come together in the same place in real life. We were extremely excited about this event. So did the audience who clapped and screamed “woo” at Stephen Tully Dierk’s announcement.

                Mike Kitchell (Impossible Mike) came up on stage. Wearing his trademarked white framed glasses (part of his ‘rebranding’ strategy) he began the session forcefully. Each time I heard a slight delay in the ustream recording I thought no. Apparently the technology heard my plea and came back. For me I liked the repetition of the square. The square was my favorite part of the poem. 

                Andrew James Weatherhead continued at great pace reading poems about Astoria, Basketball, and bits from the Economist magazine. Halfway into his own reading, he decided to engage the audience. Suddenly he put down the papers and began to talk. What it did was turn the reading into a conversation. Using this approach, he ruined any chance of hecklers to try and wreak the reading. Instead people began to find poetry a bit more approachable.

                Right as everyone in the room was about to feel that magical charge, the charge you get when you finally understand art, when poets and non-poets come together into a big circle and sing around the campfire, it ended. Steve’s phone battery died. I guess a phone can only handle so much poetry ustreaming before it thinks to itself “This is intense. I better go into sleep mode and contemplate my existence.” That’s what the phone did, I’m absolutely positive. 

                Everything might have been fantastic!

Stephen Tully Dierks

               Stephen Tully Dierks appears on the internet with alarming frequency. In fact, he’s been known to roam around this very blog, commenting with near-abandon. Along with Steve Roggenbuck, he forms the dynamic heroic duo known as the “Steve-Team” where they fight crime in the Chicago metropolitan area. Together they work to bring literature to the internet. Besides this, they show the internet how it itself is a form of literature, with varying degrees of belief and disbelief being displayed by those fortunate enough to live in the internet (such as myself). Flarf is one of many examples. 

                “Pop Serial” is an art/literary magazine edited by Mr. Dierks. With Pop Serial, Stephen manages to bring together the written and online literary world into a single magazine. Oddly, not many people have tried to bridge that gap. I have nothing but the utmost respect for what Mr. Dierks does so diligently. You can actually go to the Tumblr created on the literary magazine’s behalf. The tumblr serves as a ‘Daily Post’ of online literary happenings. An added bonus is the entire first edition of Pop Serial available for free download.

                This isn’t all Stephen does. Besides his tireless support of others he’s also a writer. On his honestly titled blog “What I like is a book that’s at least a little funny once in while” he has some of his poetry available for the reading pleasure of passers-by. You are treated to a vast array of styles, formats, but they are at least a little funny.

                I’ll start with the most recent one, a poem he read live at the “Cool Dogs” session. “The Death Section” references famous deaths, such as JFK, but also incredibly stupid deaths, such as the embarrassing ‘death by autoerotic asphyxiation’. We alternate between these two scenarios. Laughing at the idiot who killed himself while masturbating is one thing, but getting shot in the back of a limo while in Texas is entirely different. Part of what makes this poem so interesting is how it requires some participation from the reader to figure out who the line references, if anyone. Watch the clip of Stephen as well; he has a good reading voice. 

                “I fell asleep during Winter’s Bone” takes up a controversial stance. Here our young lad Stephen talks about falling asleep during the movie “Winter’s Bone” one of the critical darlings of 2010. “Enter the Void” bored Stephen. The mere presence of the lovely Paz de la Huerta gave him hope. Hope existed strongly enough for Stephen to skip through the movie in the hope that such a beautiful American actress would have a ‘nude scene’. He then moves onto movies where she is nude (The Limits of Control) and finally onto a scathing critique of “Broken Flowers”. Unlike Stephen, I am a huge proponent of Bill Murray doing the exact same thing in every movie. Someday I hope a style of acting is created around Bill Murray of staring dejectedly into a camera for roughly one to two minutes. 

                Everyday Genius published a piece by Stephen called “Serious European Art Film”. The beginning is incredibly, almost farcically bleak. Stephen mocks the slow pacing. In the movie the main character is called Sven. Sven contemplates his dreadful life. We’re reminded it is just a film with Stephen fidgeting in his seat. Once the movie is over we’re brought back down to reality through a stereotypical text message. After all that despair on screen we’re reminded just how mundane and comfortable our lives really are. 

                Stephen is prolific. Hopefully he continues to encourage others through his literary magazine “Pop Serial”. Thankfully we’re guaranteed to continue seeing him on ustreams.  

Stephen Tully Dierks

               Stephen Tully Dierks appears on the internet with alarming frequency. In fact, he’s been known to roam around this very blog, commenting with near-abandon. Along with Steve Roggenbuck, he forms the dynamic heroic duo known as the “Steve-Team” where they fight crime in the Chicago metropolitan area. Together they work to bring literature to the internet. Besides this, they show the internet how it itself is a form of literature, with varying degrees of belief and disbelief being displayed by those fortunate enough to live in the internet (such as myself). Flarf is one of many examples. 

                Pop Serial” is an art/literary magazine edited by Mr. Dierks. With Pop Serial, Stephen manages to bring together the written and online literary world into a single magazine. Oddly, not many people have tried to bridge that gap. I have nothing but the utmost respect for what Mr. Dierks does so diligently. You can actually go to the Tumblr created on the literary magazine’s behalf. The tumblr serves as a ‘Daily Post’ of online literary happenings. An added bonus is the entire first edition of Pop Serial available for free download.

                This isn’t all Stephen does. Besides his tireless support of others he’s also a writer. On his honestly titled blog “What I like is a book that’s at least a little funny once in while” he has some of his poetry available for the reading pleasure of passers-by. You are treated to a vast array of styles, formats, but they are at least a little funny.

                I’ll start with the most recent one, a poem he read live at the “Cool Dogs” session. “The Death Section” references famous deaths, such as JFK, but also incredibly stupid deaths, such as the embarrassing ‘death by autoerotic asphyxiation’. We alternate between these two scenarios. Laughing at the idiot who killed himself while masturbating is one thing, but getting shot in the back of a limo while in Texas is entirely different. Part of what makes this poem so interesting is how it requires some participation from the reader to figure out who the line references, if anyone. Watch the clip of Stephen as well; he has a good reading voice. 

                I fell asleep during Winter’s Bone” takes up a controversial stance. Here our young lad Stephen talks about falling asleep during the movie “Winter’s Bone” one of the critical darlings of 2010. “Enter the Void” bored Stephen. The mere presence of the lovely Paz de la Huerta gave him hope. Hope existed strongly enough for Stephen to skip through the movie in the hope that such a beautiful American actress would have a ‘nude scene’. He then moves onto movies where she is nude (The Limits of Control) and finally onto a scathing critique of “Broken Flowers”. Unlike Stephen, I am a huge proponent of Bill Murray doing the exact same thing in every movie. Someday I hope a style of acting is created around Bill Murray of staring dejectedly into a camera for roughly one to two minutes. 

                Everyday Genius published a piece by Stephen called “Serious European Art Film”. The beginning is incredibly, almost farcically bleak. Stephen mocks the slow pacing. In the movie the main character is called Sven. Sven contemplates his dreadful life. We’re reminded it is just a film with Stephen fidgeting in his seat. Once the movie is over we’re brought back down to reality through a stereotypical text message. After all that despair on screen we’re reminded just how mundane and comfortable our lives really are. 

                Stephen is prolific. Hopefully he continues to encourage others through his literary magazine “Pop Serial”. Thankfully we’re guaranteed to continue seeing him on ustreams.  

Ustream: Stephen Tully Dierks and Steve Roggenbuck

             Ustream is a place where you can do lifecasting, or, as Steve Roggenbuck say “Live your Life” but this time on the internet with people watching. Some political events on Ustream get a lot of attention. It is those smaller events that really change the world. Remember the first Velvet Underground concert? You probably don’t, since you’re reading my blog. But you probably are aware that in the first Velvet Underground concert only about 100 people were there, and they all either became musicians, rock critics, or some other part of the great rock n’ roll machine. 

                Sunday, April 17th at 8:00 CST could be easily compared to that first Velvet Underground concert. Everyone in the chat either was a poet a writer or a critic (Am I a critic? I feel I may be considered one). All of us are going onto bigger and better things, but this might be the first time we truly interacted in a meaningful, semi-anonymous way. Keep in mind the cooler things are the ones that don’t always get the most attention. Though small in number, we were strong in spirit. We are boykittens, hear us meow. 

                You could taste the anticipation. Part of the anticipation came from the Ustream’s various technical difficulties. It was interesting staring at Stephen and Steve’s faces showing expressions of disappointment. As Dierks went off in search of a more cooperative computer, I learned a lot about Roggenbuck’s face. Staring at it, the calm polite Midwest accurately depicted in Steve’s eyes, I felt reassured. Everything was going to be okay. This wasn’t going to be an ordinary poetry reading. When Dierks busted back into the room, I knew things were about to get real. 

                Things got very real. I’ve never heard Dierks voice before, but it was a powerful reading voice. A voice like that used to do the morning announcements in High School. You pay attention when that voice reads an excerpt from “Naked Lunch” even if the material strikes you as a bit unsettling. Suck it up. William S Burroughs would’ve messed you up if he had the chance and needed the money. Burroughs was addicted to heroin, so that may have been a common occurrence. 

                Inside their apartment felt strange. MTV, if you’re reading this, perhaps you could do a “Cribs” about the sort of bling online poets have. You can look through their fridge and freezer, gasping at the multitude of vegetarian eating options. As was their wont, they decided to list off all the food they had, as if to show off their ability to cook, a skill I lack completely (excluding microwaving). 

                Roggenbuck did not disappoint with his physicality. I feel Steve is an extremely active person, twisting this way and that. Whenever I see Steve perform a poem, I think of James Chance’s song “Contort Yourself”. Unlike lazy people staring blankly at their computer screens, Steve probably engages in some sort of physical activity while he’s flarfing. See his YouTube videos which teach us the importance of poetry, micro-flarf, gaining twitter followers, and so on.

                Many important questions were asked but not answered in the chat. Questions about David Foster Wallace, popping popcorn (which was shown in vivid detail), Omar De Col, LetPeoplePoems (a poetry site I’m very fond of), Zen Buddhism, writing, ‘A Walk to Remember’, problems with being a teenager in love, Pauly Shore, Live Tweeting of “The Notebook” and others. They were perhaps too numerous to even mention, you had to be there. I was there.

                Allegedly I was “dominating” the chat. I’m not entirely certain if this was true. The poems might have moved me, such as the visceral reading of “So Hawny” which makes you think: if given the chance, would you fuck a jar of peanut butter? Or is such an action kind of nuts? Beauty doesn’t have to be based on physical attraction, it could be textural.

                Watching them, I wanted Cassandra Nguyen to join them. I thought it would be funny to urge both sides to have Cassandra join the reading, despite the fact neither party showed a remote interest in letting that happen. Thankfully they both found it a humorous, bizarre proposition.  Apparently my lewd comments were considered the most successful but they were so of the moment that to republish them would lose the context. Suffice it to say someone mentioned the act of “spooning” with questions arising. 

                Together Stephen and Steve worked together to interact with the chat audience. Usually this is done to a large degree on Ustream. Somehow the couple managed to make it work when conventionally it shouldn’t have worked. Running in and out of the closet, removing footwear, it was a true rush to be there, if only electronically. 

                Pop Serial is a literary magazine run by Stephen Tully Dierks. Steve Roggenbuck is such a multi-faceted creature I’m at a loss of how to describe him, other than awesomeness personified and unleashed onto the internet, creating joyful abandon. I was there to see it all.