SELECTIONS FROM JORDAN CASTRO’S TWITTER
Jordan Castro is having a trill year. Lately he’s been traveling across the country doing a reading tour with Megan Boyle, Sam Pink, Scott McClanahan, Mallory Whitten and the savory Salisbury Bushnell. ‘Shoplifting from American Apparel’ showed off Jordan Castro’s acting chops. In his spare time he runs his very own Ohio based band aptly named ‘The Ohioans’. Recently he busted out the big beautiful book of ‘Young Americans’ chronicling the life and times of a young, virile man growing up in America. Honestly Jordan is virile as fuck, despite his best efforts to rip off his own dick.
The set begins with an emphasis on his age. Jordan Castro graduated high school. Many consider this a true accomplishment, a testament to getting through the worst part of life. In fact judging from the last tweet about the first day of college there is really solid framing effect for these tweets. Megan Boyle does a really good job of showing how Jordan Castro’s mind works during that time of ‘pure freedom’ from school, away from old friends and hoping to make new ones.
‘just want to write a book so good that all of my behavior is excusable’ is the best tweet in the whole collection. If there’s one tweet that deserves to be re-tweeted out of the bunch it is this one. Writers typically refer to their own work as a justification for their actions. Sometimes shitty writers are also shitty people. Book quality has nothing to do with it often. Yet the idea is common enough that Jordan’s take is particularly funny. Besides he recently put out a book, so perhaps this tweet also has a ‘prophetic’ quality to it. Maybe Jordan knew, subconsciously that he would be out a book to extreme critical acclaim.
X-men get a lot of attention in this tweet series. Clearly Jordan Castro loves ‘the fuck’ out of that perennial all-American comic book series. One of the most notable aspects of American culture is the fear of a massive, all powerful government. Usually this government hates mutants for reasons that are convoluted, boring, and poorly explained. Yet the explanation doesn’t really matter as long as some cars transform into robots, some web is slung, and at least one awkward love scene is shown. Jordan explains how he lost control of his left leg due to the overwhelming power of the X-men movie.
The tweets about loneliness are great. Rummaging around people’s homes in broad daylight searching for happiness is commonly referred to as ‘hanging out’. Crying uncontrollably on the floor while looking really good is typical for anyone between the ages of 16 to 32. After 32 it gets easier, hopefully. If someone is worried about the terrible direction their life is going they should read these tweets since these tweets would make anyone feel less alone in loneliness.