13 by David Tomaloff



                A train leaves the station. This happens all the time. People have places to go, new things to see, experiences to be had. Some bro stops breathing. This happens all the time as well. When one stops breathing one is dead. It is that simple. Oxygen needs to flow to the brain otherwise the brain experiences ‘brain death’ and the patient is ‘brain dead’. Brain dead is also an insult used to refer to a particularly stupid or moronic person. 

                Taxis are hard things to catch. Even killers have tough times catching a cab. Cabbies fail to understand anything about the time-space continuum. Here the killer does the right thing. After the killer is done a-killing people he’s polite enough to leave quietly. That’s good of the murderer to let himself out. Without doing that who knows when he’d be able to catch the next cab. Yes cab rides are wild crazy things. 

                Claire buys herself a shovel. She needs an anniversary gift. Really what could be better than a shovel so she can continue to do gardening? The best part of the shovel is it can be used to help distribute fertilizer. Composting is an overlooked part of any gardening regimen. With that shovel Claire can (hopefully) knock her husband unconscious and use his decaying body for her garden. Everybody wins particularly the planet. 

                Vampires can hardly look themselves in the mirror. This is a problem. At this point in the Vampire life it is important to dress to impress. Impressive Vampires are successful Vampires. Part of the reason Vampires are so hip right now is thanks to their keen fashion sense. Clothing retailers like ‘Hot Topic’ and ‘GAP’ offer budding Vampires a wide variety of styles to choose from, from douche Goth kids all the way to douche Golf kids. 

                Diving into the sea is a common occurrence for mermaids. To be lost in the sea is to be found by Sebastian, the loveable singing dancing scamp made famous by Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”. Later on “The Little Mermaid” influenced other fish out of water. Fox’s award-winning documentary “The Nanny” was based on a similar premise. Only unlike the mermaid, the nanny was considered highly aggravating by young children. 

                It ends with a happy story. Some guy won’t stay dead. Zombies are resilient. They love a good brain to pick. Listening to the basement she knows he won’t stay dead. While she knows the relationship is not over, the life is. She’s through. And like that Tomaloff shows the multi-varied way of presenting happy people in the throes of despair.

13 by David Tomaloff

                A train leaves the station. This happens all the time. People have places to go, new things to see, experiences to be had. Some bro stops breathing. This happens all the time as well. When one stops breathing one is dead. It is that simple. Oxygen needs to flow to the brain otherwise the brain experiences ‘brain death’ and the patient is ‘brain dead’. Brain dead is also an insult used to refer to a particularly stupid or moronic person. 

                Taxis are hard things to catch. Even killers have tough times catching a cab. Cabbies fail to understand anything about the time-space continuum. Here the killer does the right thing. After the killer is done a-killing people he’s polite enough to leave quietly. That’s good of the murderer to let himself out. Without doing that who knows when he’d be able to catch the next cab. Yes cab rides are wild crazy things. 

                Claire buys herself a shovel. She needs an anniversary gift. Really what could be better than a shovel so she can continue to do gardening? The best part of the shovel is it can be used to help distribute fertilizer. Composting is an overlooked part of any gardening regimen. With that shovel Claire can (hopefully) knock her husband unconscious and use his decaying body for her garden. Everybody wins particularly the planet. 

                Vampires can hardly look themselves in the mirror. This is a problem. At this point in the Vampire life it is important to dress to impress. Impressive Vampires are successful Vampires. Part of the reason Vampires are so hip right now is thanks to their keen fashion sense. Clothing retailers like ‘Hot Topic’ and ‘GAP’ offer budding Vampires a wide variety of styles to choose from, from douche Goth kids all the way to douche Golf kids. 

                Diving into the sea is a common occurrence for mermaids. To be lost in the sea is to be found by Sebastian, the loveable singing dancing scamp made famous by Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”. Later on “The Little Mermaid” influenced other fish out of water. Fox’s award-winning documentary “The Nanny” was based on a similar premise. Only unlike the mermaid, the nanny was considered highly aggravating by young children. 

                It ends with a happy story. Some guy won’t stay dead. Zombies are resilient. They love a good brain to pick. Listening to the basement she knows he won’t stay dead. While she knows the relationship is not over, the life is. She’s through. And like that Tomaloff shows the multi-varied way of presenting happy people in the throes of despair.

  1. beachsloth posted this