Lief is choas cosnumieng my inaocense by Buokshelf Clamstion
Buokshelf Clamiston is the James Joyce of the Clamistons. Without Buokshelf, the Clamistons would be just a run of the mill extended troll family. Or maybe the Clamistons are real people with real feelings and shit. This is doubtful. All over Facebook the Clamistons wander adding new friends each and every day. They use a patented ‘barely comprehensible’ spelling style that helps to define them as a family. Apparently all members of the Clamiston tribe lack spell check or anything similar. Rather they live together in a remote compound observing the world from far away.
Interactions in this book deal with Buokshelf’s family and various restaurants. The use of the word ‘bro’ indicates a certain familiarity with the reader. Through the use of the word ‘bro’ Buokshelf ensures that the reader always feels like part of the action. IHOP receives rather harshly worded criticism as does Taco Bell. Judging from the limited interactions Buokshelf hates these sorts of experiences. Does Buokshelf tend to cook for himself? Has he given up on the luxuries of modern society which provide breakfast and tacos at all hours of the day? It is hard to say exactly where Buokshelf stands on this concept of highly processed food. When Buokshelf shoots the cow when the cow jumps over the moon he appears completely at ease with life. This indicates a fondness for burgers judging by Buokshelf exclamation to ‘haevieng hambergers tonieght’.
Pete Clamiston, easily the most popular member of the Clamiston family, receives a beautiful dedication. Here the reader discovers Pete Clamiston is sexually impotent. This is a common ailment more common than anyone realizes. To state this in an e-book intended for alt lit, a group too young to suffer from sexual impotence, is brave indeed. In fact alt lit cares a lot about sex. Alt lit’s greatest draw is sex. Alt lit is a great big writing and fornicating community.
‘The Loin the wietch and the wadroebe’ is by far the best part of the collection. Here Buokshelf really shows off his artistic flair. For one his work deals with the often-ignored sexual and drug related material left out in the original version. Various references indicate Buokshelf’s worldly knowledge about ‘buttholes’ and ‘section 8 housing’. Referencing the ability to prevent forest fires shows that Buokshelf is aware of ‘Smokey the Bear’ who advised countless young ones to avoid forest fires. Most likely this puts Buokshelf somewhere in his mid to late twenties.
Overall this is a delightful collection and a brilliant take on the concept of e-books. Is Buokshelf Clamiston trolling the alt lit community or is the alt lit community trolling Buokshelf Clamiston? The world may never know bro.