Beach Sloth

Dead people made me by Stephanie Cook

                Stephanie Cook states dead people made her. I highly doubt this assertion. Usually Zombies lack the libido to successfully reproduce. Perhaps Zombies like the ‘sloppy brain’ once in a while but I think that’s the extent of their internet. Zombies would make sub-par parents as they never quite live or die. Rather they continue on without any sort of real growth. If you work at a company it is rare you’ll encounter a Zombie who has made it past an entry level job. 

                The story is for all those made by Zombies. I imagine that’s a niche audience. Most of the people I know were raised by human parents, a loving human mother and a loving human father. People look at me strange since I’m one of the few sloths who really ‘made-it’ in a man’s world. Stephanie states there are a million ways to tell this story. Doubt that considering the small Zombie community within the United States. Most Zombies in the US live in Delaware. Nobody ever suspects Delaware.

                A guy sets Stephanie on fire. When you are on fire, drink water. Being on fire makes you dehydrated. Lots of people die from fire dehydration. Do not become a statistic. Haters surround poor Stephanie. Glad she takes control from all the Zombie haters. All Zombies want to do his pick your brain. They do not care about you as an individual. They simply want your juicy cream brain innards. Life used to be a forward thing. Since the internet I have no concept of time. On the internet time has little power. We surrender ourselves to the internet. 

                Life talks to you. Feel life is a high school guidance counselor who wants what’s best for you but also wants to mess with you. You look at life. That five o’clock shadow, sports jacket, and photo on his desk of his bored looking family reassures you. Jesus gets a shout out. She claims she meet Jesus in a psych ward. Need photographic verification. Would Jesus ever follow me on twitter? If I followed Jesus on twitter would he follow back? 

                People love people. The beach is pure love for me. When I am at the beach I am me. Anytime, anywhere I walk across the beach. My friends walk to the beach with me. We look at the New York skyline. We know nothing about our astrological signs. Stephanie is a Gemini. Guess that means she can make a mean taco. Astrological signs bring in serious money. I see those 4 am advertisements and wish I could be that successful. 

                The internet makes us happy. Love the internet communities. Internet villages have everyone: village fool, troll under the bridge, mayor of some random establishment, it is beautiful really. On the internet we all become rulers. We have tiny domains, tracts of websites, pixels of faces, and friends we may never met. Artists exist online because this is the new frontier. Stephanie is the artist of the internet. Hope the Zombies never get to her.