mt. razor scooter by nathan masserang


                Scooters are the vehicles of the future. After all of the Earth’s resources have been squandered the world will travel around on scooters. Bikes will require too much work. Upon the end of the work the collective knowledge needed to ride bikes will slowly face away. Everyone will forget about when life used to be good before they rode scooters. The phrase ‘Well that was a close shave’ in regards to a Razor scooter scooting too close will fade away too. Yes the future is bleak. ‘Mad Max’ is but a hopeful dream. In reality the end of the world will be a lot whinier with almost no violence since the violent ones will be taken out. At that point the meek shall inherit the Earth. The meek ones love scooters. Essentially the end of the world will be a lot like ‘The Road’ only much, much lamer. So ‘The Road’ without all the people eating. 

                Thankfully it is not the end of the world yet. Hope still exists. Birds follow the scooter riders ready to lift them up at a moment’s notice. When a flock of birds sees a scooter rider they think to themselves “Poor guy has been left behind by the rest of society” and “Caw”. Scooter riders ought to be good to the birds. For in a rainstorm or in a snowstorm a scooter is rendered useless. Cold weather also makes scooter riding a near-impossibility. The greatest deterrent to scooter riding is social stigma. In fact social stigma is one of leading factors of a lack of scooter usage.

                People point and laugh at the lower scooter rider. Unfortunately the scooter rider can never retort. Each passing person brings an additional sense of shame. Riding a scooter is similar to wearing a red ‘R’ of shame past everyone. A typical scooter rider thinks as they pass by these inevitable crowds of laughing onlookers “Well I’d love to point out the benefits of scooters to these naysayers but I must focus on my scooting”. The failure to get people to switch to a renewable energy resource that could potentially save the planet is tragic. One particular renewable resource is required for the arduous task of scooting and it isn’t even feet.

                Shame is the world’s greatest renewable energy resource. This allows people to continue scooting. Thanks to the derision that scooters generate riders simply tap into their inner shame of “goddamn it I’m 29 years old and riding a scooter. Where did my life go wrong?” It is a question intended to generate further shame. With shame, there is never an answer.

mt. razor scooter by nathan masserang

                Scooters are the vehicles of the future. After all of the Earth’s resources have been squandered the world will travel around on scooters. Bikes will require too much work. Upon the end of the work the collective knowledge needed to ride bikes will slowly face away. Everyone will forget about when life used to be good before they rode scooters. The phrase ‘Well that was a close shave’ in regards to a Razor scooter scooting too close will fade away too. Yes the future is bleak. ‘Mad Max’ is but a hopeful dream. In reality the end of the world will be a lot whinier with almost no violence since the violent ones will be taken out. At that point the meek shall inherit the Earth. The meek ones love scooters. Essentially the end of the world will be a lot like ‘The Road’ only much, much lamer. So ‘The Road’ without all the people eating. 

                Thankfully it is not the end of the world yet. Hope still exists. Birds follow the scooter riders ready to lift them up at a moment’s notice. When a flock of birds sees a scooter rider they think to themselves “Poor guy has been left behind by the rest of society” and “Caw”. Scooter riders ought to be good to the birds. For in a rainstorm or in a snowstorm a scooter is rendered useless. Cold weather also makes scooter riding a near-impossibility. The greatest deterrent to scooter riding is social stigma. In fact social stigma is one of leading factors of a lack of scooter usage.

                People point and laugh at the lower scooter rider. Unfortunately the scooter rider can never retort. Each passing person brings an additional sense of shame. Riding a scooter is similar to wearing a red ‘R’ of shame past everyone. A typical scooter rider thinks as they pass by these inevitable crowds of laughing onlookers “Well I’d love to point out the benefits of scooters to these naysayers but I must focus on my scooting”. The failure to get people to switch to a renewable energy resource that could potentially save the planet is tragic. One particular renewable resource is required for the arduous task of scooting and it isn’t even feet.

                Shame is the world’s greatest renewable energy resource. This allows people to continue scooting. Thanks to the derision that scooters generate riders simply tap into their inner shame of “goddamn it I’m 29 years old and riding a scooter. Where did my life go wrong?” It is a question intended to generate further shame. With shame, there is never an answer.

Ellen DeGeneres by Nathan Masserang


                Nathan invites the reader to abuse him so lovingly. That’s what love is: abuse. Everybody needs it. Without love whole economies would falter. Dating sites, greeting card manufacturers, the human race, all of it relies on the unstable emotion of love. Technological advances can only reach the ‘lust’ categories such as the flesh light, sex dolls, and oven mitt industries. Here Nathan wants an intern to love him since he knows that intern was only going to get coffee anyway. Coffee is lesser potent than love, though love tends to make people sleepy. Mothers in the poem get kicks to the face Nathan reports. Mothers don’t have to stand for it. Parents have to control their children or at least send them to school and make them somebody else’s problem. 

                Ellen DeGeneres, the host of the chapbook, appears out of thin air. They are waves transmitted by far away. Television is crazy that way. Nathan gets all existential about television. Bright colors separate the poems. Poor children are mocked by Nathan for their inadequate knowledge of how television fame works. Others receive Nathan’s mocking attitude for their usage of outdated drugs. What are Quaaludes besides a drug named by James Joyce long before they were created? James Joyce had great foresight. He knew the future was psychedelic drugs. That’s why he wrote the way he did: perfect, clear, insane. 

                Loneliness is a big part of Ellen DeGeneres’ life. People watch her from far away. There’s nothing she can do. Although Ellen DeGeneres is a star she feels everyone else is a star. Ellen is too popular. Mere mortals never go near her for fear of burning up in her immense popularity. Poor Ellen just wants a friend and money. One over the other is really hard. By her very nature Ellen is an approachable happy person. However the fame forces her to grow a shell. Ellen rues the fact she can’t simply steal a shell like far-right political commentators. She knows she looks better than them. She doesn’t get it. Radio waves wash over her. Unrelated radio waves continue to carry her radiant smile into the homes of people she’ll never meet. Normal people are stars to Ellen. While driving she sees them from afar. Interaction with any of her fans is almost as remote as her reaching a star sometime within her lifetime. 

                Scientists hear the lonely pleas of Ellen. Packing her into a spaceship they blast her off into space. Thankfully Ellen is a happy person. Living off of her positivity supplies she floats through space. Ellen is the only thing able to represent humanity on alien planets besides a couple of replicas from Jackson Pollack, a few Captain Beefheart albums, and a DVD copy of ‘The Big Lebowski’. Unfortunately the scientists are a motley crew of art lovers, burned out hippies, and bros. 

                Radio waves carry Ellen on into an unknowing future. Just like on Earth her destination up in space is unknowable.

Ellen DeGeneres by Nathan Masserang

                Nathan invites the reader to abuse him so lovingly. That’s what love is: abuse. Everybody needs it. Without love whole economies would falter. Dating sites, greeting card manufacturers, the human race, all of it relies on the unstable emotion of love. Technological advances can only reach the ‘lust’ categories such as the flesh light, sex dolls, and oven mitt industries. Here Nathan wants an intern to love him since he knows that intern was only going to get coffee anyway. Coffee is lesser potent than love, though love tends to make people sleepy. Mothers in the poem get kicks to the face Nathan reports. Mothers don’t have to stand for it. Parents have to control their children or at least send them to school and make them somebody else’s problem. 

                Ellen DeGeneres, the host of the chapbook, appears out of thin air. They are waves transmitted by far away. Television is crazy that way. Nathan gets all existential about television. Bright colors separate the poems. Poor children are mocked by Nathan for their inadequate knowledge of how television fame works. Others receive Nathan’s mocking attitude for their usage of outdated drugs. What are Quaaludes besides a drug named by James Joyce long before they were created? James Joyce had great foresight. He knew the future was psychedelic drugs. That’s why he wrote the way he did: perfect, clear, insane. 

                Loneliness is a big part of Ellen DeGeneres’ life. People watch her from far away. There’s nothing she can do. Although Ellen DeGeneres is a star she feels everyone else is a star. Ellen is too popular. Mere mortals never go near her for fear of burning up in her immense popularity. Poor Ellen just wants a friend and money. One over the other is really hard. By her very nature Ellen is an approachable happy person. However the fame forces her to grow a shell. Ellen rues the fact she can’t simply steal a shell like far-right political commentators. She knows she looks better than them. She doesn’t get it. Radio waves wash over her. Unrelated radio waves continue to carry her radiant smile into the homes of people she’ll never meet. Normal people are stars to Ellen. While driving she sees them from afar. Interaction with any of her fans is almost as remote as her reaching a star sometime within her lifetime. 

                Scientists hear the lonely pleas of Ellen. Packing her into a spaceship they blast her off into space. Thankfully Ellen is a happy person. Living off of her positivity supplies she floats through space. Ellen is the only thing able to represent humanity on alien planets besides a couple of replicas from Jackson Pollack, a few Captain Beefheart albums, and a DVD copy of ‘The Big Lebowski’. Unfortunately the scientists are a motley crew of art lovers, burned out hippies, and bros. 

                Radio waves carry Ellen on into an unknowing future. Just like on Earth her destination up in space is unknowable.



OJ by Nathan Masserang


                Nathan Masserang likes to neck. For most people the neck is the most vulnerable place. Unintelligent, long, with the ability to pump blood to the head, it is a good thing. For males the Adam’s apple is on the neck. People love it. Some find the Adam’s apple to be the most attractive part of a guy. Chilling on the neck it is simply there. It exists. Here Nathan thinks ‘damn’ about the sweet neck action. Nathan and his mate go about necking like two giraffes, quiet, awkward but completely sincere. Love is awkward sincerity. 

                Hair is Samson’s pride. That dude never cut it. All his strength came from his long luxurious locks. Nathan tries to indicate he will not cut it. Due to the gurgle in the throat life (brought on by that dastardly neck) Nathan is unable to convey this promise. Hence the promise that Nathan is fond of them is completely lost. Rather they do not touch Nathan for the week. This is due to their fear that Nathan is a complete baby. Nobody wants to affectionately touch or go out with a baby. That sort of thing is frowned upon in most societies. 

                Backs are scratched. Soda purchased. Nathan wants mixer for his gin. This is good. Gin requires something cool crisp and refreshing. Nathan wants that taste that’ll never let him down again. Little indication is given as to whether or not Nathan obeyed his thirst. From the context clue one assumes he did. At least that would be the human thing to do. What is not human is the dumping. Flint, Michigan on the phone is the worst way to be dumped. People should break up in person. Break-ups over the phone are tacky. Nathan correctly refers to this loser, this breaker of hearts, as an ‘asshole’. 

                The negative life is the EMO life. Many live it each and every day. It is a challenge to be so EMO. Nathan discusses aspects of this negative life. One moment they are as happy as clams. Next thing some seagull has picked up the clam and is flying it up high. Poor clam can do nothing. The seagull’s beak opens and the clam falls to the ground. Once it breaks open the seagull has delicious (and nutritious) clam suffering to eat. Who will be the defender of clams?

                It ends with threats of violence towards no one in particular. Frustration does that. Happiness, sadness, despair and frustration: this happens thanks to the modern life. Life truly eats people up. Nathan knows this and displays the diagrams showing how it will be done.

OJ by Nathan Masserang

                Nathan Masserang likes to neck. For most people the neck is the most vulnerable place. Unintelligent, long, with the ability to pump blood to the head, it is a good thing. For males the Adam’s apple is on the neck. People love it. Some find the Adam’s apple to be the most attractive part of a guy. Chilling on the neck it is simply there. It exists. Here Nathan thinks ‘damn’ about the sweet neck action. Nathan and his mate go about necking like two giraffes, quiet, awkward but completely sincere. Love is awkward sincerity. 

                Hair is Samson’s pride. That dude never cut it. All his strength came from his long luxurious locks. Nathan tries to indicate he will not cut it. Due to the gurgle in the throat life (brought on by that dastardly neck) Nathan is unable to convey this promise. Hence the promise that Nathan is fond of them is completely lost. Rather they do not touch Nathan for the week. This is due to their fear that Nathan is a complete baby. Nobody wants to affectionately touch or go out with a baby. That sort of thing is frowned upon in most societies. 

                Backs are scratched. Soda purchased. Nathan wants mixer for his gin. This is good. Gin requires something cool crisp and refreshing. Nathan wants that taste that’ll never let him down again. Little indication is given as to whether or not Nathan obeyed his thirst. From the context clue one assumes he did. At least that would be the human thing to do. What is not human is the dumping. Flint, Michigan on the phone is the worst way to be dumped. People should break up in person. Break-ups over the phone are tacky. Nathan correctly refers to this loser, this breaker of hearts, as an ‘asshole’. 

                The negative life is the EMO life. Many live it each and every day. It is a challenge to be so EMO. Nathan discusses aspects of this negative life. One moment they are as happy as clams. Next thing some seagull has picked up the clam and is flying it up high. Poor clam can do nothing. The seagull’s beak opens and the clam falls to the ground. Once it breaks open the seagull has delicious (and nutritious) clam suffering to eat. Who will be the defender of clams?

                It ends with threats of violence towards no one in particular. Frustration does that. Happiness, sadness, despair and frustration: this happens thanks to the modern life. Life truly eats people up. Nathan knows this and displays the diagrams showing how it will be done.

Maudlin by Nathan Masserang


                Nathan Masserang wears many hats. All those hats probably hurt his head. Whatever though Nathan is making the internet a better place. This year he’s been putting out work like there is no tomorrow. If the Mayans are correct, there might not be. Chapbooks count them, three of them; have been released to a suspecting public. More recently he’s the editor of GAYNG, one of the most hotly anticipated alt lit collections known to man, woman, and sloth. Of course alt lit includes a great deal of animals but that’s the general gist of it. Good thing today Nathan released yet another piece, this one a short little poem entitled Maudlin. 

                The end of the world happens on a playground. People generally refer to this as a battleground. From an early age children are trained on how to deal with conflict. Monkey bars, jungle gyms, it is all the same thing. Every child has the potential for either love or war. With the help of playground teachers determine who are the ‘good kids’ ‘bad kids’ and ‘dear God what the hell happened to them’ kids. For personality is developed at a young age. Nobody knows why it happens, why some people suck and others rule. It is too hard to tell. 

                Sarcasm takes over countless cultures. Unfortunately sincerity is in short supply. The internet makes sincerity hard to detect. Many protect themselves unnecessarily from hurt on the internet. It is extremely important to support each other on the internet. What the internet needs now is love, sweet love. Lacking this love the internet may perish under the weight of its own epic form of irony. Only Mr. Rogers could save the internet from irony, and there is no Mr. Rogers anymore. Internet life can be so cruel. 

                How it ends is with Nathan adopting a neutral position. This is a good thing. Without the neutral stance no one could do anything. Being neutral is good. Balance is an important part of a balanced breakfast. Millions across the world wake up happy or sad. Picking a middle ground means the day is a blank slate. Many wonderful things can happen every day. All it takes is a clean mind to take them all it for what it is worth. Environments present glorious things, money on the street, bumping into friends, these are great things. Even with a therapist who lies to her patients, the ability for a patient to be positive cannot be underestimated. Nathan knows this and Nathan rises above every day.

Maudlin by Nathan Masserang

                Nathan Masserang wears many hats. All those hats probably hurt his head. Whatever though Nathan is making the internet a better place. This year he’s been putting out work like there is no tomorrow. If the Mayans are correct, there might not be. Chapbooks count them, three of them; have been released to a suspecting public. More recently he’s the editor of GAYNG, one of the most hotly anticipated alt lit collections known to man, woman, and sloth. Of course alt lit includes a great deal of animals but that’s the general gist of it. Good thing today Nathan released yet another piece, this one a short little poem entitled Maudlin. 

                The end of the world happens on a playground. People generally refer to this as a battleground. From an early age children are trained on how to deal with conflict. Monkey bars, jungle gyms, it is all the same thing. Every child has the potential for either love or war. With the help of playground teachers determine who are the ‘good kids’ ‘bad kids’ and ‘dear God what the hell happened to them’ kids. For personality is developed at a young age. Nobody knows why it happens, why some people suck and others rule. It is too hard to tell. 

                Sarcasm takes over countless cultures. Unfortunately sincerity is in short supply. The internet makes sincerity hard to detect. Many protect themselves unnecessarily from hurt on the internet. It is extremely important to support each other on the internet. What the internet needs now is love, sweet love. Lacking this love the internet may perish under the weight of its own epic form of irony. Only Mr. Rogers could save the internet from irony, and there is no Mr. Rogers anymore. Internet life can be so cruel. 

                How it ends is with Nathan adopting a neutral position. This is a good thing. Without the neutral stance no one could do anything. Being neutral is good. Balance is an important part of a balanced breakfast. Millions across the world wake up happy or sad. Picking a middle ground means the day is a blank slate. Many wonderful things can happen every day. All it takes is a clean mind to take them all it for what it is worth. Environments present glorious things, money on the street, bumping into friends, these are great things. Even with a therapist who lies to her patients, the ability for a patient to be positive cannot be underestimated. Nathan knows this and Nathan rises above every day.

U, faggote by Nathan Masserang



                Shout outs are given to empty space. This is where shout outs belong, for the emptiness to absorb. People feel emptiness in themselves all the time. Why not just acknowledge it and dedicate an entire chapbook to the proceedings? Happy that Nathan recognizes emptiness. Emptiness is a necessary impulse in modern life, distributed for free on the internet in PDF format. 

                Death bed music is an important choice for anybody. To really set the dead mood requires something epic and grand. Most pick Post-Rock. While this makes sense it is a little overused. People who pick happy music do well. Slowcore is another long-ignored genre. Harsh, abrasive noise bands are a good pick as well. 

                Nathan is everything to a special one. All he wants is to be dead next to somebody. Sleeping is what this is generally called. TVs still exist apparently. Laptops are the new TVs. They require more work but interact more. What he wants is for someone to share bitterness with, to complain with company. Misery needs company. Misery populates apartment buildings and pays rent on the first of every day. This is life. 

                Every dog needs another dog. Suburbs are full of dog owners. In the suburbs people need dogs to convince themselves that they are doing well. When they pet each other’s dogs it is to convince them that having a dog is a good thing. It is a cycle of dog love dog. How do the suburbs even exist anymore? Suburb are the worst combination, like a combination Pizza Hut / Taco Bell on 80 x 100 plots of nothing. 

                A portrait of the poet as a pornographer appears. All art is pornography anyway so this makes sense. Nathan arrives on America’s shores with a sense of civic duty. Every year America loses more and more pornographers to age, boredom and boardrooms. Once someone’s done everything and everyone that’s out there to be done, working in a cubicle or an office sounds pretty grand. Honestly cubicles can be beautiful Zen things. 

                Death is a huge part of music. Sounds decay all the time. Crescendos, swan songs, etc. music is a tough world. Singing along to the top 40 hits is perhaps the emptiest, least fulfilling thing anybody could do with their life. When the headphones are on with the volume loud enough it doesn’t matter. People can sing to the heavens if they never have to hear themselves. 

                One note ends it. Nathan states his belief that skiing hurts. Mountains probably hate the snot out of skiers. This is the ending however, the downward slope with an upward trajectory. Nathan continues his craft, mixing Macro with Tweet with pieces of poems.

U, faggote by Nathan Masserang

                Shout outs are given to empty space. This is where shout outs belong, for the emptiness to absorb. People feel emptiness in themselves all the time. Why not just acknowledge it and dedicate an entire chapbook to the proceedings? Happy that Nathan recognizes emptiness. Emptiness is a necessary impulse in modern life, distributed for free on the internet in PDF format

                Death bed music is an important choice for anybody. To really set the dead mood requires something epic and grand. Most pick Post-Rock. While this makes sense it is a little overused. People who pick happy music do well. Slowcore is another long-ignored genre. Harsh, abrasive noise bands are a good pick as well. 

                Nathan is everything to a special one. All he wants is to be dead next to somebody. Sleeping is what this is generally called. TVs still exist apparently. Laptops are the new TVs. They require more work but interact more. What he wants is for someone to share bitterness with, to complain with company. Misery needs company. Misery populates apartment buildings and pays rent on the first of every day. This is life. 

                Every dog needs another dog. Suburbs are full of dog owners. In the suburbs people need dogs to convince themselves that they are doing well. When they pet each other’s dogs it is to convince them that having a dog is a good thing. It is a cycle of dog love dog. How do the suburbs even exist anymore? Suburb are the worst combination, like a combination Pizza Hut / Taco Bell on 80 x 100 plots of nothing. 

                A portrait of the poet as a pornographer appears. All art is pornography anyway so this makes sense. Nathan arrives on America’s shores with a sense of civic duty. Every year America loses more and more pornographers to age, boredom and boardrooms. Once someone’s done everything and everyone that’s out there to be done, working in a cubicle or an office sounds pretty grand. Honestly cubicles can be beautiful Zen things. 

                Death is a huge part of music. Sounds decay all the time. Crescendos, swan songs, etc. music is a tough world. Singing along to the top 40 hits is perhaps the emptiest, least fulfilling thing anybody could do with their life. When the headphones are on with the volume loud enough it doesn’t matter. People can sing to the heavens if they never have to hear themselves. 

                One note ends it. Nathan states his belief that skiing hurts. Mountains probably hate the snot out of skiers. This is the ending however, the downward slope with an upward trajectory. Nathan continues his craft, mixing Macro with Tweet with pieces of poems.