the closest i will ever come to time travel by Amy Saul-Zerby
Amy Saul-Zerby describes her approach for readings. Poetry readings can be boring things. However Amy takes it to the sex level. While she asks people to read her next chapbook she’s not secretly thinking about having sex with them. This poem is funny because it shows the ‘guts’ Amy has to admit that readings are normally boring. Plus Amy finds a new way to entertain herself at these special reading shindigs. Does Amy Saul-Zerby have more swag than anybody else in alt lit? Fuck yeah.
Sleeping with former lovers is the closest thing to time travel. By sleeping with ex-lovers one can ‘relive the magic’ of great wonderful things, like sex. This can even lead to after sex better known sleep. Millions of Americans rely on sleep to help them get through the day. With the night the day becomes a much easier thing to tolerate. Nobody wants anything from the night. During the day everything is necessary.
Masturbation is a lonely person’s station. One moment they are in a relationship. The next they are making love to their hand. Sadly their hand fails to caress them afterwards unless they use the hand puppet. And that’s just weird. Making love to a hand puppet is the worst sort of fetish. Childhood nostalgia goes too far when one ejaculates into Snuffy’s mouth. Snuffy isn’t even the most attractive Sesame Street character.
Punches are thrown. Amy throws them all. Don’t mess with Amy. She’ll mess up all takers. Kisses are rejected by Amy. No time for that nonsense she reckons. Besides she has better things to do with her time like protecting herself from post-sex talk. Upon completion of sex both parties are required by law to have fluffy pillow talk. By law the talk must have absolutely no consequence whatsoever. Religion and politics are off limits.
Everybody is a little broken inside. Imperfection is a perfect thing in itself. With every imperfection comes another memorable trait. At the very end she remembers a moment of clarity. She remembers who it was with: it was with a special someone. Oddly her moment of calm took place in America’s most chronically underachieving state. No matter where it takes place the moment of clarity is a welcome part of a busy life.
This is a perfect chapbook with the right mixture of love, anger and violent thoughts. In other words it is a classic the whole family can enjoy.