Alt Lit is growing huge. Ever since some random English bro from England decided to mock Alt Lit it has gone international. Perhaps Josh Baines did not intend for his Vice Magazine article to essentially make Alt Lit official, well tough for him it is stronger than ever. Recently a major player in the Alt Lit scene, some southern bro named Josh Spilker took it to the next level. By taking an online quiz one can find out exactly what Alt Lit writer they are. The results are astounding.
Beach Sloth got “Beach Sloth” as a writer. Steve Roggenbuck got “Steve Roggenbuck”. The test obviously works and obviously is pretty great. Maybe writers might object to being classified by a particular style but whatever, at least with an online test it becomes a little bit easier. Before the Internet people were doing it anyway, comparing themselves to Ernest Hemingway because they too hated people or comparing themselves to Charles Bukowski because they too hated people.
Unlike previous writing movements Alt Lit tends to not hate people. This is why a lot of people take issue with Alt Lit, claiming it does not “hate people enough” and is not outright “angry”. Rather Alt Lit explores what it means to be alive today and honestly it does not mean much. Nasty edges from life have been smoothed off to reveal a sometimes deep-seeded sadness that the world offers to everybody. By trying to actively find ways to get out of a culture that can at times feel so negative it can liberate people.
The quiz shows off this fact. Partly joking the ridiculousness of “What ___ are you” quizzes that rule the Internet’s waves the quiz tries to determine exactly what it is that makes up the essence of being alive online today. Life is mostly lived online anyway, downloaded occasionally when people need to go to work and to hang out in public.
Everybody really ought to take the quiz. Upon completing the quiz Beach Sloth ate yummy pickled and spicy asparagus. This could be anybody’s life, a life of leisure and a helping of greens. Questions within the quiz are the kind of things that make anyone re-evaluate their life and wonder if they are living it correctly. Honestly there is no wrong way to live a life. Nobody has the same path. Some people’s paths lead them online. Some people’s paths lead them offline. Beach Sloth does not know those offline people but he has heard things about them and assumes they exist. With this quiz though people can do more than merely exist they can live their life.