The Next Big Thing Series

What is the working title of the book?

                What I’m most proud of is the ongoing ‘Beach Sloth’ Blog. I like how versatile the Blog can be. In a book the words are there without change, addition, or elaboration. That can be extremely scary to make a definitive statement. By blogging I’ve noticed that I can clarify some things, elaborate on them, and better figure out what works best for me.

                The working title of the finished book (at 53,000 words) was ‘Tripping’. I like the title. I’ll keep it. Anybody who is interested in ‘Tripping’ should encourage me. I doubt I’ll be sharing the rough draft yet. The draft is just too rough. The Blog is simple. The Blog gets feedback. I can always add to the Blog. I can’t add to a book. I edit too much for me to ever be happy with a book. Who knows though maybe people will like it? 

Where did the idea come from for the book?

                The Blog stemmed from me hanging out on the beach. I was completely directionless in life. I have more of a purpose now both with the Blog and with life in general. Alt Lit is a huge part of the Blog. I want to support those who don’t receive much attention. I want to make life easier for people. I like helping people.

                For the full book the idea came from traveling and realizing a part of my life was over. It took me a long time to realize that. I wanted to constantly go back in time, to relive my life and maybe handle it better. I know that’s impossible now. I wish I had figured it out earlier. 

What genre does your book fall under?

                My Blog falls under the ‘support’ genre. Maybe it could be self-help? Reading my Blog should help others feel better about their lives. There’s all this wonderful material being created, free of charge, and I want to bring attention to it. Alt Lit is a wonderful thing. More people keep on joining the community for a reason. With more writers there’s a greater diversity of interests, styles, and life experiences. To me that is really fantastic.

                The book would fall under ‘young adult’.  I heard there’s a whole section of the library called ‘young adult’. I want part of the ‘young adult’ pie. Or I could go for elderly due to the demographic shifts worldwide towards rapid aging. 

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

                My Blog might be hard to turn into a movie. I’m uncertain. I have no idea who would play me. I might do that. Why not? I guess if I was going to drop the anonymous thing it would be for a big old pile of money and Hollywood fame.

                The book lends itself fairly well to a movie. The movie would be really digressive I think. I wish I knew more about movies. I know what soundtrack I’d use. It would be a better soundtrack than ‘Garden State’. The soundtrack would be killer. I feel like actually releasing the soundtrack of the movie first. When I watch movies I watch them with subtitles and turn the volume off. ‘Broken Flowers’ is a good movie for that approach. If anybody watches ‘Broken Flowers’ watch it to June of 44’s album ‘Engine Takes to the Water’. It syncs up perfectly with the movie. 

What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

                Beach Sloth is a Blog supporting others.

                The book is someone dealing with the inevitability of adulthood by going on a trip that makes little sense and has little purpose. 

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

                The Blog has taken me almost three years. I’m pretty happy with the manuscript.

                Summarizing or giving the book a specific period is a bit tricky. I wrote some of the scenes years ago (before the blog), trashed it, and kept on coming back to them. The book is a series of earlier drafts. Collecting them and polishing them enough so they’d make sense took a month to fully re-write and put together.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

            The Blog was inspired by supporting others. People need support. Life is too hard.  

I wanted to have a bigger statement than the Blog. Few take blogging seriously. Books though seem to be taken ultra-seriously for reasons I can’t fathom. Yet I still wanted to have a book that I wrote and could perhaps take some pride in, hence ‘Tripping’. 

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

                If anybody needs an introduction to Alt Lit I do a good job summarizing it. I try to keep things simple. My goal is to convey as clearly as possible what the work is trying to do. The purpose of my reviews is to be as simple as possible.

                For the book I feel if people are reaching their late twenties and feel completely doomed about what do with their life then my book might be able to help them. 

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

                The Blog is self-published. That will never change. I like having control over it. 

                I self-published ‘I want to YouTube down the Rivers of America’. I think if I have another book it will not be a chapbook but a full book. I want to have a publisher. 

 

My tagged writers for next Wednesday are:

Neon Glittery, Bianca Shipton, Peterbd, Lucy K Shaw, Stephen Michael McDowell

The Emails Peterbd sent me in October by Peterbd



                Ben Beutel-Gunn is beloved. Smiles like his go on for miles. In the very first email written by Peterbd he expresses nothing but joy for Ben’s general sensibilities. Around this roundtable famous figures discuss their true feelings for Ben. Peterbd found this out through his constant ‘anonymous’ presence both IRL and on the internet. Without telling anybody Peterbd ends up everywhere. Many consider Peterbd to be the best at being anonymous. Other anonymous presences fail in comparison to Peterbd. 

                ‘Meet Ben’ goes over Ben’s temperament. Few realize this but Ben is a sweetheart. This serves him well in modern life. However back in the time of rampant cannibalism people kept on trying to eat his heart, to gain his kindness. Of course they figured ‘Well if I just eat this guy’s heart I’ll be a nice guy. After this no more cannibalism for me, I’m quitting cold person.’ Essentially whatever one does to Ben he’ll do it back but harder. That’s the sort of guy Ben is. Those who mess with Ben, they are doomed. A world of pain awaits those who fuck with the Ben Beutel-Gunn. 

                Famous Bens can’t beat the original Ben. Ben Franklin is a pile of skanky skank on the kitchen floor. Ben Affleck is even worse having accomplished nothing in his short-ass stupid life. Obviously Ben Stiller has nothing on Ben Beutel-Gunn. Nobody has ever seen Ben Stiller wear a ‘Beach Sloth’ T-shirt. Millions (or at least thousands) have seen Ben Beutel-Gunn wear the T-shirt on many, many occasions to see people play ‘baseball’. Heck Mr. Beutel-Gunn has an ice cream half-dedicated to him. 

                Peterbd discusses Ben’s life. Apparently Ben used to be an average bro. The ordinary can become extraordinary. A meteor makes Ben better than he has ever been before. People adore him. He dates J-Lo for a brief period of time. His brother Sam is jealous. Thanks to Ben’s wonderful superhuman strength he is able to defeat his evil brother and take out the trash. The trash is his brother. His brother is an ass. 

                A song is dedicated to the lovely film star. He’s appeared in multiple films in under a month’s time. This is how Ben rolls. What brings home Ben’s good spirits is how he helps his friend Peterbd out. If people beat up Peterbd and steal his lunch money Ben gets it back. When families go missing Ben lets them chill out at his house. If somebody loses a leg-full of legs, Ben builds them legs. Finally if somebody is feeling blue Ben gives them a hug. That’s the kind of guy Ben is: charming. And that’s the kind of guy Peterbd is: supportive. Put them together and it is the duo of the ages.

The Emails Peterbd sent me in October by Peterbd

                Ben Beutel-Gunn is beloved. Smiles like his go on for miles. In the very first email written by Peterbd he expresses nothing but joy for Ben’s general sensibilities. Around this roundtable famous figures discuss their true feelings for Ben. Peterbd found this out through his constant ‘anonymous’ presence both IRL and on the internet. Without telling anybody Peterbd ends up everywhere. Many consider Peterbd to be the best at being anonymous. Other anonymous presences fail in comparison to Peterbd. 

                ‘Meet Ben’ goes over Ben’s temperament. Few realize this but Ben is a sweetheart. This serves him well in modern life. However back in the time of rampant cannibalism people kept on trying to eat his heart, to gain his kindness. Of course they figured ‘Well if I just eat this guy’s heart I’ll be a nice guy. After this no more cannibalism for me, I’m quitting cold person.’ Essentially whatever one does to Ben he’ll do it back but harder. That’s the sort of guy Ben is. Those who mess with Ben, they are doomed. A world of pain awaits those who fuck with the Ben Beutel-Gunn. 

                Famous Bens can’t beat the original Ben. Ben Franklin is a pile of skanky skank on the kitchen floor. Ben Affleck is even worse having accomplished nothing in his short-ass stupid life. Obviously Ben Stiller has nothing on Ben Beutel-Gunn. Nobody has ever seen Ben Stiller wear a ‘Beach Sloth’ T-shirt. Millions (or at least thousands) have seen Ben Beutel-Gunn wear the T-shirt on many, many occasions to see people play ‘baseball’. Heck Mr. Beutel-Gunn has an ice cream half-dedicated to him. 

                Peterbd discusses Ben’s life. Apparently Ben used to be an average bro. The ordinary can become extraordinary. A meteor makes Ben better than he has ever been before. People adore him. He dates J-Lo for a brief period of time. His brother Sam is jealous. Thanks to Ben’s wonderful superhuman strength he is able to defeat his evil brother and take out the trash. The trash is his brother. His brother is an ass. 

                A song is dedicated to the lovely film star. He’s appeared in multiple films in under a month’s time. This is how Ben rolls. What brings home Ben’s good spirits is how he helps his friend Peterbd out. If people beat up Peterbd and steal his lunch money Ben gets it back. When families go missing Ben lets them chill out at his house. If somebody loses a leg-full of legs, Ben builds them legs. Finally if somebody is feeling blue Ben gives them a hug. That’s the kind of guy Ben is: charming. And that’s the kind of guy Peterbd is: supportive. Put them together and it is the duo of the ages.



Illuminati Power Hour 23


                Halloween comes once a year. Steve Roggenbuck is satanic. Together the two form an unstoppable duo. On Halloween or All Hallows Eve, Steve will run through the neighborhood of America. Upon countless doorsteps will be countless snacks better known as candy. Steve will have more than enough candy for the special once in a year celebration.

                Rents are discussed. Life is expensive. Stephen Tully Dierks lives for cheap. This helps Stephen. Stephen has no job. For anybody with a ‘vacancy’ hire Stephen. He’s a chill bro. He works hard. Check out the Pop Serial Tumblr. That is hard work. Re-blogging things are not easy. Mastery of the re-blogging skill is difficult. How Stephen does it is remarkable. He eats tree branches and the occasional can of soup. Help out Stephen. 

                Jack Gooding returns. The wolf mask is back. Lately Jack has been going to school. Fortunately his major is in being a wolf. To this extent Jack Gooding is doing quite well. People love Jack. Everybody needs Jack. His return is greatly appreciated. Steve laughs whole-heartedly thanks to the power of Jack’s expression-filled mask. Is Jack’s masking the mask of all of the UK? Nobody in the UK has a mask on par with Jack’s eerie silence. 

                Steve remembers the 90s. Robin Williams ruled the 90s. Various bands rocked. Dave Matthews Band, No Scrubs, etc. are all from the late 90s. The 90s were a great time. Back then America was a lot chiller. Presidents got seriously lazy. Everyone was delighted. Then what happened was the ‘EMO’ decade aka the Bush years. Bush ruined everything. Sometimes people wonder why Bush was even allowed to be so unchill and his unchillness got re-elected. Life is bleak. In fact it is so bleak Steve spanks Stephen. Yes they are close. 

                Movie talk takes up a lot of those movies. ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ should have been one movie according to Steve Roggenbuck. What kind of movie would that be? Dinosaurs are a huge part of the 90s. Most childhoods involve dinosaurs. Parents tell their kids about dinosaurs so they seem cute. However the darker side of dinosaurs is to remind children of their own mortality. Every child realizes their time on Earth is limited when they hear dinosaurs have died. 

                Humor is a strange thing. Many fail to understand the Beach Sloth brand of humor. Tongue-in-cheek, bizarre, surreal, oftentimes nonsensical, it tries to warm the hearts of people all across the world. People love this stuff. Another thing people like too is the Twitter thing. What the most popular favorite tweet in the whole world (with 28,000 favorites) is ‘Never Be Afraid’ from the Red Bull Guy. According to Stephen Tully Dierks this is ‘bullshit’. 

                A rare reading happens. Heiko reads his upcoming book in Pop Serial. No one has ever heard this read before. Only Stephen Tully Dierks has seen it. Yet even he, in spite of his extreme coolness, never bothered to ask Heiko to read it. A hoodie holds Heiko together. The chatroom sits silently waiting for him to finish. Upon completion the chat goes wild probably. 

                I appear on cam. Of course no one can see me. I talk slowly. I’m a sloth. Steve Roggenbuck may or may not get a tattoo of me on his face. The contender “Steve Johnny is the Johnny Appleseed of Alt Lit”. Yep that’s a winner. On cam I talk about my kids. My kids are beautiful. I love them. But they can’t pick beets that well. And they can’t tweet that well. No worries though my kids seem chill.

                Stephen Tully Dierks jerks it. Every day he has a box of tissues and moisturizer right in an important part of his room. Masturbation station is where Mr. Dierks gets his ‘jerk on’ via the jerk off lifestyle. People in the chat are happy that Stephen jerks it. When Dierks is not busy understanding experimental literature he jerks off to experimental porn. In experimental porn the view wonders ‘Is this even hot? Does it even matter?’ Thankfully Dierks for all his bro-ness has never been a true bro. 

                Steve Roggenbuck is the D’angelo of alt lit. The chat goes wild. Is Steve Roggenbuck the sex symbol of alt lit? Has Steve Roggenbuck finally surpassed Tao Lin in sexiness? Most indicators state ‘yes’. Everyone thinks yes. Ever since Steve Roggenbuck began his trip across this great-ass country of America people have swooned for him. Does this happen for anonymous blogging bros? No it doesn’t. Few are attracted to anonymous alt lit bros. 

                The Three Keys of Being ‘Truly Alt Lit’
1.       Get mentioned by Beach Sloth
2.       Get an email from Peterbd
3.       Get a butt/other explicit pic from Jacob Steinberg 

This is how alt lit works. After these three main steps nothing else matters. Writing, that’s silly, tweeting, perhaps, but the above three, yeah that’s important as heck. Is this collection ever going to change? Probably not, people seem to enjoy Peterbd’s emails and Jacob Steinberg’s beautiful pieces. Yes Jacob’s new Cityscapes gets read by Alexander Allison is read to bring a beautiful conclusion to the night. And thus it ends with the British alt lit contingent.

Illuminati Power Hour 23

                Halloween comes once a year. Steve Roggenbuck is satanic. Together the two form an unstoppable duo. On Halloween or All Hallows Eve, Steve will run through the neighborhood of America. Upon countless doorsteps will be countless snacks better known as candy. Steve will have more than enough candy for the special once in a year celebration.

                Rents are discussed. Life is expensive. Stephen Tully Dierks lives for cheap. This helps Stephen. Stephen has no job. For anybody with a ‘vacancy’ hire Stephen. He’s a chill bro. He works hard. Check out the Pop Serial Tumblr. That is hard work. Re-blogging things are not easy. Mastery of the re-blogging skill is difficult. How Stephen does it is remarkable. He eats tree branches and the occasional can of soup. Help out Stephen. 

                Jack Gooding returns. The wolf mask is back. Lately Jack has been going to school. Fortunately his major is in being a wolf. To this extent Jack Gooding is doing quite well. People love Jack. Everybody needs Jack. His return is greatly appreciated. Steve laughs whole-heartedly thanks to the power of Jack’s expression-filled mask. Is Jack’s masking the mask of all of the UK? Nobody in the UK has a mask on par with Jack’s eerie silence. 

                Steve remembers the 90s. Robin Williams ruled the 90s. Various bands rocked. Dave Matthews Band, No Scrubs, etc. are all from the late 90s. The 90s were a great time. Back then America was a lot chiller. Presidents got seriously lazy. Everyone was delighted. Then what happened was the ‘EMO’ decade aka the Bush years. Bush ruined everything. Sometimes people wonder why Bush was even allowed to be so unchill and his unchillness got re-elected. Life is bleak. In fact it is so bleak Steve spanks Stephen. Yes they are close. 

                Movie talk takes up a lot of those movies. ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ should have been one movie according to Steve Roggenbuck. What kind of movie would that be? Dinosaurs are a huge part of the 90s. Most childhoods involve dinosaurs. Parents tell their kids about dinosaurs so they seem cute. However the darker side of dinosaurs is to remind children of their own mortality. Every child realizes their time on Earth is limited when they hear dinosaurs have died. 

                Humor is a strange thing. Many fail to understand the Beach Sloth brand of humor. Tongue-in-cheek, bizarre, surreal, oftentimes nonsensical, it tries to warm the hearts of people all across the world. People love this stuff. Another thing people like too is the Twitter thing. What the most popular favorite tweet in the whole world (with 28,000 favorites) is ‘Never Be Afraid’ from the Red Bull Guy. According to Stephen Tully Dierks this is ‘bullshit’. 

                A rare reading happens. Heiko reads his upcoming book in Pop Serial. No one has ever heard this read before. Only Stephen Tully Dierks has seen it. Yet even he, in spite of his extreme coolness, never bothered to ask Heiko to read it. A hoodie holds Heiko together. The chatroom sits silently waiting for him to finish. Upon completion the chat goes wild probably. 

                I appear on cam. Of course no one can see me. I talk slowly. I’m a sloth. Steve Roggenbuck may or may not get a tattoo of me on his face. The contender “Steve Johnny is the Johnny Appleseed of Alt Lit”. Yep that’s a winner. On cam I talk about my kids. My kids are beautiful. I love them. But they can’t pick beets that well. And they can’t tweet that well. No worries though my kids seem chill.

                Stephen Tully Dierks jerks it. Every day he has a box of tissues and moisturizer right in an important part of his room. Masturbation station is where Mr. Dierks gets his ‘jerk on’ via the jerk off lifestyle. People in the chat are happy that Stephen jerks it. When Dierks is not busy understanding experimental literature he jerks off to experimental porn. In experimental porn the view wonders ‘Is this even hot? Does it even matter?’ Thankfully Dierks for all his bro-ness has never been a true bro. 

                Steve Roggenbuck is the D’angelo of alt lit. The chat goes wild. Is Steve Roggenbuck the sex symbol of alt lit? Has Steve Roggenbuck finally surpassed Tao Lin in sexiness? Most indicators state ‘yes’. Everyone thinks yes. Ever since Steve Roggenbuck began his trip across this great-ass country of America people have swooned for him. Does this happen for anonymous blogging bros? No it doesn’t. Few are attracted to anonymous alt lit bros. 

                The Three Keys of Being ‘Truly Alt Lit’

1.       Get mentioned by Beach Sloth

2.       Get an email from Peterbd

3.       Get a butt/other explicit pic from Jacob Steinberg 

This is how alt lit works. After these three main steps nothing else matters. Writing, that’s silly, tweeting, perhaps, but the above three, yeah that’s important as heck. Is this collection ever going to change? Probably not, people seem to enjoy Peterbd’s emails and Jacob Steinberg’s beautiful pieces. Yes Jacob’s new Cityscapes gets read by Alexander Allison is read to bring a beautiful conclusion to the night. And thus it ends with the British alt lit contingent.

I AM ALT LIT



                Jacob Steinberg and Willis Plummer appear on camera. Only Jacob speaks. After Jacob leaves Buttercup introduces the man behind I AM ALT. People sit in amazement as I AM ALT LIT is revealed. Josh Spilker is ‘I AM ALT LIT’. This is going to become a common thing, with this happening on a ‘regular’ basis yet to be determined. 

                Scare quotes are a huge ‘part’ of I AM ALT LIT. The answer Josh Spilker gives is for a level of humorous intention. Long ago in alt lit, before it was alt lit, scare quotes were used on a regular if not overwhelming basis. Generally scare quotes are used for humorous purposes more than any other reason. Currently Josh Spilker lives in Nashville, Tennessee. For those unaware he runs ‘Deckfight Press’ and wrote the short novella ‘Ambient Position Florida’. People’s mouths dropped but this is confirmed only by the chat room, not by visual confirmation. 

                The scores rely on the content. Writers behind the work are not reviewed which is highly unfortunate. Daniel Alexander’s question asks why the 0.0 for ‘Have U Seen My Whale’. Josh’s answer is the sort of thing that will turn heads and forever shake up the alt lit community forever. What the 0.0 entailed was to bring attention to the publication. Thankfully this appeared to work as the Whale received a great detail of attention. 

                100 scores are explored as well. ‘I AM’ is behind the 100 scores. Basically if there is an ‘I AM’ in the title it gets a 100. PeterBD gets a 100 for his work which shouted-out to all sorts of people in the alt lit community. Many love PeterBD. Everybody loves PeterBD. Can anybody even truly know who PeterBD is? Would it shock people to discover that Josh Spilker is also PeterBD? Josh loves the anonymous lifestyle.

                Multiple questions are asked about people being little bitches. Walter Mackey is a small-ish bitch. Walter is an emotional isolationist. Many know this via his ‘de-friending’ lifestyle. Various bitch questions are asked. One question deals with Andrea Coates’ vagina. Different scores are given for Andrea’s vagina, ranging from 7.5, to 8.2 to 13.2. Can anybody truly review someone’s private parts? When will an ‘I AM ALT LIT’ create a scoring system for love between couples? This is highly important. 

                Josh Spilker explains what alt lit means to him. Here he gets into the ‘vegan meat and vegan potatoes’ of alt lit. A certain use of passive voice, the direct description, etc. are all important attributes. Bonus features include what books Josh is interested in, such as Tao Lin, Noah Cicero, Zachary German, and David Foster Wallace. Buttercup and Josh discuss the importance of including new genres into the alt lit umbrella such as sci-fi and fantasy. 

                Apparently ‘I AM ALT LIT’ is a collective on par with GYBE. Buttercup is I AM ALT LIT. Josh is I AM ALT LIT. Others too are members. Jacob Steinberg closes the viewing party by randomly talking to people IRL. The internet does not wait for IRL so IRL kindly waits for it. Of course it ends. And the next week I AM ALT LIT hosts yet one more member of the ALT LIT community, one Frank Hinton for her big reveal.

I AM ALT LIT

                Jacob Steinberg and Willis Plummer appear on camera. Only Jacob speaks. After Jacob leaves Buttercup introduces the man behind I AM ALT. People sit in amazement as I AM ALT LIT is revealed. Josh Spilker is ‘I AM ALT LIT’. This is going to become a common thing, with this happening on a ‘regular’ basis yet to be determined. 

                Scare quotes are a huge ‘part’ of I AM ALT LIT. The answer Josh Spilker gives is for a level of humorous intention. Long ago in alt lit, before it was alt lit, scare quotes were used on a regular if not overwhelming basis. Generally scare quotes are used for humorous purposes more than any other reason. Currently Josh Spilker lives in Nashville, Tennessee. For those unaware he runs ‘Deckfight Press’ and wrote the short novella ‘Ambient Position Florida’. People’s mouths dropped but this is confirmed only by the chat room, not by visual confirmation. 

                The scores rely on the content. Writers behind the work are not reviewed which is highly unfortunate. Daniel Alexander’s question asks why the 0.0 for ‘Have U Seen My Whale’. Josh’s answer is the sort of thing that will turn heads and forever shake up the alt lit community forever. What the 0.0 entailed was to bring attention to the publication. Thankfully this appeared to work as the Whale received a great detail of attention. 

                100 scores are explored as well. ‘I AM’ is behind the 100 scores. Basically if there is an ‘I AM’ in the title it gets a 100. PeterBD gets a 100 for his work which shouted-out to all sorts of people in the alt lit community. Many love PeterBD. Everybody loves PeterBD. Can anybody even truly know who PeterBD is? Would it shock people to discover that Josh Spilker is also PeterBD? Josh loves the anonymous lifestyle.

                Multiple questions are asked about people being little bitches. Walter Mackey is a small-ish bitch. Walter is an emotional isolationist. Many know this via his ‘de-friending’ lifestyle. Various bitch questions are asked. One question deals with Andrea Coates’ vagina. Different scores are given for Andrea’s vagina, ranging from 7.5, to 8.2 to 13.2. Can anybody truly review someone’s private parts? When will an ‘I AM ALT LIT’ create a scoring system for love between couples? This is highly important. 

                Josh Spilker explains what alt lit means to him. Here he gets into the ‘vegan meat and vegan potatoes’ of alt lit. A certain use of passive voice, the direct description, etc. are all important attributes. Bonus features include what books Josh is interested in, such as Tao Lin, Noah Cicero, Zachary German, and David Foster Wallace. Buttercup and Josh discuss the importance of including new genres into the alt lit umbrella such as sci-fi and fantasy. 

                Apparently ‘I AM ALT LIT’ is a collective on par with GYBE. Buttercup is I AM ALT LIT. Josh is I AM ALT LIT. Others too are members. Jacob Steinberg closes the viewing party by randomly talking to people IRL. The internet does not wait for IRL so IRL kindly waits for it. Of course it ends. And the next week I AM ALT LIT hosts yet one more member of the ALT LIT community, one Frank Hinton for her big reveal.

Internet People IRL



                Peterbd may be the best-traveled out of all anonymous online presences. Here’s a person, presumably a seriously chill bro, IRLing it up. Is Peterbd still mysterious as hell? Or is his traveling making his anonymous online presence decrease gradually? As a fellow anonymous bro myself I figure it is tough to balance the two. I figure there is a way to be mysterious while keeping much of my background a super-secret. One thing Peterbd does not keep a secret: the guy loves New Jersey. Honestly I am a fan of New Jersey. The rest of the nation gives it a bad reputation but it is a seriously weird place. 

                The Mount Olive Gang is huge in New Jersey. You want to know who runs the alt lit game in that New Jersey suburb, say hi to them. Nobody else can write in Mount Olive according to the gang. You want to tweet; you want to write a blog and live in the Mount Olive area? Too damn bad, you better go to another zip code. For the Mount Olive Gang has that literature on ‘lock down’ mode. 

                Look at their intense faces. Is that something you want to mess with? I didn’t think so. Peterbd can mess with them because he’s an anonymous online emailing presence. All of them contemplate the many snack choices there are in life. Yes America is a great country for its snacks. There are writers who have dedicated their lives to exploration of the snacking lifestyle. See Daniel Alexander for the Zen of snacking. Figure if Daniel was with them they could have picked out something lickety-split. Combos are a good pick. Every time I bring Combos to a party people hate me for it. By the end of any party everyone applauds my good sense in snack choices. 

                Spencer is young in spirit. Getting involved in alt lit is a good idea particularly now that it is growing at a ridiculous, some say Ludacris speed. The wisdom of Spencer greatly exceeds his years, by about one to two years. He’s working on it. Just like Axel is working on getting someone to share his life with, via the OK Cupid style of writing, alt lit. I have said it before; alt lit brings people together into wonderful relationships. Look at Jackson and Carolyn, Johnny and Ellen, these are beautiful relationships. 

                Cops try to mess with the young gang but they don’t give a hoot or a holler. Nigel throws up gang signs showing his dedication to the alt lit gang life. What does that entail? It means re-tweets, flarfings, readings, sleepings, all the things that make alt lit what it is today. They celebrate victory over the police at a local diner. One of them eats disco fries because they’re getting all retro. According to Todd Terje’s work, disco is back. Norway may be a bit behind the times on modern music but that’s perfectly fine. Any country that simultaneously does metal and jazz in the same band is okay with me. 

                Of course it ends with love for the surroundings. They adore the antique furniture which surrounds them. Peterbd finishes his series of haunting photos with perhaps the most moving one of all, of a man with combos and a 40 of Olde English. Indeed these pioneers discover the true meaning of what alt lit means in the tri-state area.

Internet People IRL

                Peterbd may be the best-traveled out of all anonymous online presences. Here’s a person, presumably a seriously chill bro, IRLing it up. Is Peterbd still mysterious as hell? Or is his traveling making his anonymous online presence decrease gradually? As a fellow anonymous bro myself I figure it is tough to balance the two. I figure there is a way to be mysterious while keeping much of my background a super-secret. One thing Peterbd does not keep a secret: the guy loves New Jersey. Honestly I am a fan of New Jersey. The rest of the nation gives it a bad reputation but it is a seriously weird place. 

                The Mount Olive Gang is huge in New Jersey. You want to know who runs the alt lit game in that New Jersey suburb, say hi to them. Nobody else can write in Mount Olive according to the gang. You want to tweet; you want to write a blog and live in the Mount Olive area? Too damn bad, you better go to another zip code. For the Mount Olive Gang has that literature on ‘lock down’ mode. 

                Look at their intense faces. Is that something you want to mess with? I didn’t think so. Peterbd can mess with them because he’s an anonymous online emailing presence. All of them contemplate the many snack choices there are in life. Yes America is a great country for its snacks. There are writers who have dedicated their lives to exploration of the snacking lifestyle. See Daniel Alexander for the Zen of snacking. Figure if Daniel was with them they could have picked out something lickety-split. Combos are a good pick. Every time I bring Combos to a party people hate me for it. By the end of any party everyone applauds my good sense in snack choices. 

                Spencer is young in spirit. Getting involved in alt lit is a good idea particularly now that it is growing at a ridiculous, some say Ludacris speed. The wisdom of Spencer greatly exceeds his years, by about one to two years. He’s working on it. Just like Axel is working on getting someone to share his life with, via the OK Cupid style of writing, alt lit. I have said it before; alt lit brings people together into wonderful relationships. Look at Jackson and Carolyn, Johnny and Ellen, these are beautiful relationships. 

                Cops try to mess with the young gang but they don’t give a hoot or a holler. Nigel throws up gang signs showing his dedication to the alt lit gang life. What does that entail? It means re-tweets, flarfings, readings, sleepings, all the things that make alt lit what it is today. They celebrate victory over the police at a local diner. One of them eats disco fries because they’re getting all retro. According to Todd Terje’s work, disco is back. Norway may be a bit behind the times on modern music but that’s perfectly fine. Any country that simultaneously does metal and jazz in the same band is okay with me. 

                Of course it ends with love for the surroundings. They adore the antique furniture which surrounds them. Peterbd finishes his series of haunting photos with perhaps the most moving one of all, of a man with combos and a 40 of Olde English. Indeed these pioneers discover the true meaning of what alt lit means in the tri-state area.

My first guest post: Banango Lit

                For those unaware, I was featured on Banango Lit this Sunday in an exciting guestpost. I feel extremely happy seeing my work somewhere else. Usually I stay here, don’t really move anywhere, and publish things en masse on this delightful Blogspot, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. Having my work shown on Banango tickles me all kinds of pink. I happen to be a big fan of Banango, having covered them earlier this year. I have even covered some of their posts before, creating what some social scientists call ‘a circle of boost’. 

                I experience joy every time I come on here. But to be elsewhere makes me want to travel down this internet highway with the top down. I want to be somewhere outside of Barstow when the blogging begins to take hold of my fragile, eggshell mind. I oftentimes yearn for an attorney to accompany me on this vast stretch of internet highway, but I all I have found are a bunch of internet vagabonds. Someday I hope to find someone as anonymous and weird to share this delightful blogspot, to be an ‘author’ of this deeply weird yet completely impersonal blogspot. 

                Seeing Banango begin that process for me is pure magic indeed. I like their arrangement. They have three writers, Rachel Hymen, Justin Carter, and the Californian Diana Salier (I only mention her state since I have not been to California and want to go). I am their second guest writer. I am in good company. Who is the first you might ask? None other than the internet famous, IRL anonymous man/woman known as Peterbd, who came up with a top 200 reasons to enjoy Banango. Personally, I think peterbd is a bro, hence the peter, but I may never know for certain. Pretty stoked I share the guest post spot with Peterbd, for Peterbd is the chilliest of bros. Glad Banango supports positive online anonymity. 

                After reading my post and feeling all kinds of wonderful, I thought to myself: maybe I can soar, through that open online submission door. Perhaps I can submit to the other anonymous online entity, Happy Dog Mom Lit Journal, the one everybody is talking about. Maybe I can do that, though I may have to submit it as an even more anonymous version of myself. If I submit as a more anonymous version of myself that may be funny, since then my online presence, already murky to begin with, can get even murkier. 

                Or, and I wrote about this last week, I can finally try to achieve my lifetime dream: to get a piece on Thought Catalog, the hottest, greatest, most twenty-somethingest thing on the entire internet. Like I said before, it may be hard. I may be a bit too old for it, being a 38 year old blogger of two from Libby, Montana. It seems Thought Catalog likes submissions from the coasts, not from America’s heartland. Still, after feeling a rush from the Banango piece, perhaps anything is possible. Maybe this Christmas I will get the greatest gift of all, that of online relevancy. Let’s see.

My first guest post: Banango Lit

                For those unaware, I was featured on Banango Lit this Sunday in an exciting guestpost. I feel extremely happy seeing my work somewhere else. Usually I stay here, don’t really move anywhere, and publish things en masse on this delightful Blogspot, Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. Having my work shown on Banango tickles me all kinds of pink. I happen to be a big fan of Banango, having covered them earlier this year. I have even covered some of their posts before, creating what some social scientists call ‘a circle of boost’. 

                I experience joy every time I come on here. But to be elsewhere makes me want to travel down this internet highway with the top down. I want to be somewhere outside of Barstow when the blogging begins to take hold of my fragile, eggshell mind. I oftentimes yearn for an attorney to accompany me on this vast stretch of internet highway, but I all I have found are a bunch of internet vagabonds. Someday I hope to find someone as anonymous and weird to share this delightful blogspot, to be an ‘author’ of this deeply weird yet completely impersonal blogspot. 

                Seeing Banango begin that process for me is pure magic indeed. I like their arrangement. They have three writers, Rachel Hymen, Justin Carter, and the Californian Diana Salier (I only mention her state since I have not been to California and want to go). I am their second guest writer. I am in good company. Who is the first you might ask? None other than the internet famous, IRL anonymous man/woman known as Peterbd, who came up with a top 200 reasons to enjoy Banango. Personally, I think peterbd is a bro, hence the peter, but I may never know for certain. Pretty stoked I share the guest post spot with Peterbd, for Peterbd is the chilliest of bros. Glad Banango supports positive online anonymity. 

                After reading my post and feeling all kinds of wonderful, I thought to myself: maybe I can soar, through that open online submission door. Perhaps I can submit to the other anonymous online entity, Happy Dog Mom Lit Journal, the one everybody is talking about. Maybe I can do that, though I may have to submit it as an even more anonymous version of myself. If I submit as a more anonymous version of myself that may be funny, since then my online presence, already murky to begin with, can get even murkier. 

                Or, and I wrote about this last week, I can finally try to achieve my lifetime dream: to get a piece on Thought Catalog, the hottest, greatest, most twenty-somethingest thing on the entire internet. Like I said before, it may be hard. I may be a bit too old for it, being a 38 year old blogger of two from Libby, Montana. It seems Thought Catalog likes submissions from the coasts, not from America’s heartland. Still, after feeling a rush from the Banango piece, perhaps anything is possible. Maybe this Christmas I will get the greatest gift of all, that of online relevancy. Let’s see.

               Peterbd is a mysterious internet presence currently residing in internet city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Occasionally he sends out emails which make the recipient’s day. No one has ever met or heard of Peterbd. Speculation exists he may or may not be working hard on his anonymous presence in order to bring out his true title: 2018 Poet Laureate. I could be wrong, I just don’t know. 

                I wonder though: why would be anonymous on the internet? What value do you get from hiding yourself from screaming throngs of fans? As Sisqo once said “That throng, th throng throng throng” Sisqo has moved on since that song, becoming an ambassador for peace, a near-modern day Robin Hood, stealing booty from the rich in booty and giving it to the booty-less. Truly Sisqo is a man of our times, a man who, unlike Peterbd, has allowed himself to face his adoring public.

                This is the first time anyone’s really focused on Peterbd. Personally, that’s a shame. Any contact I’ve had with Peter has been beyond engaging. It became Post-Engaging, when I get so engaged I don’t even know how I lived before that email. Yep, Peterbd changed my life. He can change yours too. Or so I’d imagine, except if you’re Peterbd. 

                Going onto Peter’s only known information outside of emails we arrive at his Tumblr. It is filled with countless literary references to such giants as Shaun Gannon, Justin Carter, and others. Even among his contacts there has been some confusion. Justin Carter couldn’t decipher Peter’s tone or intention. Peterbd doesn’t have an intention or tone. Peterbd simply is. 

                Of course Peter isn’t alone in remaining anonymous on the internet. Plenty of dwellers from internet city choose anonymity. In fact, one of those dwellers may be really close to you right now. They may have typed out something extremely relevant. Yep, I’m talking about none other than Carles, the famous blogger from Hipster Runoff. Isn’t it interesting how we’ve never seen Carles and Peterbd in the same place? Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Why don’t the two of them have some kind of joint Podcast deal where they respond to curious online lookers? I could tell you why, but that would leave you even more confused. 

                A few other queries about Peterbd: does he live in Houston, Texas? Does he play the guitar, abet in a strange, uniquely personal way? Could Peterbd be a pseudonym for Jandek, since Jandek hasn’t gotten around to creating a website yet and wanted to comment on people’s blogs anonymously? I think that’s the best idea I’ve had so far. Also, why does Peterbd enjoy elaaiine’s twitter so much, besides it being uniformly excellent?

                Really, there are no answers to these questions. I know the truth is out there, kind of like the truth about space aliens but way more important to my life. Right now the only thing I know for certain is Peterbd will probably be sending me a lengthy email after this.

               Peterbd is a mysterious internet presence currently residing in internet city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Occasionally he sends out emails which make the recipient’s day. No one has ever met or heard of Peterbd. Speculation exists he may or may not be working hard on his anonymous presence in order to bring out his true title: 2018 Poet Laureate. I could be wrong, I just don’t know. 

                I wonder though: why would be anonymous on the internet? What value do you get from hiding yourself from screaming throngs of fans? As Sisqo once said “That throng, th throng throng throng” Sisqo has moved on since that song, becoming an ambassador for peace, a near-modern day Robin Hood, stealing booty from the rich in booty and giving it to the booty-less. Truly Sisqo is a man of our times, a man who, unlike Peterbd, has allowed himself to face his adoring public.

                This is the first time anyone’s really focused on Peterbd. Personally, that’s a shame. Any contact I’ve had with Peter has been beyond engaging. It became Post-Engaging, when I get so engaged I don’t even know how I lived before that email. Yep, Peterbd changed my life. He can change yours too. Or so I’d imagine, except if you’re Peterbd. 

                Going onto Peter’s only known information outside of emails we arrive at his Tumblr. It is filled with countless literary references to such giants as Shaun Gannon, Justin Carter, and others. Even among his contacts there has been some confusion. Justin Carter couldn’t decipher Peter’s tone or intention. Peterbd doesn’t have an intention or tone. Peterbd simply is. 

                Of course Peter isn’t alone in remaining anonymous on the internet. Plenty of dwellers from internet city choose anonymity. In fact, one of those dwellers may be really close to you right now. They may have typed out something extremely relevant. Yep, I’m talking about none other than Carles, the famous blogger from Hipster Runoff. Isn’t it interesting how we’ve never seen Carles and Peterbd in the same place? Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Why don’t the two of them have some kind of joint Podcast deal where they respond to curious online lookers? I could tell you why, but that would leave you even more confused. 

                A few other queries about Peterbd: does he live in Houston, Texas? Does he play the guitar, abet in a strange, uniquely personal way? Could Peterbd be a pseudonym for Jandek, since Jandek hasn’t gotten around to creating a website yet and wanted to comment on people’s blogs anonymously? I think that’s the best idea I’ve had so far. Also, why does Peterbd enjoy elaaiine’s twitter so much, besides it being uniformly excellent?

                Really, there are no answers to these questions. I know the truth is out there, kind of like the truth about space aliens but way more important to my life. Right now the only thing I know for certain is Peterbd will probably be sending me a lengthy email after this.