Beach Sloth

what purpose did i serve in your life by Marie Calloway

                If you are into romantic pirate novels Marie Calloway’s book may not interest you. For those of you who wonder ‘What has Marie Calloway been doing lately?’ the answer is simple: she got a book deal. 2013 prepare yourself: Marie Calloway is coming for you. Tyrant Books brings out this wretched vile greatness. Have I read it? Has Marie even written it? These questions do not matter and are stupid. 

                People’s reactions have been overwhelmingly positive. One fan created a Marie Calloway fan page on Facebook. When people begin creating Facebook pages for you, you are doing something right. She has been putting out Google Doc books left and right. Do not forget her unforgettable Facebook profile of her looking like a Marie Calloway. Her gaze at nothing specifically has inspired more than basic Marie Calloway Facebook fan pages. 

                High quality videos are another aspect of Marie’s online persona. These are made by Pooh’s friend ‘Eeyore’. This cryptic, some say ‘Lynchian’, YouTube user creates a show similar to ‘I <3 Lucy’ except it is about Marie Calloway. Eeyore is a sad friend of Pooh bear. Thankfully a sunglasses-clad individual who remains unnamed translates Eeyore’s depressed ramblings. Marie offers nothing but support for this clinically depressed Eeyore. Unfortunately Eeyore will never know true joy for his dream is to be a horse and he is a mere donkey. But donkeys can do great things. 

                 Though few know this Marie Calloway has another alias: it is Shannon Marie Calloway. She is an important part of World Wrestling Entertainment. Look at her with her ability to ‘rock the house’ or whatever it is wrestlers do. Wrestlers are the inheritors of Shakespeare’s way with words. Makes sense Marie Calloway would be a wrestler. She walks through dark alleys ready to pummel her critics into submission. Truly this is a rare look into the hidden world of a hidden alias-riddled person. Marie Calloway is a wrestler during her free time. Wrestling pays. Alt lit and wrestling aren’t so different anyway. 

                I am excited about Marie Calloway’s new book. My kids are even more excited than I am about a full length Marie Calloway book. Every night I read them one Marie Calloway story to help them go to bed. Usually I read them a short Marie Calloway story like ‘Adrien Brody’ which only takes me several hours to read. Hope in Marie’s full-length feature book there will be lots of pictures so my kids can follow along. Get pumped for this Pro-Wrestler’s first book!