SELECTIONS FROM JORDAN CASTRO’S TWITTER

                Jordan Castro is having a trill year. Lately he’s been traveling across the country doing a reading tour with Megan Boyle, Sam Pink, Scott McClanahan, Mallory Whitten and the savory Salisbury Bushnell. ‘Shoplifting from American Apparel’ showed off Jordan Castro’s acting chops. In his spare time he runs his very own Ohio based band aptly named ‘The Ohioans’. Recently he busted out the big beautiful book of ‘Young Americans’ chronicling the life and times of a young, virile man growing up in America. Honestly Jordan is virile as fuck, despite his best efforts to rip off his own dick. 

                The set begins with an emphasis on his age. Jordan Castro graduated high school. Many consider this a true accomplishment, a testament to getting through the worst part of life. In fact judging from the last tweet about the first day of college there is really solid framing effect for these tweets. Megan Boyle does a really good job of showing how Jordan Castro’s mind works during that time of ‘pure freedom’ from school, away from old friends and hoping to make new ones. 

                ‘just want to write a book so good that all of my behavior is excusable’ is the best tweet in the whole collection. If there’s one tweet that deserves to be re-tweeted out of the bunch it is this one. Writers typically refer to their own work as a justification for their actions. Sometimes shitty writers are also shitty people. Book quality has nothing to do with it often. Yet the idea is common enough that Jordan’s take is particularly funny. Besides he recently put out a book, so perhaps this tweet also has a ‘prophetic’ quality to it. Maybe Jordan knew, subconsciously that he would be out a book to extreme critical acclaim. 

                X-men get a lot of attention in this tweet series. Clearly Jordan Castro loves ‘the fuck’ out of that perennial all-American comic book series. One of the most notable aspects of American culture is the fear of a massive, all powerful government. Usually this government hates mutants for reasons that are convoluted, boring, and poorly explained. Yet the explanation doesn’t really matter as long as some cars transform into robots, some web is slung, and at least one awkward love scene is shown. Jordan explains how he lost control of his left leg due to the overwhelming power of the X-men movie. 

                The tweets about loneliness are great. Rummaging around people’s homes in broad daylight searching for happiness is commonly referred to as ‘hanging out’. Crying uncontrollably on the floor while looking really good is typical for anyone between the ages of 16 to 32. After 32 it gets easier, hopefully. If someone is worried about the terrible direction their life is going they should read these tweets since these tweets would make anyone feel less alone in loneliness.

SELECTIONS FROM JORDAN CASTRO’S TWITTER

                Jordan Castro is having a trill year. Lately he’s been traveling across the country doing a reading tour with Megan Boyle, Sam Pink, Scott McClanahan, Mallory Whitten and the savory Salisbury Bushnell. ‘Shoplifting from American Apparel’ showed off Jordan Castro’s acting chops. In his spare time he runs his very own Ohio based band aptly named ‘The Ohioans’. Recently he busted out the big beautiful book of ‘Young Americans’ chronicling the life and times of a young, virile man growing up in America. Honestly Jordan is virile as fuck, despite his best efforts to rip off his own dick. 

                The set begins with an emphasis on his age. Jordan Castro graduated high school. Many consider this a true accomplishment, a testament to getting through the worst part of life. In fact judging from the last tweet about the first day of college there is really solid framing effect for these tweets. Megan Boyle does a really good job of showing how Jordan Castro’s mind works during that time of ‘pure freedom’ from school, away from old friends and hoping to make new ones. 

                ‘just want to write a book so good that all of my behavior is excusable’ is the best tweet in the whole collection. If there’s one tweet that deserves to be re-tweeted out of the bunch it is this one. Writers typically refer to their own work as a justification for their actions. Sometimes shitty writers are also shitty people. Book quality has nothing to do with it often. Yet the idea is common enough that Jordan’s take is particularly funny. Besides he recently put out a book, so perhaps this tweet also has a ‘prophetic’ quality to it. Maybe Jordan knew, subconsciously that he would be out a book to extreme critical acclaim. 

                X-men get a lot of attention in this tweet series. Clearly Jordan Castro loves ‘the fuck’ out of that perennial all-American comic book series. One of the most notable aspects of American culture is the fear of a massive, all powerful government. Usually this government hates mutants for reasons that are convoluted, boring, and poorly explained. Yet the explanation doesn’t really matter as long as some cars transform into robots, some web is slung, and at least one awkward love scene is shown. Jordan explains how he lost control of his left leg due to the overwhelming power of the X-men movie. 

                The tweets about loneliness are great. Rummaging around people’s homes in broad daylight searching for happiness is commonly referred to as ‘hanging out’. Crying uncontrollably on the floor while looking really good is typical for anyone between the ages of 16 to 32. After 32 it gets easier, hopefully. If someone is worried about the terrible direction their life is going they should read these tweets since these tweets would make anyone feel less alone in loneliness.

raccoonsarenotafraidofpeople

raccoonsarenotafraidofpeople:

Raccoon Remix.  2012.

                Raccoons make amazing remixes. Few would guess a raccoon would be behind the greatest video remix of culture. Culture is all around up in this massively distorted video/audio project. At times completely incomprehensible it is a pulsing being of pure energy. More than a video the Raccoon Remix is the world viewer through the less of those smart enough to pull back and escape. Watching this video requires complete and full attention. Despite the amorphous nature of the video a few common themes appear again and again.

                Zachary German appears many times in this video. This is due to his blockbuster hit ‘Shitty Youth’ which came out fairly recently. Sure other alt lit writers appear: Tao Lin, Steve Roggenbuck, Megan Boyle and Jordan Castro make guest appearances. For some reason Zachary’s face interests the raccoon the most. Zachary’s face bleeds into and out of its surroundings. Does Zachary German’s face represent the end times? When the world ends will the final words be Zachary German’s infamous phrase of ‘Kill cops. Why not? Look at them. They’re horrible. I don’t know.’

                Law enforcement is shown more frequently however. Putting the bad guys away is what law enforcement does. Every time somebody is smoking up (and there’s a lot of footage of that in the video) law enforcement arrives to save the day. Whatever raccoon created this remix is clearly a fan of America’s hard working police force. Dangerous drug fiends litter the streets of America. It is up to America’s law enforcement to pick up the trash. Besides this there is real Manson footage, various evil doers and other assorted pieces of trash. 

                Speaking of trash politicians take up a large chunk of the footage. This includes the recent footage from the 2012 election along with earlier politicians. Bill Clinton makes his way into the infinitely growing jam. George W. Bush, America’s beloved former leader, makes a rare post-presidential appearance. Even older presidents wedge their way into this mega-mix. In fact there is a surprisingly calm moment where a speaker discusses how to be an intellectual. It is simple: just realize everything is hopeless. People laughed at him. But he was probably right or hopelessly pessimistic. 

                By the end of the video the graphics change dramatically. From the macro level of world events, drug busts, and bursts of violence is the micro world of cell biology. Here the cells take over. There is no stopping it. The end of the world will be full of evil micro biology perpetuated by raccoon remixes. Consider this remix a basic sample of what’s to come.

livemylief

livemylief:

SLEEP WITH ME UNTIL WE ARE BIRDS AT THE END OF THE WORLD

reading poetry next to some train tracks in northampton massachusets

                Steve Roggenbuck advises Baltimore that he remains its sexual cartographer. The crowd, predictably goes wild. Rare footage of this IRL reading is courtesy of Sarah Jean Alexander. In the background is the crème de le crème of the Baltimore blogging scene. Yep, that’s right; the blurry figure in the background is the world-famous, jet-setting blogger of Megan Boyle. People love Megan Boyle. Vice digs what she does. Her work on the social anxiety of frozen foods at the supermarket changes lives each and every post. 

                Delicate music plays in the background as Steve states he came all the way from Twitter.com. Lots of people live on Twitter. Twitter is getting gentrified. Before it used to be so easy to live on Twitter, just tweeting about breakfast or pictures of oneself but now, what happened. It is out of control. People need to build brands on Twitter, gain followers, and be relevant. Many drop out of the Twitter game. For those thinking about leaving Twitter and leading a stress-free Myspace life, don’t. While the Twitter game may be hard it brings people together under the umbrella of witty comments and unique worldviews. 

                Here Steve walks next to a railroad. EMO music plays in the background. Steve Roggenbuck is the most EMO poet of any generation. Other poets tried getting into Bright Eyes and failed. Steve succeeds. Evidence can be seen in the sort of romantic poetry Steve writes such as ‘I want to be down in the clown of you’ and ‘fricker’.  Speculation states ‘fricker’ is nothing more than a soft or Mormon way of saying ‘fucker’. This is incorrect. When Steve says fricker he refers to the entire frick-o-system. 

                There’s a random shot of a play-horse. This is a not so subtle homage to the online horse, horse_ebooks. Indeed for those unaware, horse_ebooks lives in Massachusetts and works alongside such great minds as Noam Chomsky. Noam Chomsky does not respect horse_ebooks however. Each one has a different concentration. Noam is a political commentator and studies linguistics. Horse_ebooks teaches a class on marketing in social media. Poor horse_ebooks does not have any ‘spicy teacher’ rating on ‘ratemyteacher.com’. Students of horse_ebooks complain of the blogs they need to maintain for the class. Brand-building exercises are not understood by horse_ebooks’ students. 

                For this video Steve is sponsored by America’s greatest transportation system, the railroad. America owes a lot to its railroads hence why railroads usually pass through people’s backyards. As trains pass through the countryside they say to themselves “Oh that guy did a good job landscaping his backyard” and “When are they going to throw out that jungle gym. Their kids are in their forties now.” Life moves like a freight train, heavily subsidized by friends. 

                 It ends with Steve calling people something bird related at 6 am. This makes sense. Everybody is a bird in their own special way. 6 am is the ‘birding hour’ when the birds start chirping. Steve calls it, ‘just another hour on the internet’. This is a tender video to watch with young children and indeed may be the most PBS-friendly thing Steve has done. And with PBS being bashed by big old meanies this is exactly what they need.

Giving Up: DON’T



                People give up each and every day. Some writers have choice words for those who give up. One Steve Roggenbuck says ‘If you give up, fuck you’. Today a great plague has hit the alt lit nation. It is a brand new craze of bleak introspection: come on, do the dejection. Life can be hard. Sloths understand this as they crawl from one point to the other, never getting to where they need to go. Rather sloths hang upside down on trees condemned to achieve nothing. But while such a model has worked for millennia for the sloths, it is a poor strategy for humans to take. 


                Sam Pink appears to be giving up. Out of somewhere he states ‘life sucks dick’. Sam Pink went on a reading tour with other great writers across the beautiful, bountiful and buxom baby called America. From this place of sadness Sam talks about those uncouth youngsters throwing rocks at him. The pants he had split apart like a new pair of pants. Most of Sam’s sadness may be pants related. His heart gets torn out over and over again until there is nothing left. 


                But there is something left. The outpouring of support is amazing. People are right. When sadness falls it can be heavy indeed. No one can pick themselves up out of depression alone. Friends are necessary to pull that heaviness off, revealing the sunshine once again. HTMLGiant has a stub dedicated to this post, to encourage others to encourage Sam Pink. A few have been directly hurt from this announcement. Mallory Whitten is currently having her head ‘belly slammed’ by Jordan Castro and Megan Boyle. Save Mallory Whitten’s head. Buy Sam Pink’s books wherever un-reputable books are sold. Also buy Megan Boyle’s book. Megan Boyle is the coolest person on planet Earth. 


                My experience with Sam Pink has been uniformly positive. I have seen videos of his readings shown to me by Steve Roggenbuck. Everybody loves the guy. Shaun Gannon did a rare dedication to Sam Pink in one of his poems. Reading a Sam Pink piece is a unique, life-changing experience. How he filters reality is amazing. The outro he wrote for Scott McClanahan’s “The Collected Works of Scott McClanahan Volume 1” is fantastic. Check out Scott’s book too. It is really, really funny, downright bizarre yet oddly believable. Scott McClanahan’s work is like discovering West Virginia without the inconvenience of actually going there. 

                General theme of giving up: just don’t do it. Live. Breathe. It gets better. Depression hits the world each and every day. What can be the hardest thing is to embrace the good. Not everything is going to work out. Sam Pink has been doing this for a long time. Literature without Sam Pink would be an even sadder thing. Embrace Sam Pink. Give him a virtual hug right here.

Giving Up: DON’T

                People give up each and every day. Some writers have choice words for those who give up. One Steve Roggenbuck says ‘If you give up, fuck you’. Today a great plague has hit the alt lit nation. It is a brand new craze of bleak introspection: come on, do the dejection. Life can be hard. Sloths understand this as they crawl from one point to the other, never getting to where they need to go. Rather sloths hang upside down on trees condemned to achieve nothing. But while such a model has worked for millennia for the sloths, it is a poor strategy for humans to take. 

                Sam Pink appears to be giving up. Out of somewhere he states ‘life sucks dick’. Sam Pink went on a reading tour with other great writers across the beautiful, bountiful and buxom baby called America. From this place of sadness Sam talks about those uncouth youngsters throwing rocks at him. The pants he had split apart like a new pair of pants. Most of Sam’s sadness may be pants related. His heart gets torn out over and over again until there is nothing left. 

                But there is something left. The outpouring of support is amazing. People are right. When sadness falls it can be heavy indeed. No one can pick themselves up out of depression alone. Friends are necessary to pull that heaviness off, revealing the sunshine once again. HTMLGiant has a stub dedicated to this post, to encourage others to encourage Sam Pink. A few have been directly hurt from this announcement. Mallory Whitten is currently having her head ‘belly slammed’ by Jordan Castro and Megan Boyle. Save Mallory Whitten’s head. Buy Sam Pink’s books wherever un-reputable books are sold. Also buy Megan Boyle’s book. Megan Boyle is the coolest person on planet Earth. 

                My experience with Sam Pink has been uniformly positive. I have seen videos of his readings shown to me by Steve Roggenbuck. Everybody loves the guy. Shaun Gannon did a rare dedication to Sam Pink in one of his poems. Reading a Sam Pink piece is a unique, life-changing experience. How he filters reality is amazing. The outro he wrote for Scott McClanahan’s “The Collected Works of Scott McClanahan Volume 1” is fantastic. Check out Scott’s book too. It is really, really funny, downright bizarre yet oddly believable. Scott McClanahan’s work is like discovering West Virginia without the inconvenience of actually going there. 

                General theme of giving up: just don’t do it. Live. Breathe. It gets better. Depression hits the world each and every day. What can be the hardest thing is to embrace the good. Not everything is going to work out. Sam Pink has been doing this for a long time. Literature without Sam Pink would be an even sadder thing. Embrace Sam Pink. Give him a virtual hug right here.

Tao Lin and Megan Boyle Break Up :(

               There I was, in my matching plaid Pajamas, doing Math homework, when I saw it. A relationship status change which changed my life lay in front of me. Part of me couldn’t believe it. I know love is a never-ending math equation, where the numbers don’t add up, but I couldn’t grasp it. Megan Boyle and Tao Lin had split up. Confused I decided to use math to determine why this had happened, but nothing, not even linear regression or taking the second derivative of love helped me. 

                How did this happen? We’ll never know; that’s for sure. I felt sad seeing this relationship change. The two of them seemed so sweet and adorable together. I remember seeing them in all those MDMA films, which were little funny valentines, bathed in red light, mumbled but caring. Actually I even remember seeing them at one of the premiers of those films, specifically for “Bebe Zeva”. Part of me wanted to go up to them, to shake each one of their hands and thank them for being great writers. Instead I stood by myself, awkward, wondering if I should talk to people more internet famous than myself, which is everyone. 

                Now I can see the bloggers circling around the split up couple. Countless blog entries are going to be dedicated to taking sides. Some will take Tao Lin’s side; others will take Megan Boyle’s side. Foul comments will come out of each camp, dreadful words meant to hurt. They’ll question the other, berate the other, post of Facebook walls, and generally create an internet-based ruckus. 

                I’m going to do an unusual thing I say I like them both. Yes, I’m diplomatic. Sloths are known for being diplomats as we’re not really genetically pre-disposed to fighting due to our slow pace. Each writer has a specific style. Both of them have their own reasons for splitting up and it probably was for the best. Glad to see neither one has any plans for stopping the amazing output they’ve been putting out lately. 

                A number of breakups have been taking place recently. First those old people from Sonic Youth and now this breakup, which hurts more. Sonic Youth are far away from me; they don’t check their twitter nor link my site on their site. Tao Lin and Megan Boyle are responsive on the internet, liking posts and such. Despite having never introduced nor even met either one of them in real life, I feel they are my friends in a way which more meaningful than many people I know in real life. That’s because their work speaks to me and lets me know I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed by this big old crazy world. At times their writing suggests they are in the room, trying to calm me down, trying to make me feel a little less nervous about my life. That’s probably why I’m a little sad about the breakup. Obviously they are too. 

                Sure, I know it was for the best for reasons I’ll never understand. Love is a mysterious thing. But now I know: if I ever bump into Megan or Tao of them in real life, I’ll give them a hug and buy them some ice cream.

Tao Lin and Megan Boyle Break Up :(

               There I was, in my matching plaid Pajamas, doing Math homework, when I saw it. A relationship status change which changed my life lay in front of me. Part of me couldn’t believe it. I know love is a never-ending math equation, where the numbers don’t add up, but I couldn’t grasp it. Megan Boyle and Tao Lin had split up. Confused I decided to use math to determine why this had happened, but nothing, not even linear regression or taking the second derivative of love helped me. 

                How did this happen? We’ll never know; that’s for sure. I felt sad seeing this relationship change. The two of them seemed so sweet and adorable together. I remember seeing them in all those MDMA films, which were little funny valentines, bathed in red light, mumbled but caring. Actually I even remember seeing them at one of the premiers of those films, specifically for “Bebe Zeva”. Part of me wanted to go up to them, to shake each one of their hands and thank them for being great writers. Instead I stood by myself, awkward, wondering if I should talk to people more internet famous than myself, which is everyone. 

                Now I can see the bloggers circling around the split up couple. Countless blog entries are going to be dedicated to taking sides. Some will take Tao Lin’s side; others will take Megan Boyle’s side. Foul comments will come out of each camp, dreadful words meant to hurt. They’ll question the other, berate the other, post of Facebook walls, and generally create an internet-based ruckus. 

                I’m going to do an unusual thing I say I like them both. Yes, I’m diplomatic. Sloths are known for being diplomats as we’re not really genetically pre-disposed to fighting due to our slow pace. Each writer has a specific style. Both of them have their own reasons for splitting up and it probably was for the best. Glad to see neither one has any plans for stopping the amazing output they’ve been putting out lately. 

                A number of breakups have been taking place recently. First those old people from Sonic Youth and now this breakup, which hurts more. Sonic Youth are far away from me; they don’t check their twitter nor link my site on their site. Tao Lin and Megan Boyle are responsive on the internet, liking posts and such. Despite having never introduced nor even met either one of them in real life, I feel they are my friends in a way which more meaningful than many people I know in real life. That’s because their work speaks to me and lets me know I’m not alone in feeling overwhelmed by this big old crazy world. At times their writing suggests they are in the room, trying to calm me down, trying to make me feel a little less nervous about my life. That’s probably why I’m a little sad about the breakup. Obviously they are too. 

                Sure, I know it was for the best for reasons I’ll never understand. Love is a mysterious thing. But now I know: if I ever bump into Megan or Tao of them in real life, I’ll give them a hug and buy them some ice cream.

SELECTED UNPUBLISHED BLOG POSTS OF A MEXICAN PANDA EXPRESS EMPLOYEE
             Hello Muumuu House,

 I would like a copy of the aforementioned  book for review purposes only. While I have no actual right to do so I  will do so anyway. Either way I have nothing to lose by asking you.  Failure to send one to me will result in no ill-will or negative  consequences for you whatsoever as I am powerless and survive off of  low-calorie food. Kudos on all of your success whoever the recipient of  this email may be!

Regards,Beach Sloth
                 Megan Boyle’s book followed  quickly after this email was sent. Whoever sent it to me is much more  productive than I am. Normally I don’t move that fast. Once I got it I  read it immediately, going over it piece by piece. Though I move slowly;  I read quickly.
               I judged this  book by its cover. The cover features some thoughtful-looking woman  staring in front of her, probably at some glorious future, made me want  to become a better sloth. Or she could be sleeping while standing up  since her eyes are closed. Honestly, I’m not sure. Reading it though I  realize I’m around average in terms of social anxiety. Perhaps I’m  slightly more anxious than the character was during the creation of this  cultural artifact, this testament to our times. 
                 Parts of this book were  surprisingly real to me. Right now I’m in Baltimore. Her posts take  place in this allegedly ‘charming’ city. Oddly, her experience, as  frustrating as it was, made me long for her cool set of friends. Down  here I’ve found nearly no one with my same interests. Nay, I’ve found  those boring tools who listen to Dave Matthews, who look like bros, and  who are some of the least engaging people I’ve found on the entire  planet. It is the rare moment that I see anything approximating a ‘cool  kid’ on these streets, and when I do, I nearly want to hug the person,  to say ‘thank god you exist’. 
                 The book is funny. A few  times it caught me completely off guard. Megan’s wit is sharp. I’m not  an easy laugh. I’m not the sort of person who laughs uncontrollably at  the sight of their own belly button lint. Putting it bluntly, let me  quote Tristan Tzara “It is not for the sawed-off imps who still worship  their navels.” You should pay close attention to the word choice and  exact delivery. Getting humorous delivery down in the written word isn’t  easy but Ms. Boyle excels at it.
                 Relate-able moments are  everywhere. You may be familiar with some of this, it is available on  her sweet-ass blog, on various Thought Catalog articles, or any kind of  conversation you may or may not have had with her. Seeing her comments  about Bloggers were pretty close to home, I literally squirmed  uncomfortably in my chair, knowing that the entire sentence basically  summarized the slight embarrassment associated with blogging. At least  that’s been my experience. 
                 Upon finishing this book, I  felt better. Reading it was like talking through my problems with an  old friend. They are there, I know their quirks, they tell me about  their experience, and we drink, we drink a whole lot. Megan’s approach  to writing is easy, natural, and surprisingly universal. Muumuu House  did a great job setting this upon the unsuspecting public. 
                 It’s out on November 15th, 2011, a Tuesday. Go here.

SELECTED UNPUBLISHED BLOG POSTS OF A MEXICAN PANDA EXPRESS EMPLOYEE

             Hello Muumuu House,


I would like a copy of the aforementioned book for review purposes only. While I have no actual right to do so I will do so anyway. Either way I have nothing to lose by asking you. Failure to send one to me will result in no ill-will or negative consequences for you whatsoever as I am powerless and survive off of low-calorie food. Kudos on all of your success whoever the recipient of this email may be!

Regards,Beach Sloth


                Megan Boyle’s book followed quickly after this email was sent. Whoever sent it to me is much more productive than I am. Normally I don’t move that fast. Once I got it I read it immediately, going over it piece by piece. Though I move slowly; I read quickly.


               I judged this book by its cover. The cover features some thoughtful-looking woman staring in front of her, probably at some glorious future, made me want to become a better sloth. Or she could be sleeping while standing up since her eyes are closed. Honestly, I’m not sure. Reading it though I realize I’m around average in terms of social anxiety. Perhaps I’m slightly more anxious than the character was during the creation of this cultural artifact, this testament to our times. 


                Parts of this book were surprisingly real to me. Right now I’m in Baltimore. Her posts take place in this allegedly ‘charming’ city. Oddly, her experience, as frustrating as it was, made me long for her cool set of friends. Down here I’ve found nearly no one with my same interests. Nay, I’ve found those boring tools who listen to Dave Matthews, who look like bros, and who are some of the least engaging people I’ve found on the entire planet. It is the rare moment that I see anything approximating a ‘cool kid’ on these streets, and when I do, I nearly want to hug the person, to say ‘thank god you exist’. 


                The book is funny. A few times it caught me completely off guard. Megan’s wit is sharp. I’m not an easy laugh. I’m not the sort of person who laughs uncontrollably at the sight of their own belly button lint. Putting it bluntly, let me quote Tristan Tzara “It is not for the sawed-off imps who still worship their navels.” You should pay close attention to the word choice and exact delivery. Getting humorous delivery down in the written word isn’t easy but Ms. Boyle excels at it.


                Relate-able moments are everywhere. You may be familiar with some of this, it is available on her sweet-ass blog, on various Thought Catalog articles, or any kind of conversation you may or may not have had with her. Seeing her comments about Bloggers were pretty close to home, I literally squirmed uncomfortably in my chair, knowing that the entire sentence basically summarized the slight embarrassment associated with blogging. At least that’s been my experience. 


                Upon finishing this book, I felt better. Reading it was like talking through my problems with an old friend. They are there, I know their quirks, they tell me about their experience, and we drink, we drink a whole lot. Megan’s approach to writing is easy, natural, and surprisingly universal. Muumuu House did a great job setting this upon the unsuspecting public. 


                It’s out on November 15th, 2011, a Tuesday. Go here.

MDMA Films: Mumblecore Preview Part II

               Monday, June 20th the Mumblecore mayhem is released to the masses. You should be prepared. This is happening. Another tidbit from the upcoming movie “Mumblecore” has been presented online for your viewing pleasure. I am excited to see how much they managed to throw into a film with minimal money. This is the most heartfelt thing I’ve seen from Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. Let Mumblecore be as good as this whole trailer. I’d like that. 

                We begin with the gorgeous red color. For whatever reason, I respond well to the color. Perhaps it is intended to ‘color’ my experience or viewing of it by literally seeing the scene through rose colored glasses. Or it could just be the cheapness of the computer lighting. Whatever the reason it does alter my reaction to what Megan says.  As she says “Then the next few times we hung out we slept in the same bed” Tao’s head looks up at her at an affectionate angle. Tao gives a little nod and they move on to the next scene. “Aw” came out of my mouth involuntarily with this scene. Calling it adorable wouldn’t do it justice. 

                By using a stark editing technique called “reality” Mumblecore captivates me more than some set-up love story. They use real language. I find set-ups in most romantic films to be corny, cheesy, and pretty boring. With those mass-produced sorts of media they edit out any humanity to create a beautiful, empty glossy package. Here Tao and Megan do the exact opposite. Though the filming is oftentimes blurry the humanity is crystal clear. Humanity and love are the main focuses. After Tao says “I like just being around you” into his hand Megan responds with a simple “Me too.” Keeping it so focused and unencumbered by anything else allows you to connect with the mumbling lovers.

                You see them in the back of a car. Nothing happens. They talk. The red light makes a re-appearance. A song plays on the radio (the only song I hear in the entire trailer). Listening to the song their conversation appears to nearly fit the music. That might be accidental but if so it is a rather delightful accident and an example of what happens around us when we pay attention. 

                Paying attention is what Mumblecore is mainly about. Both of them limit the amount of information you’re given. You’re only given two characters. The limits are what define the movie, how you don’t know Tao’s or Megan’s internal thoughts. Considering what they write you probably could guess what they think or don’t think about. I know some people religiously digest everything either person comes out with or does. Lately Tao has been prolific with writing for “Vice Magazine” and selling some of his possessions on eBay. But knowing what they think isn’t important. You don’t even need to know them that well to feel the connection between the two. 

                I enjoyed the second trailer a lot. Even more than the first it makes me eagerly await its release on MDMA Films.

mdmafilms

mdmafilms:

“TRAILER 1” RE MUMBLECORE (20 JUN 2011, PREORDERABLE HERE)

MDMA Films: Mumblecore Preview

               The darling duo of literary lovers Tao Lin and Megan Boyle have returned for the epic “Mumblecore” movie. Due to open in theaters on June 20th, it is a bit different than their previous outings, meaning less drugs and no Bebe Zeva (sorry). In the preview we see what they did on a normal day. You get a ‘sneak peak’ into their relationship dynamic, something a small but vocal part of the internet wonders loudly about. And no, it isn’t a chill-ass publicity stunt, they are for real. Their love is real. 

                Neither Megan nor Tao are known for their enunciating skills. Personally, I can relate to this dilemma being a low-energy sloth. Since not everyone can understand the joy of mumbled delivery, they included subtitles. This is important. With the subtitles, you’re able to understand the true wit of these two. The mumbling gives the movie its title anyway. 

                Watching the teasingly brief trailer, we’re shown what they do. They read a book together, “Infinite Jest”. Going through Walmart at 2AM, they discover who won the National Book Award. Seeing what they see through their own eyes is great. As they carry their laptop around, you feel like a small child being introduced to a world of wonder. You learn what a “Chocolate Melter” is. Once you understand what the Chocolate Melter can do you realize America is the greatest country that God ever gave humanity. Sean Hannity was right. 

                MDMA Films has a purpose. It focuses on the minute details we overlook. Some people call it ‘boring’ or ‘gimmicky’. I disagree vehemently. Their work strips away all the nonsense we pour on top of stories, on top of Television shows and movies. Little silly details, pointless drama is cut out of the scenario. You’re given a pure, uncut depiction of the events. In a way their movies are extensions of the intensely-focused writing the two of them create.

                I enjoyed the sparseness of the trailer. At moments the trailer felt like a Valentine they made together. The one-minute mark confirms this for me. Seeing the two of them bathed in a red glow feels like their emotions have gained color. I know Tao is known for his famous ‘neutral expressions’ but here he is experiencing emotion. When he was asked on his Facebook profile if he felt emotions, he said he did. “Mumblecore” confirms that fact. Drenched in giddy silliness, you see how two starving artists are able to sustain themselves on love. At the very end of the trailer we see the two of them sitting in silence in a hotel room. That scene reminds me of “Stranger than Paradise” as Eva sits alone in the hotel room, bored. 

                Ultimately I hope they decide to have a premier for their movie. When the movie opens, I want to see Tao and Megan. As they greet people, I will not introduce myself for I am a shy sloth. Instead, I’ll find some non-descript part of the room to hide in, preferably an area with a tree for me to hang upside down on. Or perhaps I might muster all the confidence I can and shake both of their hands. The latter is less likely. 

                In either instance, I want to see Tao and Megan succeed. For too long they have been putting out quality products with little in the traditional definition of ‘money’ or ‘profit’. A rabid, internet-savvy and mostly impoverished fan-base bodes poorly for sales. They give and we take. It is high time we give them something back. On June 20th, let’s make “Mumblecore” the highest-grossing film from MDMA films ever.

MDMA Films: Bebe Zeva Preview 2

   Usually a movie doesn’t get a second trailer. The first one ought to be enough. MDMA Films is no ordinary company. How many films companies decide an entire movie will feature the actors doing drugs the entire time, real drugs, not faking some response. I’ll tell you: precious few. Actors wait until after the filming has ended before acting in such a manner. Just ask Charlie Sheen, ask him how hot that’s working out for him.

                Bebe Zeva comes out March 20th, 2011. Tao and Megan Lin tend to every one of Bebe’s needs, and not needs. Feeding her ice cream, using positive re-enforcement when she does a good job, it seems they are getting in touch with their kind selves. Playlists apparently seem to be a specialty of hers, a gift not all people are granted. I’m glad they came out with this second trailer, which upon first viewing seems pointless (names of people are tightly edited together) but actually makes quite a bit of sense.

                Names pass by, whirling in your mind. References are edited to become only references, perhaps a nod to our culture of constant referencing of other pieces of information. Sure, this did exist before the internet, like political satire, but I feel a lot of information has become ‘ghetto-ized’ meaning people can better and more effectively live inside their own interests with no interaction whatsoever of anything else. For examples, just see how writers cater to a particular crowd, TV caters to a crowd, and music you can hide yourself away in forever. Though I am partial to Tao Lin’s work, so I guess I do this to some degree.

Writers are mentioned besides Tao, Travis McFarland in particular. Carles of Hipster Runoff is mentioned multiple times. Whether or not this is deliberate or a conscious decision on her part is unclear. Editing it in that way shows how she originally started her online career at his infinitely ironic website. 

                Honestly, I get the impression Bebe would’ve been internet famous no matter who she met first, whether it was Carles or some other, possibly nicer blogger. Tao appear to be a far kinder person towards her than Hipster Runoff’s master ever was. Even though Carles is funny and provides occasional insight, keep in mind writers aren’t all kind. William S. Burroughs shot his wife in the head and neglected his son. Despite his failings, he managed to produce some fantastic work. Clearly Carles isn’t this bad, but his treatment of those he features on his blog show a certain callous mean streak. He wants you to ‘get vulnerable’ with him since that’s the easiest way he can break you down. Tao, on the other hand, is the natural friend of Bebe helping her along by doing legitimate work on her documentary. Critics of Tao’s books state his writing allows for a reader’s interpretation, it doesn’t enforce a particular emotion or way it wants you to feel. MDMA Films works in this interpretative vein. 

                All of MDMA Film’s other films lack multiple trailers. Watching this kind of trailer, with all its references, shows off exactly a specific type of culture. Each mention suggests a particular kind of haute indie taste, the kind that I obviously am more than partial to, I embrace it. References take up a larger and larger portion of our lives, allowing for people to sort of create their own universe where they can interact with others.                

 

                I’m not sure how many more trailers these guys are going to put out for Bebe. However many they are, they are worth it. She deserves it.

MDMA Films: Bebe Zeva Preview

                A teaser trailer came out today showing off the relationship between Tao Lin and Bebe Zeva. I’ll be honest; I found some of the earlier video trailers to be nothing more than valentines Tao and Megan made together. With this particular outing, Tao’s discovered a little thing called “Editing”. Usually the previews for most of this stuff appear to be random scenes taken at random. Here he has it formatted in such a way that people might actually want to ‘see’ it.

                I’ll be honest: from the first time I mentioned Tao Lin on here, he’s grown on me. When you first encounter his zany weirdness, you wonder “Is this guy serious? Is it all a ruse?” The more you encounter him, read his books, watch his ‘movies’ the more those answers don’t matter. Basically, you get the impression from this trailer that he and Bebe are good friends. Despite their obvious age differences, they seem to be peas in a pod regarding temperament at least. Seeing them together, their sense of humor meshes well, and they do approach something verging on wit. 

                Megan is in the background for this trailer. Rather than being someone to throw a damp, wet towel on, she is in the background. Maybe their idea is to adopt Bebe, forming an unstoppable trio of zaniness. I can’t even think of how much money they’d get from their parents if they adopted someone, particularly if they don’t actually need to provide her with anything, since she already has parents. I only put this idea out there since Tao’s been trolling his own Though Catalog pieces, asking for somebody to loan him $5000. For a brief moment, I almost offered a $5,000 loan to him, but I decided against it since I’d have to reveal my true identity which he could sell for an additional $12. Didn’t want to risk it, I will need a lot more than that very shortly anyway.

                Watching it, it looks focused. Probably this is the most focused effort I’ve seen from the MDMA films. It has a point, to explore Bebe’s psyche and reveal her innermost thoughts, like how many twitter followers a toothbrush or public toilet seat might have. You know; the really important, core of my existence type of stuff. 

                Perhaps I’m the audience for this: it sure can meander (MDMA films have that as a principle I guess) but it is definitely their most appealing outing. Everything, even the inventions (like how they pretend she’s homeless) is funny. I enjoy things where there’s no concrete plot or organized structure. It appears to have been fairly well-edited and if you’re fond of Bebe or Tao (and many people are fans of both) it offers you something great.

                The biggest selling point is how it may attract new followers to Bebe. Honestly, there was a lot of ambivalence about who was cooler: Bebe or Project Girl on the hit blog Hipster Runoff. Now the two seem to be working together. And if you didn’t like Bebe before, either finding her too haughty or self-aware, this is a good place to realize why she became the model for Hipster Runoff. She seems actually really nice in this, like a person you’d want to be friends with. 

                Easily this is the best MDMA films trailer ever. One might be tempted to buy it for reasons other than Tao Lin/Megan Boyle charity and it is out now. Perhaps I judged the project wrong; this little glimpse is making me almost re-consider my original harsh assessment of their idea. I’ll have more of an open mind for their future previews. 

                In closing:

                “You’re the cutest homeless girl I have ever met in my life.”