Have U Seen My Whale #5
Welcome to the finale of ‘Have U Seen My Whale’. Many oceans have been searched. All without a trace of that slippery whale, living, eating plankton and tweeting to his heart’s content.
Wern Luk explores history through Google Earth images. Google is the world at this point. Any place not on Google Earth is not worth caring about. The internet needs geography to let people know where their internet friends live.
Christopher Scarborough goes over the odds of becoming an astronaut. Few are selected for such universal service. Astronauts must be ‘out of this world’. Eating chocolate based cereal is perfectly fine. For people are employed through chocolate cereal production. All astronauts do is jump miles down into the Earth. Blue and green is for humanity. The emptiness of space is for well-adjusted astronauts.
Dianna Dragonetti watches death all around her. This is what autumn is about. Without autumn how else would people learn of the natural cycle of life and death? Here Dianna goes over a wonderful night of hiding in bushes. After parties usually take place in the bushes, running from cops after crashing someone’s party. It is part of life. With life comes death. Dianna rakes the leaves and waits nine months for the rebirth of death.
Michael O’Brien feels the terror. Like all good terror this one includes misspellings and monkeys. Monkeys are notorious for their misspellings. One monkey tried writing a great novel but misspelled worst as ‘blurst’. That’s what happens. Leave good writing to the humans and the occasional spambot (Horse e-books). Liking things on Facebook is the new hugging. Since the internet has people from so far away support each other this is the only way to hug.
Michael Hessel-Mial hides like the sunshine at nighttime. Various figures are suspended in the air like suns on an overcast day. Out of nowhere Michael goddamns a lot of things. Only God can goddamn a thing. Humans have no control over God’s almighty righteousness. People and clothing can become one in civilization.
Kelly Schirmann goes on a long drive. To prepare her driver friend takes off his shirt. Shirtless fellows are considered ‘hot’ in a literal heat sense. Perhaps some shirtless fellows are downright attractive. It is unlikely. Right in their front yard she builds a career earning hundreds of dollars a day by calling people right over the phone. She leaves people behind to hurt their feelings. Breaking up is a hard/easy thing to do.
Jmar Atienza remembers a certain somebody taking a stroll down the highway in very fine shoes. Cities must be apart. Without space between them the cities become irrelevant. Sure Newark, NJ is okay but if Newark was alone, in the Midwest, people might notice it a bit more. Ashes fall on the sidewalk. Someone is smoking hot.
Amelia Gillis invites the reader to kiss their name into her eyes. Yes this is known as advertising one’s personal brand. Without a personal brand people are unable to advertise their many talents. In the tenth grade she was rejected, the only time she had ever been rejected by a boy in her life. One finds it hard to resist the many charms of Amelia and her sunset.
Robert Schofeld wants the simple things in life. People speak around them. Thanks to his mind-reading abilities he knows what they are going to say. Yes they are that boring. For entertainment Robert becomes a legend of the Pacific Northwest. In Mother Nature he teaches horses to read. Only certain fish eat dead toe skin. They live in hipper parts of the world.
Michael Scarborough thinks of fantastic people. From underneath his covers he plays with the internet. This means something profoundly dirty. Impure thoughts in bed with the internet can only mean one thing. Of course the only way to refute this base accusation is with stating he has not read a love poem in a long time. Lust poems are a different thing.
‘Have U Seen My Whale’ ends a perfect year. The whale remains hidden somewhere. As the search continues into the years one wonders if they will ever find the whale. Since they have dedicated an entire lit mag to the whale perhaps this will convince the whale to return to their warmer lovelier waters. Only time will tell.