Beach Sloth

Murdoch Lamarche’s coverage of my Coverage of Murdoch Larmarche’s Coverage of my coverage of ‘2AM Interview: Buttercup and LK’

                Online anonymity binds me and Murdoch together. We are a true bundle of sticks. Right now I have been spotted at various social functions or have paid a representative to do this for me. My book ‘I want to YouTube down the Rivers of America’ is helping to finance my private eye. Yes it is a true private eye, my third eye, behind my giant bushel of hair. It sees all. Thanks to my third eye I can keep up with the rapid pace of alt lit. 

                Murdoch Lamarche covers me in this beautiful post. Heroes and villains love me. What can I say? At the end of the world I’m going to have a recliner and an IPOD filled with all my favorite tunes. Eventually the world would collapse but not before finishing my last album, Red Krayola’s ‘The Parable of Arable Land’ and Royal Trux’s ‘Twin Infinitives’. Man, do I love those albums. 

                Yes Mongolia is the next alt lit hot spot. Watch yourself. Expect a bunch of cool chapbooks from Mongolians. Before Mongolians conquered most of the Eurasian landmass but now they will run across our internet at a frightening speed. You’ll see them on their digital horses killing us softly with their words. 

                Powerpuff Girls are Buttercup’s kind of girls. Buttercup has the ‘Powerpuff Girl’ kind of face. I’m proud that Buttercup helped defeat many evil foes in the past. Buttercup faces his greatest foe yet: a bowl of chili. Armies have fallen helpless to chili. Chili is the most evil of all foods. Help out Buttercup. Pay Buttercup through the Paypal mechanism. He needs it. No one can defeat chili alone. No man is an island. 

                LK Shaw is the most famous musician to come out of Canada since Rush. While Rush attracts sad 40 and 50 something males with one single woman, LK’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Her yard is better than yours, damn right. She professionally landscaped the ‘fuck’ out of it. You can play Frisbee with LK on her lawn. I highly recommend it. 

                Miller High Life is for the highest of lives. Will you take me higher? Are you an eagle soaring? Will you protect my freedom? Can you drop me off at work tomorrow? My car is all busted and weird. My feet hurt and I am slow for I am a sloth. 

                Glad Murdoch has his money on me. Right now I have some information about Murdoch’s plan to take over the world? It is the best plan I have ever heard. Imagine the smartest thing you have ever come up with besides an online presence. Yeah, it is genius. Let’s just say Murdoch has harvested avatars across the world to fight in his online into IRL army. Can you expect it? No nor can you ever be ready for when the Murdoch comes for you. It’s okay. He’ll be a benevolent ruler of Earth. He promised me this, he also promised to ‘step up his online game’. Plus Murdoch hates Sea Cheetah and honestly that is enough for me.