Beach Sloth

THIS IS HAPPENING WHETHER U LIKE IT… 3

                Never before, in the history of my blogging sloth life have I needed a Spreecast like this one. Life can be a challenge. I’m a slow sloth. I can barely keep up with this fast-paced human world. All these things keep on rushing past. While I crawl I think ‘Why bother? I could take a nap instead’. Yet I continue onward towards a bigger and bloggier future. Seeing Steve Roggenbuck scream in front of a laptop for hours at a time makes me believe in humanity. Steve is one of the freest people on the planet. Out of all my friends, IRL, online, whatever, Steve appears to have figured out exactly what he enjoys doing with his life. I feel if Siddhartha met Steve Roggenbuck early in life he could have saved himself a whole heap of trouble.

                Tom Melton, Cole, Amy Saul-Zerby and I were the first five in the Spreecast. We refer to ourselves as ‘Steve heads’. For we keep tabs on the trials and tribulations of the young bucking Roggenbuck. If I had the money and the time I’d probably follow Steve around the country. My review section would include bus trip reviews on a 0.0 to 10.0 scale. Of course bus trips depend on the album I’m listening to, how much seat I get, the amount of leg room, and whether or not I bring a ‘Trail Mix’. A single trail mix can turn a bad bus ride into a glad bus ride. That’s how I get around this great big Eastern Corridor. My other transportation is a laptop. I rely on that for now. 

                Jacked up plans are in the works. Steve states his hopes and dreams are going to come true. Get Goth sponsors the event. The chatroom hears the plan that is going to change the world. Cole states ‘sounds like Timothy Leary’s place minus LSD’. An idea for an ‘Alt Lit House’ may happen. Is this the happiest thing I’ve heard all week? I think it is. Here Steve goes into detail about how such a thing may work. Creativity is one of the best things you can have in life. Being creative is what makes me who I am. Such a house can help encourage me. Is it time for alt lit to get a commune? I think so. Perhaps it is time to finally be surrounded by alt lit instead of reviewing them from afar. 

                Laura Broadbent has a book coming out on Snare books called ‘Oh There You Are I Can’t See You Is It Raining?’ I like her reading voice. The MC of the event explains this is her first public reading. For the occasion she busts out the book learning. 

                Alex Manley follows. Several call him the ‘Rap Game Robert Frost’. Here he goes into the backlash of those hockey fans. Here he describes the ‘six year old please fuck me eyes’. From here he explains the idea of a ‘blowjob’. Alex explains every possible crevice of the blowjob. He uses his mouth to do this, through delivering words. 

                Ali Pinkey reads poetry. Her content follows after Alex’s quite nicely. I like how her voice quivers at the right place. Each time she says ‘o’ is amazing. The way it sounds rounded is particularly fine. Clearly Ali’s work embodied the general ‘GOTH’ theme of the evening. Slippery ends her set. 

                Ashley Oppenheim is loved like a rainbow by Guillaume. The chatroom gets a shout-out from Ashley. I think she is extremely good of her as she probably knows she’ll end up on a blog someday for her online support. ‘You are so special’ begins her reading. Global organisms can be a thing. For her reading she kneels because she worships the audience. ‘Every breath I take I’m like whoa this is crazy’ is a surprisingly funny line. 

                Guillaume Morissette introduces a piece from his new book. ‘New Tab’ is the name. When is it coming out? Nobody knows. This is a going to be a novel. Here it happens to be quite funny. Delivery-wise Guillaume is pretty good, he has a delivery that is all his own. Montreal gets a rare sneak peak at this highly anticipated as fuck book. 

                Steve Roggenbuck rises up. ‘Get Goth’ becomes a chant. *SPOILER ALERT* Apparently Steve does NOT have a dog. That’s crazy.. Dogs dislike Tao Lin’s work. How unfortunate. ‘All I do is post on the internet and sleep’ is brought out for the Montreal audience. Expect to see Steve in your dreams. Steve currently uses a hashtag on twitter about how hot he is. What makes it exciting is that this poem starts the same way and then becomes a different, almost conversational thing. Two new poems are introduced to the audience. First one is when he gets lost. The other one is when you are 60. 

                It ends like all readings end with the hugging of a fluffy dinosaur. That’s Canada for you: all about the dinosaurs, flower Goth girls, and assorted Canadians. Yep it is a beautiful country. Hope someday I can visit America’s northern Ned Flanders.