Reflecting on my first year of Sobriety by Jordan Castro

                Sober is a great way to be. For plenty of people their lives might not start out this way. Maybe something goes wrong in their life. Maybe something doesn’t. Maybe it is simply boredom. Whatever the reason the days become cloudy. Whatever day, whatever month it is doesn’t matter. This is the scary part the disassociation from the normal daily routines where the body finds itself absorbed by things put into it for pleasure, now put into it for addiction. And the routine for addiction is never scheduled. It happens whenever it feels like happening taking control of a person’s life because it can because it is a chemical. 

                Things come to a head in different way. An overdose can happen. In other instances maybe the person looks too terrible to check into a nice hotel. However it happens there is the eventual intrusion of reality into the cloudy mind a moment of clarity. From there plenty of considerably better things can happen. During that precise instant a person has a choice where they can actually reflect upon their life and wonder what happened. Some people choose not to bother with it calling it a fleeting moment. Others try to do something different opting for a turn around. Those that turn around see what they did to people the lack of responsibility, of selfishness they were driven to because of a dependency. 

                Next comes the hard part: the letting go. Initially cleaning up hurts physically hurts. The sobering up after months and years perhaps of not being sober becomes wretched. At first it started out not as an addiction but as a way to simply be at parties morphed into something else. For a while the withdrawal symptoms are dreadful things hurting the mind. Insane schemes come up without any regard to their realistic nature. Upon reflection the mind realizes that sobriety is something that can be achieved. Such a realization is important for it realizes that the temporary pain is worth it to achieve a kind of balance in day to day life. 

                 After enough time being sober schedules start to form. The days become easier to manage. Work becomes infinitely more important. Everything becomes more important. Friends that helped individuals sober up become long term friends. Before this the only useful things involved meeting sketchy people in sketchy places. Gradually the highs of addiction are shown to be merely a subsistence lifestyle not something that could have been done long term. Having a sustainable life is of the utmost importance and that is one of the greatest things to gain after beating addiction.

Reflecting on my first year of Sobriety by Jordan Castro

                Sober is a great way to be. For plenty of people their lives might not start out this way. Maybe something goes wrong in their life. Maybe something doesn’t. Maybe it is simply boredom. Whatever the reason the days become cloudy. Whatever day, whatever month it is doesn’t matter. This is the scary part the disassociation from the normal daily routines where the body finds itself absorbed by things put into it for pleasure, now put into it for addiction. And the routine for addiction is never scheduled. It happens whenever it feels like happening taking control of a person’s life because it can because it is a chemical. 

                Things come to a head in different way. An overdose can happen. In other instances maybe the person looks too terrible to check into a nice hotel. However it happens there is the eventual intrusion of reality into the cloudy mind a moment of clarity. From there plenty of considerably better things can happen. During that precise instant a person has a choice where they can actually reflect upon their life and wonder what happened. Some people choose not to bother with it calling it a fleeting moment. Others try to do something different opting for a turn around. Those that turn around see what they did to people the lack of responsibility, of selfishness they were driven to because of a dependency. 

                Next comes the hard part: the letting go. Initially cleaning up hurts physically hurts. The sobering up after months and years perhaps of not being sober becomes wretched. At first it started out not as an addiction but as a way to simply be at parties morphed into something else. For a while the withdrawal symptoms are dreadful things hurting the mind. Insane schemes come up without any regard to their realistic nature. Upon reflection the mind realizes that sobriety is something that can be achieved. Such a realization is important for it realizes that the temporary pain is worth it to achieve a kind of balance in day to day life. 

                 After enough time being sober schedules start to form. The days become easier to manage. Work becomes infinitely more important. Everything becomes more important. Friends that helped individuals sober up become long term friends. Before this the only useful things involved meeting sketchy people in sketchy places. Gradually the highs of addiction are shown to be merely a subsistence lifestyle not something that could have been done long term. Having a sustainable life is of the utmost importance and that is one of the greatest things to gain after beating addiction.

5 Poems by Parker Tettleton

                Lots of people ask for change. How to handle such situations depends on how long a person has spent living in cities. An excuse has to be made up for people. The sheer probability of someone eventually caving in and giving change is pretty high hence why people do it in the first place. Not making eye contact is a good way to avoid the question. Glazed over stares work well in many situations in life and is usually how people manage to survive in a world filled with strangers. 

                The world can become happier given the right circumstances. Many times the world is wrong. With pets the world becomes less wrong as people prepare to take care of the world outside themselves if only for a little bit of time. Public transportation celebrates the individual and takes away their responsibility for a short period of time as it shows people brand new worlds. On and off the public transportation people fill their lives with media because the media helps them focus on something besides themselves for a brief moment in time. 

                Little things can be found in brief moments in time. Sofa fill up lives with the unnecessary making them necessary. The art of laziness is a must. Anybody who works too hard finds themselves entirely burned out towards the end of their lives wishing they had changed a bulb every now and again. Nobody can constantly work hard every day. Even the weather needs the rain to wash the Earth out. Belief in oneself helps to make such forms of tiredness acceptable. From the past comes the present which forms the future. The future is a gussied up version of the present just with a few more devices and products.  
 
                Generations have their peculiar sounds. It is how the Rolling Stones came to sell life insurance, how The Who sells Roth IRAs, and how politicians sell pills to help people sexually satisfy each other. A fire pit is where all the enlightenment comes from after the wood is charred and the marshmallows burnt to a tender crisp. Out there in somewhere it is somebody birthday and even greater numbers of people need to care. Relatives are forced to give out cards for the special occasion as they hope for the absolute best. The transportation lets them out to nowhere in particular to reflect on what it means to age and to grow into becoming a family member.

5 Poems by Parker Tettleton

                Lots of people ask for change. How to handle such situations depends on how long a person has spent living in cities. An excuse has to be made up for people. The sheer probability of someone eventually caving in and giving change is pretty high hence why people do it in the first place. Not making eye contact is a good way to avoid the question. Glazed over stares work well in many situations in life and is usually how people manage to survive in a world filled with strangers. 

                The world can become happier given the right circumstances. Many times the world is wrong. With pets the world becomes less wrong as people prepare to take care of the world outside themselves if only for a little bit of time. Public transportation celebrates the individual and takes away their responsibility for a short period of time as it shows people brand new worlds. On and off the public transportation people fill their lives with media because the media helps them focus on something besides themselves for a brief moment in time. 

                Little things can be found in brief moments in time. Sofa fill up lives with the unnecessary making them necessary. The art of laziness is a must. Anybody who works too hard finds themselves entirely burned out towards the end of their lives wishing they had changed a bulb every now and again. Nobody can constantly work hard every day. Even the weather needs the rain to wash the Earth out. Belief in oneself helps to make such forms of tiredness acceptable. From the past comes the present which forms the future. The future is a gussied up version of the present just with a few more devices and products.  

 

                Generations have their peculiar sounds. It is how the Rolling Stones came to sell life insurance, how The Who sells Roth IRAs, and how politicians sell pills to help people sexually satisfy each other. A fire pit is where all the enlightenment comes from after the wood is charred and the marshmallows burnt to a tender crisp. Out there in somewhere it is somebody birthday and even greater numbers of people need to care. Relatives are forced to give out cards for the special occasion as they hope for the absolute best. The transportation lets them out to nowhere in particular to reflect on what it means to age and to grow into becoming a family member.

my heart rate is 1 beat per minute by Steve Roggenbuck

                Haircare is of the utmost importance to Steve Roggenbuck. Gelled up mohawks are beautiful things to experience firsthand. People with mohawks tend to be highly lauded and respectable members of their community. Necklines too remain an important part of the haircare experience. Fortunately Steve Roggenbuck takes good care of his neckline. Steve Roggenbuck makes plans to shit next Saturday. In today’s fast paced world it is important to set aside time to shit. Without this time how can shit truly get real? Besides this Steve Roggenbuck has a heart that beats so hard it beats only one time per minute. If Steve Roggenbuck’s heart beats more than one time per minute YouTube cannot handle it. Too much love comes into the YouTube clip and it becomes a spiritual-ass experience, probably. 

                Steve Roggenbuck talks about the poop shoot quite a bit in this video. The poop shoot is symbolic of a poop shoot. Without a poop shoot people have serious difficulties. For individuals born without an anus they dream of poop shoots, of going to the bathroom like normal, anus-wielding individuals. Good thing Steve Roggenbuck gives a necessary shout out to a courageous individual who had a NILLA WAFER up in their poop shoot for a half hour. Oddly this is how NILLA WAFERS are usually made. Every time a person eats a NILLA WAFER they taste the poop shoot of a master NILLA WAFER expert. Passed down for generations the NILLA WAFER recipe originally came from ancient Mesopotamia.  

 

                Towards the end of the video Steve Roggenbuck feels quite randy. This is encouraging. Years go by without people feeling their inner randy. Randy is the inner child for everybody’s lust. A life without lust is a life that is hella boring, to quote the famous some random guy. Judging by the extreme emotional expression that graces Steve Roggenbuck’s face, his inner Randy comes forth. 

                For a while Steve Roggenbuck moves away from his inner Randy. Sometimes it can be hard to express love for the world. The world can be a cruel and unforgiving place, a place filled with gel pens but a place that might not actually gel for anybody. At the very tip top end of the piece Steve Roggenbuck expresses true love. Seemingly out of nowhere a dog appears and makes out with Steve Roggenbuck. Obviously the love between the two of them is palpable. Steve Roggenbuck loves life and loves the dogs of life.

Hanetration - Murmurist EP 8.0

                Hanetration moves into the light with the “Murmurist EP”. The sound remains distinctly Hanetration’s territory: warped drone, glitches, found rhythms, and subtle melodies. Within this territory Hanetration’s music appears to be more at ease. Sounds have brightened up considerably since Hanetration’s last effort. As a result this is easily Hanetration’s most optimistic effort to date and perhaps the most heartfelt. 

                Music from a long thin distance defines the elongated opening of “Morning”. From various shifts and distortions the song eventually settles into an abstract rhythm towards the end with the glitch effects working to make the ending rather gentle. On “Begin” the song settles into a natural rhythm with the many glitch pieces working together to create a groove of sorts. Easily the best thing on the entire collection the song has a slight surf vibe to it, if surf music had been thrown into an unthinkable number of filters. There is something incredibly calming about “Begin” and its hypnotic repetition. “Wither” takes things into more naturalistic territory with clearly discernible environment noises adding a human touch to the delicate drones. Melodies are longing at first yet unlike Hanetration’s previous efforts he lets that longing end for the sweet release of the end where the many pieces are brought together to create a full picture of the sound. 

                For “Sundown” Hanetration ends things on a quiet ambient note with tribal aspects coming through with strange hesitant rhythm adding additional depth to the piece. Hanetration’s “Murmurist EP” is a true thing of unusual beauty.

the moon temple aesthetic by moon temple

                Moon Temple is the Lou Reed of Alt Lit. Everything she does is so cool. If you think you are cooler than Moon Temple you are dead wrong. Fortunately for those unable to be Moon Temple there is the next best thing: an instructional video. YouTube has a plethora of self-help videos and Moon Temple’s is by far the best. By helping others to study her mannerisms Moon Temple is beginning the process of starting up her own cult. 

                Sunglasses at night are a good first step. Moon Temple stares blankly at the camera as the music plays. Without doing a lot Moon Temple says it all. The brightness of the dark room is clearly too much for her. Everything around her is her own aesthetic choice. A clean white shirt expresses her desire to be well-attired and indeed she rocks out with the shirt. Moving away from the camera she rolls her own cigarette symbolizing the inevitable death that millions freely choose every day. Her commentary speaks volumes without her having to utter a word. 

                The singer of the song says some stuff in an emotional tone hence being very “EMO”. Moon Temple swivels on her chair apparently indifferent to whatever the singer is talking about. Usually singers can’t sing it strong enough, as the famous singer Stephen Malkmus once said in his non-award winning song “Zurich is Stained”. For a brief moment Moon Temple rocks her head as if she is confirming that the song has touched her in a specific way before returning to the task in her hands. Upon completion of her task Moon Temple rocks out in a sedated way. 

                Like a cat she stares at the computer screen. Unlike a cat she is able to understand exactly what is happening on the computer screen. The computer screen basks her in a warming glow as she smokes a cigarette. She looks around at her room, the empire of herself, and appears unfazed by what she sees. Everything around her is of her invention: from the cigarette to the swivel chair that helps to give her great posture. 

                Out of seemingly nowhere Moon Temple drinks from a two liter bottle of Diet Pepsi. Symbolic of the artificial sweetness of the song playing in the background she chugs it willingly, happy to have access to a delicious beverage. It ends of course with her finishing her chug of that great taste that never lets her down. She puts down the Diet Pepsi and the video cuts to black.

Make Saucepot Publishing a Thing by Megan Lent and Birtu Belete

                Saucepot Publishing is saucy. Literature needs a little bit of sauce to give it some real oomph. Thankfully there is Megan Lent and Birtu Belete to kick things up a notch. What can Saucepot Publishing do differently from all the other publishing groups out there? And more importantly, what kind of sauce will Saucepot Publishing make?

                The publishing world needs Saucepot Publishing. Right now writing is pretty dry. Written on dried-out husks of dead trees publishing is as dry as it gets. Glossing things over might make the pages a bit shinier but honestly it does nothing to improve the quality or save the trees. Saucepot Publishing is going to do things way differently. Yes they are going to publish words on pages, no getting around that. For whatever reason humans like feeling dead trees on their hands since humans are pretty anti-tree, even building shelters out of trees. Unlike a vast majority of published works, Saucepot Publishing is going to be simply the best, better than all the rest. 

                Megan Lent is a formidable figure in the Alt Lit scene. Beach Sloth has nothing but the utmost respect for the amount of work Megan Lent puts into her writing. It is quite impressive. While Beach Sloth honestly does not know anything about Birtu Belete he can definitely make up some stuff about her. Born out of a giant butterfly fuck fest Birtu Belete descended to Earth to do one thing: to ensure that no one ever pays full price at Marshalls. Annoyed at Marshall’s ridiculous lack of savings she found herself hired by competing political ideologies to help young children realize that if they don’t need clothes it should not matter how much they are on sale for, they are unnecessary expenses. When Birtu Belete is not busy extolling the virtues of frugality she writes plays about anthropomorphic silverware trying to send their children to college in a post-capitalist society. 

                With two of the greatest minds the Internet has ever seen in the past hour or so, Saucepot Publishing is going to rule with a saucy fist. That is going to be a bit of a letdown as the sauce could have easily been put onto a plate of noodles or nice bread, but no it had to go on a fist. Anyway with such power Saucepot Publishing is going to bring delicious pieces of work to the masses, the online literary masses.

Which Alt Lit Writer Are You? Take The Quiz. By Josh Spilker

                Alt Lit is growing huge. Ever since some random English bro from England decided to mock Alt Lit it has gone international. Perhaps Josh Baines did not intend for his Vice Magazine article to essentially make Alt Lit official, well tough for him it is stronger than ever. Recently a major player in the Alt Lit scene, some southern bro named Josh Spilker took it to the next level. By taking an online quiz one can find out exactly what Alt Lit writer they are. The results are astounding. 

                Beach Sloth got “Beach Sloth” as a writer. Steve Roggenbuck got “Steve Roggenbuck”. The test obviously works and obviously is pretty great. Maybe writers might object to being classified by a particular style but whatever, at least with an online test it becomes a little bit easier. Before the Internet people were doing it anyway, comparing themselves to Ernest Hemingway because they too hated people or comparing themselves to Charles Bukowski because they too hated people. 

                Unlike previous writing movements Alt Lit tends to not hate people. This is why a lot of people take issue with Alt Lit, claiming it does not “hate people enough” and is not outright “angry”. Rather Alt Lit explores what it means to be alive today and honestly it does not mean much. Nasty edges from life have been smoothed off to reveal a sometimes deep-seeded sadness that the world offers to everybody. By trying to actively find ways to get out of a culture that can at times feel so negative it can liberate people. 

                The quiz shows off this fact. Partly joking the ridiculousness of “What ___ are you” quizzes that rule the Internet’s waves the quiz tries to determine exactly what it is that makes up the essence of being alive online today. Life is mostly lived online anyway, downloaded occasionally when people need to go to work and to hang out in public. 

                Everybody really ought to take the quiz. Upon completing the quiz Beach Sloth ate yummy pickled and spicy asparagus. This could be anybody’s life, a life of leisure and a helping of greens. Questions within the quiz are the kind of things that make anyone re-evaluate their life and wonder if they are living it correctly. Honestly there is no wrong way to live a life. Nobody has the same path. Some people’s paths lead them online. Some people’s paths lead them offline. Beach Sloth does not know those offline people but he has heard things about them and assumes they exist. With this quiz though people can do more than merely exist they can live their life.

BE MORE LIKE TOGEPI   

                TOGEPI is a Pokémon. Like all good Pokémon TOGEPI desires to get caught. A world without TOGEPI is a world full of sadness. What TOGEPI brings to the table is a sense of true compassion for other fellow Pokémon. Many claim that Pokémon is a basic show with cute adorable characters that engage in fake battle for little to no reason. For those who know the truth Pokémon and TOGEPI specifically, are real. 

                1943 the world was at war. Nobody could see an end to a war that had claimed so many lives. Scientists were working like mad to discover the greatest breakthrough, a thing that could end the war. Mad scientists came about from this extreme stress. One of the scientists, a fellow by the dubious name John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, came up with an experiment so maddening that it literally tore a hole into the cosmos. 

                Dubbed “The Philadelphia Project” the mission was to cloak ships from Axis detection. The plan did not go smoothly. Many sailors found themselves entering unsavory ports, vertexes. Out of the hole ripped in the cosmos came adorable cute creatures. Deemed a threat by the US military the Pokémon were stored in a secret location in Area 51 and spread out evenly across Northern Alaska. 

                Area 51 kept the Pokémon safe from prying foreign eyes. Those Pokémon in Northern Alaska began to suffer from the effects of too little and too much sunlight. Gradually those Pokémon went mad being able to only say their name using various different inflections. Upon the fall of the Iron Curtain the military budget in the United States was drastically slashed. Keeping up the Northern Alaskan Pokémon project became untenable. 

                Pokémon saw this decreased security as a chance to break free. Led by TOGEPI they made their way across the Bering Strait but disliking the cold north they went south. Eventually the Pokémon reached Japan and asked for political asylum. Japan granted asylum after intense negotiations with the United States and TOGEPI. Later their struggle was transformed into an award-winning, critically acclaimed show. However that show failed so they just made the show “Pokémon” and hoped saying their names while looking cute would pay the bills. It did. 

                TOGEPI brought the Pokémon to salvation. As acknowledgement for the great work he was represented as the most empathetic character on “Pokémon”. TOGEPI’s ability to care is one of the true hallmarks of a good leader. Though the show does not get into TOGEPI’s backstory TOGEPI later got a movie based around him. Entitled “Freddy Got Fingered” it elegantly represented everything TOGEPI stood for and worked in his life to get. TOGEPI reached the top of that mountain to look below and see a beautiful career made infinitely excellent.