Beach Sloth

Swine: Issue One

                I support every animal-related literary journal. There aren’t many of them. Someday I hope to see more love for the Earth’s many creatures. Until then I have ‘Swine’ a literary journal asking 10 tough questions and loving the pigs. Pigs get a bad reputation. I think pigs write some seriously excellent poetry. After reading these poems I feel it may be time to introduce a pig into alt lit. Maybe alt lit for pigs can be called ‘pig lit’ via ‘Pooh Bear’. 

                Amy Herschleb: it does not have to be that way. Your hair is not on fire. Water is everywhere. This is water. The bathtub has water. Bukowski is dead. Do not shower with a dead man. I remember hearing that long ago and I think it is still correct. Dead people generally smell it is the sort of smell no shower can wash away. One cannot defeat death with body wash. Read up on the GDR. See how they dealt with the problem. 

                Sean Kilpatrick writes about a messed up condition. How can a disease spread to a motorcycle? I can bullshit. Mercury infects our music videos which surprises me. I thought Mercury was a planet or a really boring car line. Guess I’m wrong. Comas touching sounds grammatically incorrect yet very suggestive, sexually so. I doubt teething powders have changed much since 1954. 1954 was the golden era of teething powders. 

                Mike Hauser starts out cursing up a storm. Cheese is an important part of the problem. Obviously Mike likes his yellow cheese. The internet forgives j/k it never does. I think the internet is Catholic since it makes me feel guilty, for all the things I’m not doing. War is a cock because it fucks up everything. At least that’s what Mike seems to imply or rather state. Mike does not answer why the cretins started the war. I like the use of cretin in here. Surrounded by all the cursing he surprises me a bit with the language. 

                Leslie Patron writes about the newest fad in fashion: the cat/girl hybrid. It is a tragic tale. One day a girl was walking her cat when suddenly she was hit by massive doses of Gamma radiation. Now she sleeps all day and is adorable. By day she is a simple record store employee but by night she sleeps. Her poem deals with the inhumanity of driving. This is why I walk. I feel really sad reading about that cat. Yet we’re moving too fast to show compassion towards others. Speed is a substitute for substance. 

                Jared Joseph is blunt. Every phrase strikes. A few of these lines are wonderful. ‘heart kitsched by glitter trample’ is probably one of my favorite. Kitsch is a form of love. Nobody sees kitsch in quite the same way. He writes about amateurs in the area. Think he’s probably referring to a sex-dating site called ‘Adult Friend Finder’. There are amateurs in your area on that site, from what I’ve heard. 

                Carrie Lorig is highly regarded for her hair. She writes in an organized fashion here. Her poem has some fun with the form. Apparently opening cheeks is a normal thing in this poem. For some reason I think the trees and smoke are reasonable. Trees are so weird. I don’t know where it needs indeed. Wish I knew where tree needed. 

                Parker Tettleton writes quickly. Either he’s in a hurry or he’s a genius. Words work for him and not the other way around. I wonder why the third sentence is part-time. Think that sentence could become full time. The third sentence needs a 401K and health benefits. It can’t get them by being part-time. Law is under the lawn at least in graveyards. 

                James Schiller engages in some ‘slash and write’. Libido is the new intestines. You just digest slightly different things, interest levels, eye contact, etc. Softcore prosthetics sound dark and sexy. Triangle statues are holy. Think of the hipster religion. Hipsters worship the triangle but they know someday when two triangles meet they’ll be square. That’s growing up I reckon. 

                I like this collection. Happy this is their first one and they got so many wonderful writers. A few of them, I’m not going to lie, are brand-spanking new to me. I’m not as caught up with the alt-lit scene though I’m trying. Get caught up with pig-lit with Swine.