GAYNG Issue #1
What is this there is a part two? Of course there is. One blog post for this magnificent beast single and oh so ready to mingle would do a grave injustice to its luscious locks of radiant red hair. Yes this is the first collection from GAYNG and it grew out its hair for the occasion. Can one prepare for this? The answer is no. Nothing can prepare a person for this buxom beast.
Alexander Seedman has a spectacular set of Pokémon cards. Typically Pokémon cards involve battle. By expanding into the growing sexual appetite of aging nostalgic twenty-somethings Pokémon gets a whole new lease on life. Fans breathe down the necks of babes. Alexander Seedman is such a babe. Ejaculation is a part of any video game, that’s why it is called a ‘joystick’. Saving used condoms in pockets is not classy at all. Usually used condoms are thrown away.
Murdoch LaMarche offers sincerest condolences. Honestly though art galleries can be the worst of places. Knowing not enough people at an art gallery can ruin it. Little fill in the blanks helps Murdoch fill in the blanks of his or her drugs and alcohol addled mind. Many of the best moments in life are things other people remember. Memories require multiple people in them but only one need to remember. If more than one person remembers it is boring.
Captain Missouri lacks socks. Socks are the ear muffs of the feet. Every foot should have one.
Konstantine Salkeld rues the death of twerk. After somebody retires they are out of twerk. Monthly payments help to ease the pain of being out of twerk. Yet the loss is extremely difficult for some people. To twerk is to live life to the fullest.
John Rogers tries to sleep. The moment before sleep is called ‘Show Time’ because that’s when the mind really starts to work. Here John engages in some out of control behavior. Pouring water down into his beard helps keep it watered. Beards need to be watered every now and then otherwise they can die.
Shaun Gannon’s plumber enjoys a good old fashioned anal probing by aliens. This is an important part of life. Living out in the countryside means people don’t really appreciate the joys of being anally probed by aliens. Aliens and the plumber have a good laugh about this crazy little thing called love (aka anal probing).
Stephanie Graff feels sad. First kisses should always remember each other. The love begins quite strongly. Obviously the two really care for each other. One of the main ways to tell the strength of any relationship is to focus on how many subtitled movies they’ve watched together. Unfortunately a little heartbreak is inevitable. There are no subtitles for heartbreak. It is easy to understand.
Chief McFrank explores the intimate parts. Yep with each new question comes a new form of caressing.
Tom Stein screams ‘Mom’ at the tippy top of his lungs. Meanwhile his mother is worried about a dog. Dogs don’t scream. Dogs bark. Dogs don’t get depressed because dogs have nothing to do.
Jenny Nelson expresses disappointment at the Beatles stealing the name of her poem. The name of her poem was ‘I am the Walrus’. She is nervous. Hand-holding is one thing. Other kinds of holding are a whole other ballgame.
Shane Jesse Christmass enjoys his holiday trip to South America. Traveling overseas means hooking up with others overseas, that’s the deal. Anyone who goes to see the ‘sights’ on their trip is a total wimp.
Dianna Dragonetti finishes it with a one-two-three punch. Her promise to die while someone else sleeps is rather thoughtful. Typically sleep shouldn’t be interrupted with the living. The dead rarely ruin dreams. Patience is a lover. Her eyes are dead. That’s change she can believe in, not more of the same broken politics.
Hence it is over. By the end, the rolling credits, the same of accomplishment is palpable. No one could have predicted this level of loveliness months ago. Everyone should be more than excited. Everyone should be post-excited for this harrowing collection of short stories, and perfectly pretty poems.