Beach Sloth

liefplus:

this saturday in nyc :) see the facebook event for more info

Beach Sloth’s Birthday Bash (NYC)

                I’m so vain; I probably think this blogpost is about me. 

                This is going to be a huge weekend in the big city. I am looking for a babysitter for the weekend, for Marie Calloway’s party and now this, my first public appearance as a sloth. If you know of anybody who would make a good babysitter for three loveable sloth kids, that would be great. Taking resumes from people across the internet. I’m looking for a caring, compassionate babysitter with twitter skills. You can teach my kids how to tweet. Also you get three ice cream bars from the freezer for each night. 

                39 is a big age, one year bigger than 38. Boy a lot happens in a year! One year you’re editing a 50K + word e-book, next year you’re making things by hand, sending them out one by one. Things change. A whole year ago nobody knew me. I hid from the spotlight like a sunburned mime. What happened? Figured I needed to do this, to meet alt lit people so I could study their habits in their natural environment. Unfortunately alt lit people exist IRL too, so my blog coverage before was incomplete. Let me say these IRL observations have affected me in ways I never thought possible. I have been hugged IRL like I’ve never been hugged before. 

                How do you get there, to the fabled land of 345 Eldert Street? Simply take the gentrification express better known as the ‘L Train’. Go to the Halsey stop. This is a big huge apartment building. You cannot miss it. It takes up the whole block because it is that relevant. Check out the building. Raise a slothy family in its loft living apartments. I hope to raise my slothy family in a huge loft. Want to see my children hang off the ceiling in the ‘inside tree’. Inside trees are structurally supporting trees. 

                Go through the list of cool people. I see all these twenty-something hip people. Wonder what they’ll think of me? Here I am some alt lit dad bro with cool kids. These kids are hip. Good thing I cover music too, think that’ll help me. Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Raffi songs with my young ones. By now I know all about this Baby Beluga butt wipe. My kids made sure of it. Even without ‘the wheels on the bus’ I knew that the wheels on the bus go round and round. That’s not exactly brain surgery. Really disappointed in my kids, they ought to know how wheels move, it’s sad that a song had to tell them that. 

                Steve Roggenbuck was kind enough to set up this little celebration on my behalf. Birthdays can be hard. You gain a year. When I look back on this year I think to myself ‘What a wonderful internet’. Truly it is beautiful. Happy I will be meeting many of these people for the first time, friends like Lucy K Shaw, a legend around my house. Lucy K Shaw loves shabby doll houses yet she is not too shabby! 

                Readers include those I have met: Guillaume Morisette from Quebec, Santino Dela, a prolific writer and tweeter, and Spencer Madsen, a dear friend. Indeed I want my kids to hang out with Spencer Madsen. People long to create a twitter presence as good as Spencer Madsen’s. I’m certain if my children would hang out with Spencer for just a day they could step up their twitter game. That guy, that Spencer, has it made with his twitter following. I am impressed and I don’t impress easily. Finally the last reader is the infinitely popular Steve Roggenbuck. Honestly hanging out with Steve is like hanging out with an old friend. 

                Steve Roggenbuck and I have been through a lot on this big old internet. We have visited Bebe Zeva, Flarfed at each other, boosted, co-boosted, and post-boosted. Our bro hugs are legendary. Primarily though I consider Steve Roggenbuck to be a true friend. Bros only get bros of Steve Roggenbuck quality once in a lifetime. He is truly a rare find, a cock man among a crowd of mere cock boys. 

                Oh yeah, you better believe I’m going to be at this shindig. Say hi. Give me a hug. Buy a book from any assorted writer in attendance. Give out Charleston Chews. I love those things. 

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, here’s my twitter handle, so follow me maybe?