Our Hearts are Power Ballads by J. Bradley



                J. Bradley is a modern romantic. This is the age of love. Truly what the world needs know is love sweet love. With these Power Ballads beating by J. Bradley knows he’s going to get the girl. In fact he’s even using his fingers to determine his next location. Apartments, pizza parlors, coffee houses they are all good choices. However Bradley does not know which one will emerge victorious over all the other locations. Champagne does the trick marvelously turning inferiority complexes into apartment complexes. Yes Bradley is a classy kind of guy. 

                The children must be built. In America children are built Ford-tough like a rock, oh yeah like a rock. Bradley chooses professions for them. While children enjoy following their dreams sometimes children have stupid dreams. It is up to the parents to decide or guide their children towards a great future. Bubble wrap suits are just ways of protecting children from a tough world with bad people and sharp table-top edges. 

                Law and Order is a romantic show. One moment two people are in love the next BOOM! Dead body is splayed out on the pavement like a hot-ass piece of meat. Some jogger found it. There’s more joggers featured on Law and Order than in real life. Boxed wine makes the whole show totally worth it. By the end of the show the viewer gets to see justice served or not served. With boxed wine the justice doesn’t matter nor does the boxed wine as it is good for up to four weeks. If anybody is worried about humanity’s progress the boxed wine expiration date should set their mind at ease. 

                Power ballads finally come up. The volume is cranked up to 11. Hearts plated with poetry are beautiful tender things. Generally hearts have to be tender due to the large amount of blood they have to circulate. When two people like each other very much their hearts will beat in unison. Hence the romance has not one but two drummers. Every relationship needs at most two drummers. After two it gets a little complicated and pretentious. 

                Bradley gets romantic as heck for the finale. There he is ‘Indiana Jones’ scoping out some hot bod. Part of life revolves around scoping out seriously hot bod. Commonly referred to as ‘checking out’ it is a technique used all the time. People do it. Animals do it too. Bradley does it and so why don’t you?

Our Hearts are Power Ballads by J. Bradley

                J. Bradley is a modern romantic. This is the age of love. Truly what the world needs know is love sweet love. With these Power Ballads beating by J. Bradley knows he’s going to get the girl. In fact he’s even using his fingers to determine his next location. Apartments, pizza parlors, coffee houses they are all good choices. However Bradley does not know which one will emerge victorious over all the other locations. Champagne does the trick marvelously turning inferiority complexes into apartment complexes. Yes Bradley is a classy kind of guy. 

                The children must be built. In America children are built Ford-tough like a rock, oh yeah like a rock. Bradley chooses professions for them. While children enjoy following their dreams sometimes children have stupid dreams. It is up to the parents to decide or guide their children towards a great future. Bubble wrap suits are just ways of protecting children from a tough world with bad people and sharp table-top edges. 

                Law and Order is a romantic show. One moment two people are in love the next BOOM! Dead body is splayed out on the pavement like a hot-ass piece of meat. Some jogger found it. There’s more joggers featured on Law and Order than in real life. Boxed wine makes the whole show totally worth it. By the end of the show the viewer gets to see justice served or not served. With boxed wine the justice doesn’t matter nor does the boxed wine as it is good for up to four weeks. If anybody is worried about humanity’s progress the boxed wine expiration date should set their mind at ease. 

                Power ballads finally come up. The volume is cranked up to 11. Hearts plated with poetry are beautiful tender things. Generally hearts have to be tender due to the large amount of blood they have to circulate. When two people like each other very much their hearts will beat in unison. Hence the romance has not one but two drummers. Every relationship needs at most two drummers. After two it gets a little complicated and pretentious. 

                Bradley gets romantic as heck for the finale. There he is ‘Indiana Jones’ scoping out some hot bod. Part of life revolves around scoping out seriously hot bod. Commonly referred to as ‘checking out’ it is a technique used all the time. People do it. Animals do it too. Bradley does it and so why don’t you?

13 by David Tomaloff



                A train leaves the station. This happens all the time. People have places to go, new things to see, experiences to be had. Some bro stops breathing. This happens all the time as well. When one stops breathing one is dead. It is that simple. Oxygen needs to flow to the brain otherwise the brain experiences ‘brain death’ and the patient is ‘brain dead’. Brain dead is also an insult used to refer to a particularly stupid or moronic person. 

                Taxis are hard things to catch. Even killers have tough times catching a cab. Cabbies fail to understand anything about the time-space continuum. Here the killer does the right thing. After the killer is done a-killing people he’s polite enough to leave quietly. That’s good of the murderer to let himself out. Without doing that who knows when he’d be able to catch the next cab. Yes cab rides are wild crazy things. 

                Claire buys herself a shovel. She needs an anniversary gift. Really what could be better than a shovel so she can continue to do gardening? The best part of the shovel is it can be used to help distribute fertilizer. Composting is an overlooked part of any gardening regimen. With that shovel Claire can (hopefully) knock her husband unconscious and use his decaying body for her garden. Everybody wins particularly the planet. 

                Vampires can hardly look themselves in the mirror. This is a problem. At this point in the Vampire life it is important to dress to impress. Impressive Vampires are successful Vampires. Part of the reason Vampires are so hip right now is thanks to their keen fashion sense. Clothing retailers like ‘Hot Topic’ and ‘GAP’ offer budding Vampires a wide variety of styles to choose from, from douche Goth kids all the way to douche Golf kids. 

                Diving into the sea is a common occurrence for mermaids. To be lost in the sea is to be found by Sebastian, the loveable singing dancing scamp made famous by Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”. Later on “The Little Mermaid” influenced other fish out of water. Fox’s award-winning documentary “The Nanny” was based on a similar premise. Only unlike the mermaid, the nanny was considered highly aggravating by young children. 

                It ends with a happy story. Some guy won’t stay dead. Zombies are resilient. They love a good brain to pick. Listening to the basement she knows he won’t stay dead. While she knows the relationship is not over, the life is. She’s through. And like that Tomaloff shows the multi-varied way of presenting happy people in the throes of despair.

13 by David Tomaloff

                A train leaves the station. This happens all the time. People have places to go, new things to see, experiences to be had. Some bro stops breathing. This happens all the time as well. When one stops breathing one is dead. It is that simple. Oxygen needs to flow to the brain otherwise the brain experiences ‘brain death’ and the patient is ‘brain dead’. Brain dead is also an insult used to refer to a particularly stupid or moronic person. 

                Taxis are hard things to catch. Even killers have tough times catching a cab. Cabbies fail to understand anything about the time-space continuum. Here the killer does the right thing. After the killer is done a-killing people he’s polite enough to leave quietly. That’s good of the murderer to let himself out. Without doing that who knows when he’d be able to catch the next cab. Yes cab rides are wild crazy things. 

                Claire buys herself a shovel. She needs an anniversary gift. Really what could be better than a shovel so she can continue to do gardening? The best part of the shovel is it can be used to help distribute fertilizer. Composting is an overlooked part of any gardening regimen. With that shovel Claire can (hopefully) knock her husband unconscious and use his decaying body for her garden. Everybody wins particularly the planet. 

                Vampires can hardly look themselves in the mirror. This is a problem. At this point in the Vampire life it is important to dress to impress. Impressive Vampires are successful Vampires. Part of the reason Vampires are so hip right now is thanks to their keen fashion sense. Clothing retailers like ‘Hot Topic’ and ‘GAP’ offer budding Vampires a wide variety of styles to choose from, from douche Goth kids all the way to douche Golf kids. 

                Diving into the sea is a common occurrence for mermaids. To be lost in the sea is to be found by Sebastian, the loveable singing dancing scamp made famous by Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”. Later on “The Little Mermaid” influenced other fish out of water. Fox’s award-winning documentary “The Nanny” was based on a similar premise. Only unlike the mermaid, the nanny was considered highly aggravating by young children. 

                It ends with a happy story. Some guy won’t stay dead. Zombies are resilient. They love a good brain to pick. Listening to the basement she knows he won’t stay dead. While she knows the relationship is not over, the life is. She’s through. And like that Tomaloff shows the multi-varied way of presenting happy people in the throes of despair.