Beach Sloth

Zac Zellers is the Where’s Waldo of Ann Arbor by Elizabeth Ellen

                Zac Zellers is an online enigma. Offline he is a legend. People claim nobody is as big of a Tao Lin fan as Zac Zellers. Few ever get to meet this thick-framed possibly fictitious fan boy. Or is Zac Zellers something more of a fan boy. After Elizabeth Ellen’s piece the case could be made that he is forever immortalized both on and offline. This is assuming people print out Muumuu House stories, something which is definitely possible. His twitter presence still exists. His Facebook profile still exists. The few who have met him (Marie Calloway and Elizabeth Ellen) have yet to understand what makes this Waldo weird. 

                Elizabeth Ellen met Zac Zellers in 2010. Hipsters were dying off back then. No great bands came about in 2010. For the most part it was a blank slate of a year. A few bands died off in 2010. Elizabeth had her first in real life sighting of Zac back in that troubled year. He stood in the crowd at a reading. She didn’t approach him but recognized him from afar. Right in the beginning she felt stupid being so anxious about Zac. The dude was only 19 at the time. Even now, at this precise moment, Zac cannot legally purchase or consume alcohol in his home state of Michigan. Within the story she claims she felt foolish feeling so much anxiety about this Zac fellow. Heck she even had a daughter. Yet there remained something peculiar about this character. 

                Tao Lin and Elizabeth met briefly, hence Zac’s appearance. Unfortunately Mike Young and Elizabeth were not invited to see the movie where Joaquin Phoenix tried to become a rapper. Zac went. Zac worked at the movie theater. At that place she saw him all the time selling candy with care, like some crazed animal earning minimum wage as idiots watched mind-numbing movies to help them forget the drudgery of their meaningless lives. Movies suck. 

                Elizabeth felt unsure about the internet life. She was unable to determine whether or not Zac and Marie Calloway met. Many still wonder if Marie Calloway exists in real life so Elizabeth is not alone. Those who have met Marie Calloway appear to have a similar feeling about ‘enigmatic online presence’ that Elizabeth has about Zac Zellers. She de-activates Facebook, a wise decision. Yet she claims to have not seen Zac online since then. This is odd as Zac maintains a relatively ‘open’ online presence complete with an acceptable twitter ratio and Facebook friends. 

                This is a story about what happens when online stalking happens too much. Normally those obsessed about do not care about the others people’s obsessions. It is a strange thing. Zac remains a mystery hiding in plain sight in Michigan just like Waldo.