Beach Sloth

3 years by Buttercup McGillicuddy

                People fall in love in three years. Three years is almost a whole Presidential term. When I look back at myself from three years ago I ask ‘Who was that guy’? Humanity changes at a rapid pace. Maybe this makes up for the limited amount of time we have to spend on this chunk of rock with a bunch of dolphins, penguins and giraffes. 

                Buttercup McGillicuddy was a whole different person three years ago. See this cherished classic of love between Tao Lin (of Hipster Runoff fame) and Buttercup McGillicuddy. Reading this I see the soul of an artist, of a true softie, a ‘butter cup’ if you will. Begin at very start to see the ‘giddy enthusiasm’ Buttercup has for Tao Lin, a young whippersnapper. Indeed Gawker once called Tao Lin ‘the single most irritating young whippersnapper we’ve ever had to deal with’. Gawker screams at all sorts of young people to get off their lawn. Tao Lin refused to get off Gawker’s lawn, hence their (temporary) intense hatred of Tao Lin. To soothe their mind Gawker later ate 5 whole pretzel rods. 

                The first conversation has Buttercup confirm Tao’s G-chat identity. Honestly this hurts my hurt. Sometimes I get spam G-chats asking me what I’m wearing. I tell those G-chats that I’m a married sloth; I don’t have time for their shenanigans. Wonder if Buttercup first thought Tao was a sexy spam bot. Tao probably gets sexy spam bots all the time. He’s a famous writer. Famous writers are always asked by spam bots what they are wearing. 

                Energetic is what Tao calls Buttercup. Yes this referenced novel was finished by Buttercup. Later an enterprising young buck of a film director picked this up from Buttercup. The director’s name was Buttercup McGillicuddy, Buttercup’s bizarro film making clone. Watch the movie ‘Dead Midgets’. I did. Your life will change forever probably. Along with this work in progress, Tao takes young Buttercup under his wing. Tao becomes an adviser to Buttercup, advising him to play the literary game. Playing the literary game takes time but the payoff is totally worth it via hipness. I mean, Tao had a Saint follow him on Twitter for a while. No saint has followed me on Twitter yet, though I do have Kari Ferrell (the artist formerly known as the ‘Hipster Grifter) following me. Kari Ferrell is a saint to me. 

                Muumuu House is a huge ‘ass’ publishing house created by Tao Lin. Buttercup asks how to get published on it. Tao Lin feigns ignorance. We get a sneak-peek into Tao’s attraction to Megan Boyle. One chat has Tao ask ‘are you friends with her’. Clearly this is an indication of Tao’s interest in the sweet style of Megan Boyle. We see how many times Buttercup messages Tao. Some of the messages are as short as ‘sup’. Some of this shows the state of alt lit in 2009, the launch of Muumuu House as an actual publishing house, etc. It reads at times like a history of alt lit. 

                Online death occurs to Buttercup. Despite this his ghost manages to email Tao. Around 2010 there are considerably fewer responses from Tao. Tao says ‘Get $10 and buy my damned book’ a couple of times. Wonder if internet presences go away, like how the snow melts into spring. Is it better to have no internet presence and appreciate what goes on in the day to day world? Or should one blog hard into the night, regardless of the consequences? Reality and the online can be balanced. I do it each and every day. Life is my game. 

                By 2011-2012 the relationship begins to flower once again. Tao responds to Buttercup regarding MDMA films. It reassures the reader that relevancy, once lost, can be found again. Reading it I cried. For if we regain relevancy, maybe we can do anything. Rebuild broken hearts, rebrand our lives. Our time on Earth is so small. We should do as much as possible to support one another. This piece shows that it is possible to renew. Humanity is resilient. We can make it. Buttercup and Tao did it and so can we!