Telepathic Telephones is more punk than you. If you think that you’re even one percent as punk as Telepathic Telephones prepare to be assaulted by an onslaught of machine gun wielding teddy bears, smoking dinosaurs, and a hobo with a briefcase. Right from the beginning of the movie’s scummy origins you know you are in for a real treat of the mind. Let the movie simply take hold of you and never let you go. Honestly you will be better off for it. Fighting the movie’s bizarre scenarios will only end poorly for you. What will work best for you? Accept the movie for what it is, for its infinite playfulness, sit down, and watch it on your on time. Your mind will leak from your eyes and ears as Telepathic Telephones plays.
Plot is pointless to discuss and you are better off not knowing. Rather what you do need to know is a little bit about the characters. Within a movie of a movie is about the most easy to comprehend aspect of it, for you at least. After that things get considerably messier and there you are, listening to weird messed up rock that sound like it has been living on a mattress in your garage for the past three months, wondering what happened to art where could it go from here. Of course you don’t have an answer, have you ever had an answer about what your mind tries to process. Rest assured your mind will have great difficulty trying to figure out exactly what happens.
A collection of the weirdest characters playfully mess with each other and your expectations of it. When things get comfortable that’s right where Telepathic Telephones really shines, at least for you, you wonderful creature. Do you want random tap dancing? Oh yeah you better believe there’s some serious tap dancing. Is there is need that you have for a newborn dinosaur to bum a cigarette off of his dinosaur father? Yes that is coming straight at you. Plus, there are a few nice jumps in history just for you in case you aren’t already totally confused. You probably are confused and that is perfectly okay.
Dialogue, conflict, these are things that you come to expect to be presented to you on a nice silver platter. Unfortunately as most of this was filmed in Michigan and Illinois expect the plot to be mangled upon the countless graffiti-tagged pieces of concrete. Telepathic Telephones can be great fun if you surrender to its many temptations. It is best to simply jump right into the movie, that’s the best possible outcome for you.
Death Cat Comics is a pro-cat publication. Too many creatures exist on Planet Earth. It is refreshing to see a cat willing to take out the trash. For years plenty of creatures have lollygagged around not doing much of anything. With the help of Death Cat Comics there is the potential of stand-up comedian cats to literally ‘kill it’ via death. Harbingers of death the cat comics go into comedy clubs. Standing head and shoulders above the rest of the comedians (via their intricate costumes where they pretend to be a large human) the cat comics tell jokes to the audience. Audience members laugh at the cat comics whether or not they are funny, just like they have been conditioned to do for everyone at stand-up comedy. Of course the laughing stops after the cats get out of the bag and start taking out the comedy club trash. Millions of unfunny comedians have been taken out thanks to the Death Cat Comics.
To celebrate the beauty of the Death Cat Comics they are getting their own comic book. Honestly everybody ought to be excited by this development. Comedy has gotten better thanks to the valiant efforts of killer cats. People who would have foolishly become doctors have been persuaded to become dentists who tell lame jokes. Sure a lame joke telling dentist might be irritating but at least they can fix a tooth every now and then. Bad comedy needs to be taken out and Death Cat Comics are the only cats with enough guts.
Midwestern comic book stores will have these special books recalling the great deeds of the Death Cat Comics. Besides cats, the comic books discuss the importance of asshole balloons, the kind of balloons that escape from children. Balloons mostly exist to keep children happy. Every time a balloon floats away it goes to that big balloon graveyard in the sky, where it is recycled and sold to another child, only to be lost once more. Additionally a talking Christmas tree is there because talking Christmas Trees are pretty punk. Christmas can be the most punk holiday; all it takes is just a little work.
Can Death Cat Comics get the money they need to be punk enough? Is color going to really bring out the hardcore nature of the comics? Judging by the short video and Kickstarter they have very punk things going on, for the entire world to see. With a little bit of help they can help other see the beauty of messed-up heartfelt comics.
Akin to the warped pop of Safety Scissors or the caffeinated hyperactive Max Tundra, Resistor’s ‘First World Problems’ is incredibly strange at first but grows with each additional listen. The hyper-lyrical sensibilities coupled alongside the just-off arrangements make it endearing. ‘First World Problems’ sings parodying the point of view of privilege (as shown with the album’s title). Humorous in a dark way it manages a certain level of just-off song craft. Vocals help to reinforce this sense of ridiculousness. Employing a synthesizer pop approach with a rather focused range, Resistor explores the sound fully.
Pop sensibility adds an additional level of irony with the dark lyrics. ‘First World Problems’ uses this to great effect with a downright cheerful melody over despondent lyrics. Even the lyrics discuss this irony with his focus on his misery despite the incredible luxuries he is able to enjoy that others shall never attain. ‘Narcissist’ sings about the enjoyment of social media and its potential to reinforce narcissistic behavior. While loving himself he judges others for looking downright terrible. Yes the sarcasm is quite heavy on this particular piece. If R. Stevie Moore ever wrote about the dualities of social media, its positive and negative attributes, it might sound a little like this.
Towards the end things reach a nadir of cynicism. ‘Vincent van Gogh’ talks about the disappointment associated with toiling away as an artist with little reward in the real life, and succeeding posthumously. For the finale Resistor takes everything to the logical absurd with ‘Choose Your Parents Well’ that appears to be the long-lost relative of Negativland’s ‘Happy Hero’ right down to the same level of cheery tone put in stark contrast to the harsh lyrics. ‘First World Problems’ is a perfectly executed album successfully poking fun at what success means.
Unfortunately like all good several day long reviews, this too must end. And boy what an ending it is! With so many writers contributing it is important to remember exactly what they are writing for: they write for everyone and no one. Audience comes after a writer has written for a couple of years. The writer who has an instant audience with their first word isn’t much of a writer, more of a person forcing their opinion onto others. Writers find audiences under rocks, in between the crannies of the world. Matt Margo simply polished up some of those rocks and let them loose onto a semi-suspecting public.
Ali Znaidi tries to find light in lanterns and fails. Nobody bothered putting the candle wick. Post-punk enjoys a crow’s caw. Singers of post-punk tend to like their livelihood happy to have avoided the original punk which is a harder scene. Greyhounds prey on people without any other options. Overtures begin after everything else has become exhausted.
Billy Bob Beamer shares heart. Heart breaks up depending on how it is feeling. The feeling is important. A duplex is full of feeling, double the normal feeling. Warped Christmas scum lives for the holiday season.
Brannon Watts represents the world for the person making next to nothing. Yet that person is responsible for so much. When the little people protest everybody hurts. To date few have ever really realized that the world is run by the little people. So much pomp and celebration goes to the people who make it. Due to the limited resources on Earth not everybody makes it. Humanity’s goal should be to treat people with something like respect. Words slip off the tongue without much in the way of value. Fakeness gets the parties. Realness can be terrifying. One day there will be a spring for the little people tired of propping up the big people. At some point the big people will have to acknowledge the little people and let them feel the love that is self-sustainability, that is a decent life, that is the ability to support and care for friends with families.
Paul Christian lives the plane life. Economy class is true ass. Traveling in style fell by the wayside. Nobody bothered to pick it up. Instead there are strange equations trying to determine how many people can possibly fit on a plane. Averages are used to try and ensure everyone get slightly enough space. Armrests are war-zones. People glare at each other. Money determines what happens and most people don’t have the dollar bills for it.
Krystal Sierra lets go. Objects are objectified. Nothing can bring as much comfort as a memory. The things of life merely hold those memories until better ones come up. Upon the completion of childhood the memories evaporate as the world becomes more promising. Wings are spread and the sky is a limit.
Francis Kou Sugita tries to remember. Bodies are covered in curtains trying to keep the flesh on the inside. Outside nobody wants to see it. When two people get to know each other well enough there is a need for the curtain to be parted.
Derek Lessard knew what he had. The feeling was beautiful. Growing up with parents who care about each other is a wonderful thought. Children in a loved environment are able to export that love to others to help improve the quality of life everywhere. Listeners have the joy of letting space take up their time. Here is a place that people can live. Every morning with a new sun comes a present hoping to be better than the past. That is the reason people wake up in the morning: to live life a little better.
Thus concludes the epic beginnings of what will be a continuing collection. Matt Margo outdid himself with this one. Hopefully in future issues he shall successfully take his parts and put them back together.
As promised the review begins with an orange. Those unaware of what an orange is it is more than a color, it is a fruit. People who eat oranges live longer and healthier lives. This information has been statistically proven by statistics that refuse to reveal themselves. Statistics enjoy lying to people. And people foolishly accept them for what they are.
Susan Sweetland Garay eats an orange. Her body replaces blood. Life moves forward. Outside the rain replenishes the ground with its unique take on rhythm and patterns. Everyone is an animal in their own special way. Rain is always on the way even during the worst possible droughts. Winter encourages indoor comfort as the outsides are ravaged.
Daniela Voicu celebrates the spring vampires. Unlike the winter vampires who have it so easy spring vampires have fewer hours in the day to feed. Such things are problematic. The glorious colors of the flowers make for far nicer trips out for blood. Wounds from childhood take a toll on life. A few people fail to recover from the injuries and insults of childhood. Some learn from the experience. Spring tries to get old and is eaten alive by the seasons that surround it.
Manuel Arturo Abreau lives in a cycle that is hard to break. Life is full of possibilities and many of them are negative. Externalities are the things that press down on people. Desire hurts too. Proving existence takes too long, it takes a lifetime. By the time someone is ready to prove existence they are offed. That happens all the time and it is called death. The moon holds sin for everybody because bad behavior is rewarded in darkness.
John De Herrera talks about two emotions that form nice avenues. Every other emotion stems from the two. Cul-De-Sacs are those confused emotions that have difficultly figuring out what they are for besides serving as a way to increase property values. God sits on the tip of the tongue hoping to get transformed into new galaxies.
Felino A. Soriano associates embarrassment brands with fear through singing. A jazz duo forms around the heliocentric skies. Looking up at the skies the skies confess to everything because they are nothing and have nothing to hide. Cycles of demonstration last until something is sold.
Nicholas Bon puts a tarp on the sky to keep it dry. Evaporation fails with it. Bird trades are commonly made. Individuals make serious amounts of money via the bird trade.
A. Razor stays with the pack because of wounding. Injury makes a person weaker not stronger. Whoever said stronger was trying to make the weaker feel better about their plight. Either that or it was some ruined metaphor about failing. Marvels hide from broken souls because the broken souls owe too much.
Joe Bussiere enjoys his Big Comfy Couch. Joe Bussiere grew up as a Canadian child before he reached his peak adulthood. He knows the world is amazing and beautiful. Eyesight lets him know that much. Laughing or crying are two things that share a lot of similarities. Every day is the same for Joe Bussiere he likes Facebook and presses the button to indicate it.
Ending with a Canadian is tough work. Many people around the world are big into Canada. Canadians are big into Canada via it being the second largest country in the world. Sure Russia beats Canada in terms of sheer landmass, but Russia only has that “Weird Russia” movement. Canada has Post-Rock so Canada has a bit more commercial appeal. Hopefully with the upcoming epic finale Zoomoozophone Review can truly show the beauty of what it means to be a geographically limitless entity on the Internet.
Day two of the continuing coverage that is Zoomoozophone Review! Yes everyone ought to be excited. This is culture being made free of charge to the masses. Of course the masses need to know where to look. With this little collection (well not little like over a hundred pages) Matt Margo introduces new readers to a new world.
Kell Gallery sleeps on a sofa. Oh yes that is the life of New York. A moment spent on the subway is wasted. Hence people find themselves on couches all of the time. People sleep together in New York to huddle for warmth. Wet concrete in a concrete jungle sounds about right. Breakfasts of it all require kid gloves to handle the delicacy of the situation.
Hugh Tribbey sees soiled cops. Unfortunately cops are not always very good with bladder control. Put into the line of fire they often get worried, overly so. Trampled leaves give good clues to the noses on the grindstone but too much nose results in a nasty nosebleed. Sometimes it is best to ignore the clues and leave it for another shoe. Crushed popcorn happens frequently with too much want. Animated shorts require a necessary movie-going experience. Anger nightmares are yellow before they get red with violence. Cowardice creeps in hoping to move the mind out of harm’s way.
Jeff Harrison augers a quarantine for an O. Yes any boring would tend to make an O shape. The drill bit determines the size of the quarantine. People require a way to get away from themselves. A government bash is something to avoid. Calmness comes from the bash the aftereffect. Words find themselves into cramped quarters all of the time yet manages to make tender to the touch, heads brought fully into the clouds.
John Pursch explores everything. Offal is delivered to a special someone’s door. They use their ear with great skill. Chia’s are campy and require croutons for they are living, growing salads. Streams join into the mix showing off the beauty of a mechanical hum. Individuals take great pride in the quality of their mocking. An art form to some the better the string the stronger it can bring others together. The true way to bring people together is to insult them.
Kushal Poddar awakes from a TV set dream. That is an antiquated dream as the sloth of TV makes way for the sloth of the Internet. Coffee is important to keep the dreams at bay focusing on the present. Disruptions occur with startlingly frequency in the world.
John Rogers looks for the red handed and finds them living in the cloud. Above the clouds John Rogers lives in the cloud. He looks out a window and sees the head stuck in the clouds. Long ago those people would have been chastised. Now they are celebrated. He is in love with the skin he cannot touch. One day he will be able to but not today.
Alexander Limarev reassures readers that they might find death. Usually death finds people. Death is nice that way. Blues happen in the sky all the time to try and prevent others from suffering. To date that has not stopped a single bad thought.
Thanks to the nice comforting image of death it is time to end this section. Next up on the wonderful agenda is the greatness that is eating an orange.
Such a hard day and such a long night must have been spent putting this all together. Matt Margo never sleeps. He edits. He collects. With the end of the first day of coverage (this is going to be a multi-day affair to remember) keep in mind there are plenty of pages to check out, many new artists to explore.
Brooke Michelle Robinson closes the door to High School. That is the first step. Souls like being full of color and coral are beautiful in the watery light. Horses would eat donuts if they could they are sick of the apples somebody told them they liked. Doorknobs assist the world with closing out a room to the outside realm. Fresno is a place people mention all the time yet few ever see its majestic glory. Hurrying to the fantasy feast is of the utmost important. People got to eat and a fantasy involves a feasting frenzy. Cute ones with clipboards sit on the sidelines taking great notes about the world they want to live in.
Tamara Neufeld sends her conversations to a special someone. She waits a day or so to avoid ruining a school day. Deep in the school life requires a great amount of concentration. Life of sexuality needs a great amount of proximity. Nobody enjoys sex from far away. Eyes come home at night after long days of staring at things. Absorbing information is a livelihood and people make millions of dollars knowing the right things.
Caleb Bouchard dreams of going to church. Obviously Caleb Bouchard needs to improve upon his wholesome subconscious. He gets to listen to some music in church hopefully earlier Guns N’ Roses kind of stuff. Bob Dylan might not suit everybody’s taste it takes a while to really get into him. In reality Caleb Bouchard watches old people, yet another sign he may need to increase the adrenaline rush of his life.
Arlo Brooks becomes a jar. To break the spell the jar has over him he goes all Winnie the Pooh on it getting his head stuck in it. Such a terrible headspace involves head break. By using molasses one can slowdown the pace of their lives. Lives are meant to be lived slowly. When lives move too quickly they are short. Lives that move too slowly can get rather dreary.
Colin James goes to rock camp. Such a cruel fate for anyone longing to be a rocker, the rock camp used to mine actual rocks. Due to the decrease in mineral wealth across the world people have turned to making culture in hopes that cultural significance will distract from gradually decreasing standards of living.
Anca Mihaela tempts others to find sense. They find none. With eyes wide shut they try to embody the meaning of their words. Leapt up on eyelid screens they understand their words shall live on far longer than they could have possibly imagined.
Penny Goring meets a special someone in a doorway. They flirt. They fuck. Modern life requires a modern fuck. Love is poetry. Fucking is something entirely different. A few thoughts go into fucking like “when do I get to fuck” and “cool, I am fucking now”. Physical sensation is as important as intellectual. Both are nice to have but both are hard to have. It is one or the other the smell stench and London waiting to see everything the day after a lay-by.
Honestly I would be doing the world a great disservice by not ending it with one of my all-time favorite writers, Penny Goring. One day I hope to meet Penny Goring and discuss the important things in life. The work of Penny Goring is quite frankly stunning. While she only has one piece in here the benefit of the collection is that there are plenty more pieces to explore, on day two of this extensive-ass coverage.
All good things come to an end. The end in this case is incredibly far away. With so many artists these words were born to run. Pages and pages are filled with running words happy to frolic freely in the springtime air.
Wayne Mason leaks words through his pores. Psychic sweat is meant to cool off the conscious being. If somebody gives their two cents for a penny dream the penny dream investment becomes a profitable enterprise. Longing to hear the voice of words is difficult. Reading gives half the meaning keeping the other half for the writer. Dissonance is a necessary part of language. Art is about death. Any other meaning is accidental. Every piece created on behalf of art is an attempt at immortality. Culture wars enjoy the narration by esteemed cultural warriors, the sorts that fight with their understanding of a world they helped to create.
Patrick Trotti tries to let go. When an important person passes away those closest try to go on however difficult it may be. For a while the person’s imprint lasts on the mind. Nobody knows how to explain to others just how important the person was on their lives, they just wouldn’t understand.
Erik Moshe releases his inner nerd following the advice of a boy. A traffic light gets irritated by the scratching at the surface. Stopping everyone to re-examine its life takes a few moments. Poor tectonic boy gets graded on his efforts at school. Civics works best for the geographically defined creature. Homeland Security wants to control the Earth yet it only works for a large segment of a relatively minor continent.
Rachel Hyman hides. Such things are usual for the changing of the seasons. Journeys into the mind occur when the world is frozen. With sand the frozen wasteland gains a little bit of traction. After the frozen ground thaws the sand becomes a beach for everyone to enjoy.
Rachel Hyman and Justin Carter watch the explosion at the old saw mill down yonder by the river. Wood shavings mark the end of the industrial area. Abstract art comes into the old saw mill converted successfully into lofts for those longing for a simpler time when things were equal. The deficiency in art happens after reality has worn out its welcome and the only thing stomachs can handle is abstraction.
Austin Islam enjoys Honey Nut Cheerios like Omar from the hit series “The Wire”. Every bowl is full of honeyed words. Yes people ought to be more assertive. The lives they lead are theirs. Nobody else can help them live it up. Cigarettes are wastes of cash. Within that there is a hierarchy of things that vary in taste. Every year the age becomes more or less vital. Youth is vital to the world without it there can never be change. At least youth has the opportunity to have a cheese cake every now and again, remembering the time they went to a gas station to be real. Hotel lobbies keep travelers occupied. Employees at a hotel are aware of everything of traveling. Kids traveling are among the worst sorts of travelers, wanting to make connections with people who would prefer to be left alone. Life is like that: wanting to include and exclude equally.
“This section is over. Expect the next section to follow immediately.” – Austin Islam
Zoomoozophone Review picked the best for its first inaugural batch. Matt Margo is the brains behind the operation. With over one hundred pages it is obvious he wracked his mind over every possible piece. Thanks to his hard work he has brought forth a collection that can stand the test of time. Even though the collection did not study for the test of time it is sure to do fine.
Howie Good documents heart beats. A simple question about the next Wisconsin makes sense. Inward stares say more than words ever could. Zombies like the introspective nature it helps them succeed at their goal for brains. Simplified spelling allows zombies to communicate via the Internet, a world set up for humans who gave up on reality long ago. Humans are jigsaw puzzles in love with beauty hence their propensity for mirrors.
Glen Armstrong knows myth hates being thrown a curveball. From long ago myth has difficultly handling new things preferring to live in the old. Leaky fountain pens make any sort of clothing more interesting; that is their job and they do it with pride. Clothing runs on juice because clothing is in it to win it.
I’m here! Check my style out.
Volodymyr Bilyk asks to turn the urn and tutu too. Dance is a kind of death hence the need for a dead dance to be successfully cremated. Some things are better off dead.
Rhoda Penmarq wants the reader to experience quietude. Such things are hard to come by in a world of sound. The sounds dominate everything. Life with socks is a life worth living. A train is easily missed. Cities make certain everyone misses a train at some point. Punctuality has nothing to do with it. With a schedule chance becomes a serious thing.
Chuck Leary has been everything that anybody could ever want to be. From his years of experience he knows the truth about penetration. Military advisers use penetration in a different way than the layperson does, and boy does the layperson know about everything.
Steve Klepetar desires to see where the stars grew. That is an impossible task. Where a star grows is in the heart of the universe. Millions of years pass by before the star’s light is visible to the foolish creatures below on a green-blue orb. Ladders of smoke try to keep the stars in their correct positions placing them according to their power.
Josh Friedlander describes the live of a special artist. For some the world is not enough. More than a credo it is a way of life for others. Artists struggle their entire lives hoping to make an impact. Years later their lofty goals are achieved. The more suffering an artist goes through the more valuable their work becomes.
Alexandra Naughton understands that a bridge looks like a dinosaur. Travel is as ancient as a dinosaur. Where people need to go is an afterthought. Sweetness of a person can create cavities after the sugar high is gone. Inquisitive natures are torn down for parking lots. Every assumption needs a place to park itself.
Like the dinosaurs many think that online literature, the experimental best kind will go extinct someday. Fortunately that is far from the case judging from the epic batch coming out of the eyes and ears of writers across the world. For this is going to be a great event that continues…right now!