The Internet

                Cole World interviews various online luminaries. Many writers are asked either what the first thing or what the last thing was they did on the internet. Remembering the most recent thing on the internet is obvious. Everyone remembers their first time on the internet. Without a first time there would be no story to tell. Some of these internet users are true abusers of the vast sea of knowledge available right at their fingertips. Obviously they know what is chill and what is unchill. Strangely a few of these searches match up with memorable moments of my own. 

                Steve Roggenbuck looked up the lyrics to ‘Everlast’ for his first online interaction. That’s weak. When I looked up my first lyrics to any song on the internet they were for ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’. It was around Halloween. I put the lyrics underneath my mattress like they were something filthy. I had a long obsession with Rocky Horror Picture Show for a long time. Everything about the movie appealed to me. It still does. Guess Steve Roggenbuck really needed to know ‘What it’s like’. 

                Kate Wiggeringloh searches Christmas Island online. This reminds me of my obsession with CIA World Factbook where I’d compare various statistics and determine if the country was screwed or not. It really bored me when a country seemed well-balanced. Good thing most countries tend to have something chronically wrong with them. I was a little jerk back then. 

                Spencer Madsen goes over his first ever poetry submission to the internet. By submitting that poem Spencer began his online persona. Offline Spencer is a moderately content person but online Spencer brings the bleak. Nobody can compare. Those who can compare lack the Twitter skills. 

                Diana Salier shares things online. She emails her band mates. This is good. Diana is quite the musician. Initially Diana was going to Facebook message this response. Good thing she chose the online snail mail option of ‘email’. That seems better. 

                Jesse Prado used the internet to find pictures of Michael Jackson online. Apparently Jesse did not know what Michael Jackson looked like, despite Michael Jackson being the ‘king of pop’. Guess Jesse was more into the court jesters of pop around that time. Michael Jackson, that guy was no joke. Michael Jackson ran pop music with an iron fist. 

                Mark Stevenson needs the internet to keep warm. Thanks to the glow of the internet Mark manages to gain enough warmth to continue on, and to eventually fall asleep with his internet on, as he should. 

                Janey Smith figured out the internet pretty quickly. A stuff panda order, that’s how to use the internet, all consumerist and such. Good thing Janey used the stuffing for earplugs. Teddy Bears make such great stuffing, that’s why teddy bears stuff holes in the heart. 

                Matthew Sherling mentions his harrowing internet addiction. Internet addictions are worth blogging about. Obviously Matthew spends his time on the internet usefully. Watching YouTube clips is a good use of time. David Foster Wallace interviews typically involved David Foster Wallace showing off his extensive vocabulary and disgust with various things. YouTube gets a little better with David Forster Wallace interviews on it. 

                Kristy Vibat crushes it with her memory of AOL screen names. Many people have fond memories of that innocent time. Most people learned how to type thanks to AOL. Without AOL the only way to learn how to type was through those awful ‘typing’ classes with PAWS the typing cat. Yep first the dumb PAWS cat taught the user the ‘home keys’ and would then scamper on the keyboard like it fucking owned the keyboard. Which of course it didn’t, it was just a stupid cat. Fictional cats are even less likely to own keyboards. I was bad at typing. 

                Thus it ends, but the illumination into famous online stars’ use of the internet continues unabated.

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