The Odyssean Machine by Heath Ison



                Everything begins with a toothbrush. It is important to practice proper dental hygiene. The young strapping lad knows precious little about life’s many mysteries. However the young strapping lad does know about the importance of good dental care. With each brush he cleans his mouth a little bit more yet he can never clean his sick twisted mind. A fly landing in front of him reminds him of how ultimately pointless life can be. Unlike humans, flies do not perceive themselves in a negative light. Flies like basic social decorum. Flies land wherever they like. Sometimes flies land on piles of dung. Despite not knowing where the fly had been before arriving in front of the character it can be assumed that the place was a vile contemptible place. 

                 The young strapping lad does pushups. Once more this shows that the character cares greatly about how others view him. Man tits are nothing to be ashamed of. Had the young strapping lad simply embraced his man tits perhaps he would have been happier. By removing the man tits he shows how much he wants the rest of the world to care. Does this mean that the young strapping lad is some ‘out of control’ sexpot? Yes it does. With great man tits comes great responsibility. And clearly the young strapping lad wants none of that responsibility, none of it at all. 

                Pictures are sent to the young strapping lad. These are of highly pornographic nature. Some readers may find such images objectionable. Viewers are advised. Who is also advised is the young strapping lad. Right as she is showing off her body to him he sees her wedding finger. Here he really tries to hit on her pretty hard by buying her food. As he is quite the gentleman he texts her asking if they are going to fuck. Honestly this is a courteous thing to do. When two people really like each other they should send sexy-ass texts to each other. Upon receiving the sexy-ass texts they should be turned on in a distinctly ‘horny’ type manner. These sexy-ass texts, or sexts in the parlance of the time, are an honored tradition in all parts of the world. Things appear to be working out for the young strapping lad. 

                By the time the young strapping lad goes to work things go very differently. Work is the breadwinner of the asses. Thanks to work millions of otherwise shitty people have a reason to enforce their awful views on everyone. Here too the work ruins the young strapping lad’s life. He gets drugged by invisible hands. The bathroom offers him no comfort. Further and further away the main character goes from life as he enters a crazed new dream realm where people lack faces and emotional definition. This is better known as ‘going corporate’ and people aspire to it every day.

The Odyssean Machine by Heath Ison

                Everything begins with a toothbrush. It is important to practice proper dental hygiene. The young strapping lad knows precious little about life’s many mysteries. However the young strapping lad does know about the importance of good dental care. With each brush he cleans his mouth a little bit more yet he can never clean his sick twisted mind. A fly landing in front of him reminds him of how ultimately pointless life can be. Unlike humans, flies do not perceive themselves in a negative light. Flies like basic social decorum. Flies land wherever they like. Sometimes flies land on piles of dung. Despite not knowing where the fly had been before arriving in front of the character it can be assumed that the place was a vile contemptible place. 

                 The young strapping lad does pushups. Once more this shows that the character cares greatly about how others view him. Man tits are nothing to be ashamed of. Had the young strapping lad simply embraced his man tits perhaps he would have been happier. By removing the man tits he shows how much he wants the rest of the world to care. Does this mean that the young strapping lad is some ‘out of control’ sexpot? Yes it does. With great man tits comes great responsibility. And clearly the young strapping lad wants none of that responsibility, none of it at all. 

                Pictures are sent to the young strapping lad. These are of highly pornographic nature. Some readers may find such images objectionable. Viewers are advised. Who is also advised is the young strapping lad. Right as she is showing off her body to him he sees her wedding finger. Here he really tries to hit on her pretty hard by buying her food. As he is quite the gentleman he texts her asking if they are going to fuck. Honestly this is a courteous thing to do. When two people really like each other they should send sexy-ass texts to each other. Upon receiving the sexy-ass texts they should be turned on in a distinctly ‘horny’ type manner. These sexy-ass texts, or sexts in the parlance of the time, are an honored tradition in all parts of the world. Things appear to be working out for the young strapping lad. 

                By the time the young strapping lad goes to work things go very differently. Work is the breadwinner of the asses. Thanks to work millions of otherwise shitty people have a reason to enforce their awful views on everyone. Here too the work ruins the young strapping lad’s life. He gets drugged by invisible hands. The bathroom offers him no comfort. Further and further away the main character goes from life as he enters a crazed new dream realm where people lack faces and emotional definition. This is better known as ‘going corporate’ and people aspire to it every day.



Poetry Made of Diamonds by Everybody




                A couple of Chicago bros profess their love for Cassandra Gillig. She is beyond flattered, post-flattered in fact. Few know this but she used to be a crab. This should give all crabs a special kind of hope. Crabs can become people. It should give hope for all sorts of gross sea creatures. Beach-dwellers recognize that sad crab walk. While Cassandra may have been happier as a crab she loves her new human life. Several say hi to the chat including Woods, Dierks, and a beautiful white dog. 

                Cean Gamalinda reads about the pearls for the drowning man. Poor Cean is upstaged for a beautiful white dog. ‘HOWL 2’ comes up thanks to Steve’s suggestion. Cean calls it ‘HOWL 3’ because he doesn’t give any fuck. Elliot Smith becomes Skillrex Smith. Hope Cean is cautious. Many Skrillex fans get really angry about their hero. Good thing Cean is able to sing a happy song about George. ‘Red Lobster’ receives free promotion. For Cean’s Red Lobster shout-out he gets a free basket of cheesy bread. ‘Post-YOLO’ is a new thing. Here Cean hopes for a 40, many times since he is a poet and perhaps an alcoholic. Unflushed toilets are dedicated to his love. That is a lot of toilets. Apparently he has a ton of love. He even brings out an X-Files comparison. X-Files are the most romantic TV show from the 90s. 

                Chadwick Redden makes it out to Chicago. Normally he chills out in Indianapolis. Yet this is one of his few Chicago appearances. Shutterstock gets some wonderful attention. Many of these search terms for the images are wonderful. A happy photographer makes a ton of money for what he does. Erotic shutterstock images take up much of the poem. Key words and phrases for the erotic seashell: for shell lovers, for tiny crabs to have a beach house, a beach blanket bingo, and beach parties. One picture of a knob is for knob enthusiast. The best one: for barely legal brass knobbers, knob sex. 

                  Many approach the internet. Though they are in a real life poetry reading they feel the need to come close to the computer. People smoke cigarettes. Everybody wants Cassandra Gillig. No matter who is going up to the computer they all know Cassandra Gillig. Probably Cassandra Gillig misses her sweet, sweet city. Mason Johnson looks like Mason Johnson. He does an exceptional job of fulfilling his goals of being himself. 

                Jeannette Gomes reads about porn stars in her poetry. She’s been in all these cool, hip publications. Out of nowhere she screams out of pure enthusiasm. If ‘bubbly’ was a person and not just a type of alcohol beverage, well Jeannette Gomes would be it. Her sheer joy for life is admirable particularly in the depressive alt lit scene. 

                Heath Ison gets into the faces of the internet. People in real life are paying attention. The delivery is quite nice. Every word flows from the other word flows from the other word. He asks people to make him look like a shit-bag. This is a hard thing to do. Obviously he is challenging the audience. Chat room residents question his height, his determination. 

                Rachel Hyman reads with attitude. Her narration is between Judge Judy and a defendant. ‘I would never urinate on a woman of your stature’ the defendant states. Pangur Ban Party receives a reputable and well-deserved ‘shout out’. This is the real life party of the pangurs. She promises to come for the moon soon because she wants to ‘mess up’ the moon. 

                Russ Woods is out of control. Maybe he’s born with it; maybe it is his facial hair. This pales in comparison with Steve Roggenbuck’s performance. ‘Half-moons’ happen when somebody pulls part of their pants down, but not all the way down. Good think Steve Roggenbuck advises Robin Williams what he can do for five hours. Volume cannot handle Steve. Sonically Steve Roggenbuck is the Mach III of Spreecast. Chat roulette is a big part of Steve’s life. He enjoys watching guys jack their dicks. ‘I want to be the Skrillex of Alt Lit’ – Steve Roggenbuck wants this too badly. Infinite Jest is a huge part of alt lit. Bret Easton Ellis must be pleased. 

                It ends suddenly and dramatically with thanks to the attendees, both IRL and on the internet as Russ and Steve jump towards the sky.

Poetry Made of Diamonds by Everybody

                A couple of Chicago bros profess their love for Cassandra Gillig. She is beyond flattered, post-flattered in fact. Few know this but she used to be a crab. This should give all crabs a special kind of hope. Crabs can become people. It should give hope for all sorts of gross sea creatures. Beach-dwellers recognize that sad crab walk. While Cassandra may have been happier as a crab she loves her new human life. Several say hi to the chat including Woods, Dierks, and a beautiful white dog. 

                Cean Gamalinda reads about the pearls for the drowning man. Poor Cean is upstaged for a beautiful white dog. ‘HOWL 2’ comes up thanks to Steve’s suggestion. Cean calls it ‘HOWL 3’ because he doesn’t give any fuck. Elliot Smith becomes Skillrex Smith. Hope Cean is cautious. Many Skrillex fans get really angry about their hero. Good thing Cean is able to sing a happy song about George. ‘Red Lobster’ receives free promotion. For Cean’s Red Lobster shout-out he gets a free basket of cheesy bread. ‘Post-YOLO’ is a new thing. Here Cean hopes for a 40, many times since he is a poet and perhaps an alcoholic. Unflushed toilets are dedicated to his love. That is a lot of toilets. Apparently he has a ton of love. He even brings out an X-Files comparison. X-Files are the most romantic TV show from the 90s. 

                Chadwick Redden makes it out to Chicago. Normally he chills out in Indianapolis. Yet this is one of his few Chicago appearances. Shutterstock gets some wonderful attention. Many of these search terms for the images are wonderful. A happy photographer makes a ton of money for what he does. Erotic shutterstock images take up much of the poem. Key words and phrases for the erotic seashell: for shell lovers, for tiny crabs to have a beach house, a beach blanket bingo, and beach parties. One picture of a knob is for knob enthusiast. The best one: for barely legal brass knobbers, knob sex. 

                  Many approach the internet. Though they are in a real life poetry reading they feel the need to come close to the computer. People smoke cigarettes. Everybody wants Cassandra Gillig. No matter who is going up to the computer they all know Cassandra Gillig. Probably Cassandra Gillig misses her sweet, sweet city. Mason Johnson looks like Mason Johnson. He does an exceptional job of fulfilling his goals of being himself. 

                Jeannette Gomes reads about porn stars in her poetry. She’s been in all these cool, hip publications. Out of nowhere she screams out of pure enthusiasm. If ‘bubbly’ was a person and not just a type of alcohol beverage, well Jeannette Gomes would be it. Her sheer joy for life is admirable particularly in the depressive alt lit scene. 

                Heath Ison gets into the faces of the internet. People in real life are paying attention. The delivery is quite nice. Every word flows from the other word flows from the other word. He asks people to make him look like a shit-bag. This is a hard thing to do. Obviously he is challenging the audience. Chat room residents question his height, his determination. 

                Rachel Hyman reads with attitude. Her narration is between Judge Judy and a defendant. ‘I would never urinate on a woman of your stature’ the defendant states. Pangur Ban Party receives a reputable and well-deserved ‘shout out’. This is the real life party of the pangurs. She promises to come for the moon soon because she wants to ‘mess up’ the moon. 

                Russ Woods is out of control. Maybe he’s born with it; maybe it is his facial hair. This pales in comparison with Steve Roggenbuck’s performance. ‘Half-moons’ happen when somebody pulls part of their pants down, but not all the way down. Good think Steve Roggenbuck advises Robin Williams what he can do for five hours. Volume cannot handle Steve. Sonically Steve Roggenbuck is the Mach III of Spreecast. Chat roulette is a big part of Steve’s life. He enjoys watching guys jack their dicks. ‘I want to be the Skrillex of Alt Lit’ – Steve Roggenbuck wants this too badly. Infinite Jest is a huge part of alt lit. Bret Easton Ellis must be pleased. 

                It ends suddenly and dramatically with thanks to the attendees, both IRL and on the internet as Russ and Steve jump towards the sky.