Crisp by Iris Karuna


                Hell is not the hippest way to go. Hell is common. Everybody goes to Hell. All cool kids go to Heaven. For the record the cool kids in Heaven are the cool kids from post-high school. Kids who are cool in high school aren’t cool anywhere else. Basically high school cool kids see their lives shrink down to nothing after high school. Nothing from high school means anything anyway. College and post-college, yeah that’s the ticket. Wounds from high school can be bandaged up. Hurts from high school are pretty painful. Yeah they’ll last a while, perhaps a lifetime. Yet it is better than a lifetime of hurt. Four years seems about right. The only way to get something meaningful in high school is to kiss someone square on the mouth, or perhaps take it further. It depends on the person. 

                OK Cupid brings people together only to tear them apart with the harsh light of reality. Writer’s block on OK Cupid doesn’t matter. Nobody can write on OK Cupid. Profiles on OK Cupid remain the best written dating profiles on the internet though that’s not saying much. That’s saying precious little. Every piece of poetry dedicated to OK Cupid is better than OK Cupid itself. Yes searches on OK Cupid yield little. When those searches do work that is a beautiful thing. Technology wants people to hook up. That’s what technology is for, for making sweet love probably. 

                Possessions are clutter. How many things does a person need? It isn’t a hypothetical question. Clothing is allegedly necessary. Many things serve little purpose. Anything else can be found online. Ordering food can happen online. Bills are paid online. Love is online. Gifts deserve to be online. Plenty of things haven’t been fully translated over to the internet yet. Affirmation that’s online. Affection belongs online. Christmas isn’t online yet. Give it time and someday Santa Claus will be online. That’ll save him serious time, effort, and energy. 

                Red means stop. Psychologically it implies that things need to suddenly stop. The ‘ON’ button glows red for most devices. Red scares people a little bit. Maybe it has to do with all that red kept deep inside in the heart places, the blood places, and the food places. All those places are painted red. Little parts of the world are painted red due to mineral, oxidation, to make places more metal. Everything can be red or will be. When embarrassment happens, that’s just blood trying to escape the body because it can’t handle the stupidity. Blood is the wimpiest part of the body.

Crisp by Iris Karuna

                Hell is not the hippest way to go. Hell is common. Everybody goes to Hell. All cool kids go to Heaven. For the record the cool kids in Heaven are the cool kids from post-high school. Kids who are cool in high school aren’t cool anywhere else. Basically high school cool kids see their lives shrink down to nothing after high school. Nothing from high school means anything anyway. College and post-college, yeah that’s the ticket. Wounds from high school can be bandaged up. Hurts from high school are pretty painful. Yeah they’ll last a while, perhaps a lifetime. Yet it is better than a lifetime of hurt. Four years seems about right. The only way to get something meaningful in high school is to kiss someone square on the mouth, or perhaps take it further. It depends on the person. 

                OK Cupid brings people together only to tear them apart with the harsh light of reality. Writer’s block on OK Cupid doesn’t matter. Nobody can write on OK Cupid. Profiles on OK Cupid remain the best written dating profiles on the internet though that’s not saying much. That’s saying precious little. Every piece of poetry dedicated to OK Cupid is better than OK Cupid itself. Yes searches on OK Cupid yield little. When those searches do work that is a beautiful thing. Technology wants people to hook up. That’s what technology is for, for making sweet love probably. 

                Possessions are clutter. How many things does a person need? It isn’t a hypothetical question. Clothing is allegedly necessary. Many things serve little purpose. Anything else can be found online. Ordering food can happen online. Bills are paid online. Love is online. Gifts deserve to be online. Plenty of things haven’t been fully translated over to the internet yet. Affirmation that’s online. Affection belongs online. Christmas isn’t online yet. Give it time and someday Santa Claus will be online. That’ll save him serious time, effort, and energy. 

                Red means stop. Psychologically it implies that things need to suddenly stop. The ‘ON’ button glows red for most devices. Red scares people a little bit. Maybe it has to do with all that red kept deep inside in the heart places, the blood places, and the food places. All those places are painted red. Little parts of the world are painted red due to mineral, oxidation, to make places more metal. Everything can be red or will be. When embarrassment happens, that’s just blood trying to escape the body because it can’t handle the stupidity. Blood is the wimpiest part of the body.

txtbook by Iris Karuna


                Gel pens are swell pens. They make the world more colorful. During the winter when everything is gray gel pens are there to brighten the day. Blowing into a gel pen is a bad idea. Air doesn’t do anything for the insides of a gel pen besides dry them out. To be a pen is to know the pain of dry flaky insides. Poor pens live a life of dictation. No pen has ever written a book, somebody always has to force them to take down mostly terrible ideas. Someday a pen will begin its first novel. Will a pen ever finish penning a novel? It is hard to say. 

                Riverbeds rule. Water likes to drop things off every now and then. Pieces of filth make their way to the bottoms of rivers. Fish fecal matter floats to the bottom, right next to the fish eggs. Down on the riverbed fish eggs can hang out. Hopefully fish embryos don’t think about their parents too much. Every fish parent is a total deadbeat. Unfortunately riverbeds offer only a resting place for fish eggs. Otherwise the fish eggs are alone. Growing up lonely will only encourage those future fish eggs to do the same thing. When will the cycle of cruel life end and the cycle of caring begin?

                Advice lists feel Myspace. Myspace used to be the place for countless lists. The brave new world of Facebook fails to mention lists. No list exists on Facebook. Friends are there. How many of those friends are deep friends and how many are networked friends, friends of friends that will maybe be met at some point in the distant future. Here the list mentions qualities in a perspective partner. One of them is excitement. Not everybody gets excited in the same way. Some get more excited than others. For some people sleeping is the most exciting part of their day for in dreams they are Vikings. 

                New pillows deserve every ounce of excitement. Drinking in the sweetness of a new pillow, that’s a wonderful feeling. To sleep on a new pillow is to conquer a new land with one’s head. Sleep does that. Having sleeping companions is extremely important for this reason. There needs to be someone there to help ‘break in’ the pillow. 

                Every space in every place has a ghost. In some homes the ghost just helps with the shades. Ghosts can be more intrusive. Making noises is what ghosts do best. Only really angry ghosts make a lot of commotion. Typically ghosts realize they are getting free housing so they keep quiet. The best part of being a ghost is no money no problems no mortality. Ghost ‘life’ is beautiful to behold.

txtbook by Iris Karuna

                Gel pens are swell pens. They make the world more colorful. During the winter when everything is gray gel pens are there to brighten the day. Blowing into a gel pen is a bad idea. Air doesn’t do anything for the insides of a gel pen besides dry them out. To be a pen is to know the pain of dry flaky insides. Poor pens live a life of dictation. No pen has ever written a book, somebody always has to force them to take down mostly terrible ideas. Someday a pen will begin its first novel. Will a pen ever finish penning a novel? It is hard to say. 

                Riverbeds rule. Water likes to drop things off every now and then. Pieces of filth make their way to the bottoms of rivers. Fish fecal matter floats to the bottom, right next to the fish eggs. Down on the riverbed fish eggs can hang out. Hopefully fish embryos don’t think about their parents too much. Every fish parent is a total deadbeat. Unfortunately riverbeds offer only a resting place for fish eggs. Otherwise the fish eggs are alone. Growing up lonely will only encourage those future fish eggs to do the same thing. When will the cycle of cruel life end and the cycle of caring begin?

                Advice lists feel Myspace. Myspace used to be the place for countless lists. The brave new world of Facebook fails to mention lists. No list exists on Facebook. Friends are there. How many of those friends are deep friends and how many are networked friends, friends of friends that will maybe be met at some point in the distant future. Here the list mentions qualities in a perspective partner. One of them is excitement. Not everybody gets excited in the same way. Some get more excited than others. For some people sleeping is the most exciting part of their day for in dreams they are Vikings. 

                New pillows deserve every ounce of excitement. Drinking in the sweetness of a new pillow, that’s a wonderful feeling. To sleep on a new pillow is to conquer a new land with one’s head. Sleep does that. Having sleeping companions is extremely important for this reason. There needs to be someone there to help ‘break in’ the pillow. 

                Every space in every place has a ghost. In some homes the ghost just helps with the shades. Ghosts can be more intrusive. Making noises is what ghosts do best. Only really angry ghosts make a lot of commotion. Typically ghosts realize they are getting free housing so they keep quiet. The best part of being a ghost is no money no problems no mortality. Ghost ‘life’ is beautiful to behold.

crying in Canadian Tire by Iris Karuna


                Backs cracks are the best cracks. This happens. Iris breathes deeply when she wants to obtain the perfect posture. Sure Toronto watches her face. Toronto has nothing better to do with its time. Places can be extraordinarily boring in Canada. That’s part of the Canadian slogan: Clean calm and carry on. Long ago Canada put that slogan everywhere to make sure its citizens remained boring. To date that remains the most successful advertising campaign in history. 

                Canadian Tire makes Iris cry. Canadian Tire is beautiful. Iris is in love with the uncaring store. It equips Canadians for the jobs and joys of everyday life. On their site they put it as ‘every day’ which is incorrect. Is the space necessary? What can be put in the space between every and day to make it truly remarkable? Iris remembers those who didn’t care about her but at least knew they weren’t caring. Exes know this important fact. When exes un-friend people on Facebook they have this kept in their mind as an important part of growing up. Growing up can mean forgetting others. Time does this to people brings them apart. 

                Iris asks the tough questions from ex-lovers. Do they miss her? Perhaps they do it is impossible to tell without referring to the exes own chapbook. Hence there is no point of reference. She wants to know if they miss her ass. Do they? It is worth asking. Asses are important assets. With asses one can sit down on a chair or a floor. Without an ass life would be hard. As a wise man once said ‘I’d hate to live an ass-less life’. Books are left at Iris’s place, reminders of previous relationships. Everybody has these mementos of previous lovers, various socks, pairs of pants, books, pens, etc. 

                Alone is the best time to experience Tumblr. Every picture on Tumblr reminds one of loneliness. Nobody ever scrolls through Tumblr with friends. Scrolling through Tumblr is the epitome of being alone. Who cares about Tumblr? It is generally pointless. Lots of images shared over and over again. The emotional heft of Tumblr is of the EMO kid grown up into an EMO-twenty something with better taste in music and a job. Iris holds her ribs down. Generally skin serves that function. This is worrisome. Hopefully Iris’s skin can start doing its job again. 

                The chapbook ends with a shout-out to Christmas. Because Christmastime is almost near. For many it is the saddest time of year. This holiday season remember that life can be lonely. Hug somebody.

crying in Canadian Tire by Iris Karuna

                Backs cracks are the best cracks. This happens. Iris breathes deeply when she wants to obtain the perfect posture. Sure Toronto watches her face. Toronto has nothing better to do with its time. Places can be extraordinarily boring in Canada. That’s part of the Canadian slogan: Clean calm and carry on. Long ago Canada put that slogan everywhere to make sure its citizens remained boring. To date that remains the most successful advertising campaign in history. 

                Canadian Tire makes Iris cry. Canadian Tire is beautiful. Iris is in love with the uncaring store. It equips Canadians for the jobs and joys of everyday life. On their site they put it as ‘every day’ which is incorrect. Is the space necessary? What can be put in the space between every and day to make it truly remarkable? Iris remembers those who didn’t care about her but at least knew they weren’t caring. Exes know this important fact. When exes un-friend people on Facebook they have this kept in their mind as an important part of growing up. Growing up can mean forgetting others. Time does this to people brings them apart. 

                Iris asks the tough questions from ex-lovers. Do they miss her? Perhaps they do it is impossible to tell without referring to the exes own chapbook. Hence there is no point of reference. She wants to know if they miss her ass. Do they? It is worth asking. Asses are important assets. With asses one can sit down on a chair or a floor. Without an ass life would be hard. As a wise man once said ‘I’d hate to live an ass-less life’. Books are left at Iris’s place, reminders of previous relationships. Everybody has these mementos of previous lovers, various socks, pairs of pants, books, pens, etc. 

                Alone is the best time to experience Tumblr. Every picture on Tumblr reminds one of loneliness. Nobody ever scrolls through Tumblr with friends. Scrolling through Tumblr is the epitome of being alone. Who cares about Tumblr? It is generally pointless. Lots of images shared over and over again. The emotional heft of Tumblr is of the EMO kid grown up into an EMO-twenty something with better taste in music and a job. Iris holds her ribs down. Generally skin serves that function. This is worrisome. Hopefully Iris’s skin can start doing its job again. 

                The chapbook ends with a shout-out to Christmas. Because Christmastime is almost near. For many it is the saddest time of year. This holiday season remember that life can be lonely. Hug somebody.

I am writing an e-book to get things off my mind by Iris Karuna



                Iris is a collector. Nail polish is a currency in some areas. People use nail polish to pay off their mortgages. Others think nail polish is sexy. Many more have nails painted to prevent nibbling. People chew on their nails all the time because they are Zombies, Zombies terrible at their job. Besides nail polish Iris collects words. Years from now she’ll exchange those words for respect. That’s called ‘being articulate’ and it affords a marginal amount of respect. 

                Bagels anger Iris. Good bagels are easy to cut. They’re soft. Hard bagels have done prison time; hard bagels don’t give a fuck. Knives can’t cut hardened bagels. No knife show can hurt the hardened bagels. Iris is a knife girl wanting to mess up those delectable breakfast treats. Yet each time the bagels defeat her. She cuts her hand. The hard bagels laugh. Next time she should use those microwavable bagels that have given up on life, frozen, longing for death. Frozen bagels are the most depressed creature in the frozen food aisle. 

                This e-book is written to get her mind off things. Life is crazy. Everybody knows it. Yet people wake up and participate in this crazy world. Iris deforests her mind to prepare for the Zen of e-books. In e-books nobody can spell check your words. PDF form refuses to do that for anybody. Spelling errors glare at their readers, hoping to simply sting themselves into the mind. Iris avoids spelling errors. Thankfully she does not avoid being EMO. Poets need to be EMO. Well-balanced poets are boring. Happy needs sad. 

                Shy people catch her eye. Those who say little often steal eyesight. That’s part of their scheme. Once the shy people have everybody’s eyes that are when they’ll start talking. Loquacious ones will wonder who is speaking. They’d never heard those voices before. When they hear the new voices they’ll realize they are totally doomed. The shy steal inherit the Earth. 

                 Virgins tend to hang out with each other. Iris doesn’t know what a virgin was as a child. She thought it was something religious, like the Virgin Mary. It is weird since not everybody in the Bible is a virgin. Jesus may or may not have been virgin. The Bible writer bros never state it with any level of accuracy. Omitting that important fact is a bit obnoxious as that means they were bad gossips. How could people follow around a guy for so long and not talk about him behind his back? Perhaps if Judas shit-talked Jesus he might not have betrayed him. 

                It ends with a pizza. Iris serves herself up as a pizza. This is the perfect ending to any e-book. Every e-book reader is a pizza lover, not a pizza fighter.

I am writing an e-book to get things off my mind by Iris Karuna

                Iris is a collector. Nail polish is a currency in some areas. People use nail polish to pay off their mortgages. Others think nail polish is sexy. Many more have nails painted to prevent nibbling. People chew on their nails all the time because they are Zombies, Zombies terrible at their job. Besides nail polish Iris collects words. Years from now she’ll exchange those words for respect. That’s called ‘being articulate’ and it affords a marginal amount of respect. 

                Bagels anger Iris. Good bagels are easy to cut. They’re soft. Hard bagels have done prison time; hard bagels don’t give a fuck. Knives can’t cut hardened bagels. No knife show can hurt the hardened bagels. Iris is a knife girl wanting to mess up those delectable breakfast treats. Yet each time the bagels defeat her. She cuts her hand. The hard bagels laugh. Next time she should use those microwavable bagels that have given up on life, frozen, longing for death. Frozen bagels are the most depressed creature in the frozen food aisle. 

                This e-book is written to get her mind off things. Life is crazy. Everybody knows it. Yet people wake up and participate in this crazy world. Iris deforests her mind to prepare for the Zen of e-books. In e-books nobody can spell check your words. PDF form refuses to do that for anybody. Spelling errors glare at their readers, hoping to simply sting themselves into the mind. Iris avoids spelling errors. Thankfully she does not avoid being EMO. Poets need to be EMO. Well-balanced poets are boring. Happy needs sad. 

                Shy people catch her eye. Those who say little often steal eyesight. That’s part of their scheme. Once the shy people have everybody’s eyes that are when they’ll start talking. Loquacious ones will wonder who is speaking. They’d never heard those voices before. When they hear the new voices they’ll realize they are totally doomed. The shy steal inherit the Earth. 

                 Virgins tend to hang out with each other. Iris doesn’t know what a virgin was as a child. She thought it was something religious, like the Virgin Mary. It is weird since not everybody in the Bible is a virgin. Jesus may or may not have been virgin. The Bible writer bros never state it with any level of accuracy. Omitting that important fact is a bit obnoxious as that means they were bad gossips. How could people follow around a guy for so long and not talk about him behind his back? Perhaps if Judas shit-talked Jesus he might not have betrayed him. 

                It ends with a pizza. Iris serves herself up as a pizza. This is the perfect ending to any e-book. Every e-book reader is a pizza lover, not a pizza fighter.