Bastards by Tony Arnold
A defaced actors claims it is easy to deface cinema. This is an old picture back when people watched movies. Do people even watch movies anymore or do they just read the Wikipedia article? Feel I read the Wikipedia article since that’s a real time saver. Wikipedia articles are the Cliff’s Notes to cinema.
Tony tells us about a special someone. He uses the upside down cross to express his love and admiration. A picture exists of this wonderful person reading a ‘Bearstein Bears’ book extolling the virtues of cleaning out one’s closet. Closets usually contain a lot of skeletons so it is important to clean it every now and then. Skeletons get dusty.
14,000 texts is a lot to send. Hope Tony spread that out over a couple of hours. Texts scare me. Nobody texts me for that vibrating buzz they make is too much for me to handle. Damn that is a dark childhood. Robocop enforces law and order in modern day Detroit. Or at least that was the plan before Robocop was forced into early retirement. Now Robocop plays tennis and builds historically accurate 18th century dollhouses.
Sylvester Stallone cleans lion cages to this very day. Lions give Stallone the moxie he needs to succeed. An advertisement extolls men to volunteer to help lonely ladies through the night. Figure that’s a lot of money for reading bedtime stories. Tony is sponsored by this advertisement. Alt lit needs more advertising revenue.
Grimace is a hero. Remember when Grimace saved all those orphans from a burning bus that was about to crush into the Grand Canyon. I have a tremendous amount of respect for that purple hero. So what if Grimace never smiles? That is part of his persona. Imagine living next to some clown like Ronald McDonald. Ronald McDonald has houses filled with poor people he turns into burger meat. Don’t know about how most of humanity feels about this, but I feel it is too late to go the ‘Soylent Green’ route with all these vegans hanging around.
Corky saved a life but can he save his family business? There was a 80s movie with that premise. It was called ‘Gremlins’. Tony tells us about the time he took pills. I worry about Tony. Hope he stays ‘Above the Influence’. Below that is a more wholesome image: of a couple of Satanists watching ‘Saved by the Bell’. Satan loves Saved by the Bell, particularly Screech.
Honda Civic gets great gas mileage. No wonder Tony loves his car so much. Yo La Tengo even wrote a song about ‘Little Honda’ since they are bored and live in Hoboken. It ends with Tony sharing his heart with the reader. This is a beautiful chapbook hand-crafted in the finest scanners. Happy Tony uses scanning technology. Tony is the leading figure in ‘scanned doodles’ in the alt lit scene.