Internet People IRL
We’re back to the rock star of the anonymous alt lit movement: Peterbd and his famous ‘Internet People IRL’. He’s dropping these little hints about alt lit like breadcrumbs. Now you can find his trail all along the Eastern Seaboard. See these photos? These are the photos of youth. When you’re old you’ll see these photos and be like: I partied hard. Most of these photos have pictures of pizza. You’ll miss pizza too because pizza will be extinct by 2032. Indeed, it’s rarely talked about but pizza isn’t producing enough pizza babies. Demographically speaking, pizza is aging. Soon pizza pension systems won’t be able to support the amount of retired pizzas. Then pizza will be extinct. Until then, eat up Buttercup, McGuillicuddy that is.
Buttercup hit the pizza pretty hard this night, judging by the photos. The first photo shows Buttercup playing air guitar while eating pizza. He’s pretty good at air guitar shredding. Actually he earns literally thousands of dollars-worth of alt lit credit on the internet. Go to any Blogspot and he’s probably been there. Can’t believe Buttercup has done so much. He travels everywhere IRL. Baltimore could not have a better booster than Buttercup.
Everyone smiles in a blurry photo. Though you can’t see their faces, you can feel the love. It radiates from Carolyn, Jackson, and DJ’s faces. What’s shocking is the apparent violence that comes after Jackson and DJ bro hard. Bro-ing hard is one of the basic tenants of alt lit. You have to bro-down to hoe-down as alt lit says in Texas. And alt lit hoe-downs are lovely things indeed.
DJ pummels poor Jackson. I find this unbelievable. All Jackson needs to do is simply stand up. Game over. Jackson instead thinks ‘Oh chill, I’m getting beaten up’. Nobody comes to his aid. Buttercup sends out text messages. Carolyn wants to check her Facebook on her phone. Maybe they really did care and the photo doesn’t capture it. Perhaps Buttercup and Carolyn tweeted ‘Please come over quick, Jackson’s getting beaten up. Send help’.
Jackson fights back. I can’t believe DJ is such a maniac. Look at that face. That is the face of a madman. Look at Jae’s face. That is the face of someone who loves her pizza. She finishes it too, right in time to see the fight end. Jackson and DJ reconcile and become best friends again. Wonder why DJ picked on Jackson. Is it because he’s a Kiwi? Is that it? Or is it simpler? Could DJ be jealous of Jackson’s incredible height? I admit I’m jealous of Jackson’s height. That’s probably why everything is fantastic for Jackson, he sees more than your average person.
They all eat cheese balls. Chugging down cheese balls is the new beer drinking of 2012. I’m surprised though. Even though this is Shaun’s place we don’t see Shaun. Feel Shaun probably became a ghost once Peter began taking pictures. At least Peter got a couch to sleep on. Couches are better than floors. Though I believe beds are the best, with hanging upside in a tree a close second.
Wonder what comes next. Peter promises us a ‘roof party’. I am happy Peter takes so many pictures.