Adam Humphreys: Now on Wikipedia!
Adam Humphreys has made it. Wikipedia is the big time. Once a person ends up on Wikipedia there’s no limit of fame and popularity to be showered upon them. Yes millions of people spend their whole lives working endlessly trying to get themselves a piece of that sweet, scrumptious Wikipedia pie. Mr. Humphreys has tasted the forbidden fruits of online microfame and found them good.
From lowly origins as a guy who planted trees in the Canadian bumblefuck Adam Humphreys has made quite a name for himself making a name for others. His two movies ‘Franz Otto Ultimate Highballer’ and ‘Shitty Youth’ have captivated youths across the world, from New Zealand to the United States. His films celebrate the oddball, the weird, those that fail to fit into a comfortable niche is what is commonly referred to as ‘civilization’. Indeed it is highly rumored that for his excellent work on the strange film ‘Shitty Youth’ Adam Humphreys is in the running for a highly sought-out ‘Beachie’ award for ‘Best Depiction of a Zachary German’.
How will Adam Humphreys use this newly discovered fame? Thanks to the Wikipedia page he some serious stuff to put on his resume besides ‘plants mad trees’ and ‘started a business out of a van’. Both of those, while highly sought after in respectable professions, lack the sort of clout a Wikipedia page brings. In fact, if Mr. Humphreys was not already married, he could easily use his Wikipedia page as a ‘getting laid’ device. Countless Wikipedia-famous citizens have used their pages in the past to obtain meaningful sexual favors. People are always looking for new pickup lines anyway. What better pickup line than ‘Hey baby how would you like to check out my Wikipedia page?’ could there possibly be?
This page shows Mr. Humphreys as a successful entrepreneur and filmmaker. It leaves out some of his greatest accomplishments such as his astronomically high twitter following or his ability to make shorter blurbier things for such accomplished writers as Erik Stinson, bitchass motherfucker extraordinaire and some other people who aren’t bitchass motherfuckers. Honestly it brings a tear or several tears to the eye. In rare cases it is has brought people to cry uncontrollably uncertain as to why they haven’t been put on the Wikipedia map yet. Currently several literary movements have tried to make their way onto the esteemed Wikipedia website with limited success.
Seeing Adam Humphreys should gave all people hope: that if one puts out a good product consistently and over a prolonged period of time they too can end up on one of the web’s most respected websites.