Beach Sloth

Satanic Summer: An Evening of Bizarro and Alt Lit Readings

               Steve Roggenbuck is post-applecore. Do I even need to explain what that means? It is obvious. According to an online interview held on a Facebook comment, Steve stated ‘when people look back on my lief work, they wil refer to “pre johnny appleseed comment” / “post johnny apple seed comment” this is a turneing poitn in my lief’. Clearly Steve’s life changed the moment this comment dropped like a bag of red-hot, delicious apples forged in the pits of the most hellish hell. They are satanic apples. 

                Alt lit stripping came up. Stripping follows childhood. Two people came up as alt lit strippers: Matt Margo and Gabby Gabby. Only one emerged. It was amazing. Gabby won. I am proud of Gabby. Her online presence is positive. She uses her powers for good. I am excited about her ‘Illuminati Girl Gang’ release coming out soon. Please look for it. It will change your life.

                Bradley Sands read first. I like him. He’s bizarro. The bald head and glasses really complete his persona. Love his style. Some of the viewers were like ‘OMG I love him’. Most of those viewers were me. A waitress touches his arm in a diner. Bradley’s titles are strange things. They give a hint of the weird, but nothing as strange as the story. Giraffes and the hit series ‘The Tudors’ come together in one story. It is beautiful. David Lynch directs a Muppet movie ‘The Muppets take the Inland Empire’. When kids talk about getting wasted from literature, they talk about Bradley Sands. Bradley’s reading made me drunk off weird. 

                Keegan Crawford came up. Alt lit is represented by Keegan. Death relieves stress. I like how he set the Crayola factory on fire. He read a list of colors. The simplicity is funny. For a while he read from his twitter feed. Tweet readings are a big, growing thing. The ending of his reading was fantastically tender. 

                Cameron Piece is one of those ‘bizarro’ readers. You can tell. Suitcases contain cat sweaters. 500 sweaters for his Rupert are ideal. I like the flub of Shakespeare, this is manly stuff. The book talks about living in the middle of the woods, writing poems, and hanging out with a cat. Bananas appear to take up a large part of his writing. Narwhals are funny. Audiences adore narwhals. Now you know. ‘Where my narwhals at?’ Cameron exclaimed. 

                Diana appeared. I dig Diana a lot. This is rare. I have read all of Diana’s work. She is one of the few writers I consider myself ‘familiar with’. She wears PJs. For the first couple minutes she read about dead people. Romance appeared out of the death. Love the death life. Her heart wants to bust out of her chest. She may have an alien living in there. Rural life and rural love are compatible except for the whole texting thing. 

                Mykle Hansen told everyone he was drunk. He suggested if he ended up being a bad reader you could throw things at him. Satan was with Mykle. It is heavy into the bizarro. Bizarre pop references are woven into the book’s DNA. ‘Dark Clambait’ won the Oscar for best Stephen King movie. Stephen King comes up a lot in the book. Dates are tough for Mykle. ‘Let’s go to the hospital and unplug things’ – the best line of the whole reading. Dig the ‘horror stories for toddlers’. Things go down from there. Carrie tortures the poor man very erotically. He’s really funny. ‘She called me pet names – like Cretin’. After a while she started to stop torturing him. 

                Steve Roggenbuck freaking ended it. The amount of energy he brought was ridiculous. For a moment he discussed the darkness of his video blogs. Crunk Juice was read. Unholy fruits are grown in hell. ‘Dead Girl you are dead’. Satan helps Steve’s poetry. Blood chokes Steve. That is really satanic. I like how Steve integrates the online with the offline. Steve loves birds more than humans. Poems are determined by darkness. Illuminati chapters are set up across the country Steve explained. Bieber came up in the reading since this is Steve freaking Roggenbuck. Romance busts itself out of the darkness. Darkness can only exist with the light. New poems were brought out. Steve brings out the ‘new poetry’ from Spokane, Washington. These were rather lovely poems. He fricks like crazy. Feel Steve can use poetry as a strange series of pickup lines. 

                Of course it ends with a 666. Satan rules summertime.