Beach Sloth

I am ready to die a violent death by Heiko Julien

               Dogs are fakers for love. We smile to reassure each other. It gets easier. This isn’t perfect but we can make it better. I smile because I can. Happiness is free. You pay nothing to be happy. Figure out what you want out of life. Grab it out. Call it your own. Life offers so many things to purchase but we can survive on far less. Right now I want to determine what it is I need and don’t need out of life. People are becoming more important to me. 

                Marriage in a McDonalds makes sense. Ronald McDonald is an ordained minister. However if you have a wedding in Burger King you can have it your way. For some people that’s enough. America is full of this kind of opportunity. Explore America’s forests for where Nickelodeon’s green slime lives. The green slime had a good run. Now it is retired and hunts acorns in its spare time. Pink slime is green slime’s ancestor when it immigrated to the United States through Ellis Island. 

                TV influences my life less and less. We are the Post-TV generation. Imagine a media you can interact with every day. Yes this place has a name. It is the internet. Pitching TV ideas is great but NCIS spinoffs are all TV executives want. Sabrina the Teenage Witch changed my life. Before that I never trusted cats. Now I know they make the world a better place. Cats are the nannies of witches. Satire can be sad when your life is a joke.

                Introducing himself to the ladies is a good idea. An entire chapter dedicated to it may work. Wonder if relationships have ever started due to some dude writing a poem first. I know MIX CDs never work. I know this from experience. Someday I want to make the perfect MIX CD, the kind of MIX CD that will bring people to tears. Yes Heiko is in love with the reader. He makes puns. Puns are for lovers. The ‘thyme’ pun is funny but rather absurd. I like it. 

                Heiko’s dad worked hard for the money. Advertisement genres need a creator. Simple fact about me: my dad created the ‘Meow Mix’ advertisement genre where a cat says ‘Meow’ a lot of times. I accept my role as his oldest son, one of seven children. TV was the grandpa I never knew. I remember watching old dudes on TV and projecting their traits on grandfathers I never knew or met. Yes growing up on TV changed my life forever. I felt less alone and less interactive. 

                Three bowls of Oatmeal per day? Heiko lives my dream. I wish I could afford that much oatmeal. Rather than do that I search around the office looking for various free foods to consume. I want to save my money for when I’m old and lazy. Think that’s called ‘retirement’. Hope I can retire soon. Work is stupid. 

                Meteors bring us to the end. It makes sense meteors end it. Heiko did talk about wanting to die a violent death. This is exactly what he wanted.