Haunted Hotel by Casey Ashman


                Casey is in love with Jupiter’s moons. Usually moons are boring. The Earth’s moon is a dead rock. Jupiter’s moons are the sexiest moons in the galaxy. Europa offers the possibility of life as it orbits a big dead ball of gas. On Jupiter there is a storm, a huge storm that is always happening. It swirls around like the smoke from Casey’s cigarette. No one is bothered by her cigarette smoke. Like the storms it remains beyond comprehension why it twirls out of the cigarette in that exact fashion. Her love life consists of the galaxy’s offerings. Casey is an astronomer in love with the galaxy but nobody in particular. 

                Eagles are the symbols of America’s freedom. That’s why they pick through deer carcasses. Like America eagles have air superiority. Nobody messes with the eagle. US currency loves the eagle. Thanks to the eagle American currency looks considerably more Illuminati. Obviously the eagle is the ultimate symbol of not just the Illuminati but of the Freemasons in general. Super-secret the Freemasons and the Illuminati travel above the US on the freest creatures, the eagles, known to laypeople as ‘airplanes’. 

                A haunted hotel offers them a meal so good it is scary. Casey is terrified by the high-quality food. Together with her family she has a ghoulishly good time. Next to her family someone says grace before their meal. However the ghosts steal his soul to give him true peace. Everyone around him fails to realize this since he was dead on the inside for a long time. Only Casey understands as she sees his swollen hand. Souls usually depart through the hands. It is easier that way. 

                Praying for elk is cool. Casey is surrounded by elk. Sadly elk are really ugly. Elk get laid a lot though. An attractive elk doesn’t have to work that hard to impress other elk. Unlike humans elk have no concept of love. EMO elk don’t exist. In the rural part of America the elk roam free. Listening to ‘Born to run’ the elk is unaware of Bruce Springsteen or what New Jersey is. Freedom is a concept lost on the elk. All the elk know is they like that song. If elk ever created an elk equivalent of karaoke they’d do it with gusto. 

                By the end Casey thinks about death. That’s a main theme in most of rural America as the interior empties out into the coasts. Americans run to the coast like lemmings to the water, wanting warm weather when they pass away. Casey is right: she should wear a seatbelt. Protection from an uncertain world is important. And she’s in America’s heartland.

Haunted Hotel by Casey Ashman

                Casey is in love with Jupiter’s moons. Usually moons are boring. The Earth’s moon is a dead rock. Jupiter’s moons are the sexiest moons in the galaxy. Europa offers the possibility of life as it orbits a big dead ball of gas. On Jupiter there is a storm, a huge storm that is always happening. It swirls around like the smoke from Casey’s cigarette. No one is bothered by her cigarette smoke. Like the storms it remains beyond comprehension why it twirls out of the cigarette in that exact fashion. Her love life consists of the galaxy’s offerings. Casey is an astronomer in love with the galaxy but nobody in particular. 

                Eagles are the symbols of America’s freedom. That’s why they pick through deer carcasses. Like America eagles have air superiority. Nobody messes with the eagle. US currency loves the eagle. Thanks to the eagle American currency looks considerably more Illuminati. Obviously the eagle is the ultimate symbol of not just the Illuminati but of the Freemasons in general. Super-secret the Freemasons and the Illuminati travel above the US on the freest creatures, the eagles, known to laypeople as ‘airplanes’. 

                A haunted hotel offers them a meal so good it is scary. Casey is terrified by the high-quality food. Together with her family she has a ghoulishly good time. Next to her family someone says grace before their meal. However the ghosts steal his soul to give him true peace. Everyone around him fails to realize this since he was dead on the inside for a long time. Only Casey understands as she sees his swollen hand. Souls usually depart through the hands. It is easier that way. 

                Praying for elk is cool. Casey is surrounded by elk. Sadly elk are really ugly. Elk get laid a lot though. An attractive elk doesn’t have to work that hard to impress other elk. Unlike humans elk have no concept of love. EMO elk don’t exist. In the rural part of America the elk roam free. Listening to ‘Born to run’ the elk is unaware of Bruce Springsteen or what New Jersey is. Freedom is a concept lost on the elk. All the elk know is they like that song. If elk ever created an elk equivalent of karaoke they’d do it with gusto. 

                By the end Casey thinks about death. That’s a main theme in most of rural America as the interior empties out into the coasts. Americans run to the coast like lemmings to the water, wanting warm weather when they pass away. Casey is right: she should wear a seatbelt. Protection from an uncertain world is important. And she’s in America’s heartland.